Morbidly obese SIL
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Anonymous
+1. I have a nephew who went through significant childhood trauma. He eats less variety than your SIL. He is getting feeding therapy now at 10 but it is so very difficult to change his ingrained behaviors. The idea that someone who has never had eating issues should be staging an intervention is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
| You know what will happen if you and DH interfere, right? She will never trust you or eat in front of you again. She will stop attending family events. Your BIL is trying to use you to shame her into changing. It won’t work. |
Anonymous
| Troll post….basically fat shaming bingo. |
Anonymous
Amazing response PP. This should be the only feedback given to posters, ever, to this type of question. |
Anonymous
| I didn't read the whole thread, which I'm sure is a nightmare, but it seems like the answer is for DH to start cooking healthy meals for the family. |
Anonymous
My child with medical and digestive issues has been in feeding therapy for over 5 years now and does eat better than this but I can tell you every therapist we have worked with has told us feeding issues are among the hardest to over come. It’s unlikely she’s going to change if she doesn’t want to. I think you can support your BIL and he can get a healthy meal delivery service but there is probably something very deep seated going on with your SIL that you will never understand. I have read dozen of books about selective eating and feeding disorders and attended therapy with my child for years so still don’t really understand. I hope eventually they will fare better than this but we will have spent hundreds of hours in therapy and tens of thousands of dollars to get them there. |
Anonymous
It is! And you are correct. |
Anonymous
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NP here. I don’t know WHAT is going on in this thread. I read most of posts and skimmer others. It seems like one or multiple people are really really ticked off by OP’s post and felt need to lash out at her.
Regardless of weight, issue is the lifestyle has led to serious health issues. Anyway, OP, this is not your business in terms of doing something or intervention, especially since you mentioned your SIL has never brought it up with you. It would be a violation of boundaries for you to intervene without your SIL’s invitation. Therefore you need to defer this back to your SIL’s husband. He needs to figure this out with his wife. If he is so busy and would like home cooked meals there are cooked delivery services out there. I frequently place these for my own family. They are pricier but if he has the means and this is such a big issue that he is talking about it with you then this should be no problem. Also, you guys need to stop talking about SIL weight and food topic behind her back. Just a NO. If DH brings it up you shut it down and say “we are sorry this is so hard but you have to speak directly to your wife about this. We love you both it’s not our place to get involved.” |
Anonymous
Don't be so sure. My husband is fat and he goes through incredible mental gymnastics to convince himself and everyone around that 1. He did not really eat it and 2. Even tough he ate it, he didn't eat that much, so it doesn't matter. Like gulping a bottle of Gatorade and being shocked that it has calories... well, it says right there on the label. Or getting something that has 50 calories per serving (it's almost nothing!), but ignoring the fact that the suggested "serving" is tiny. Or sticking a spoon into the peanut butter jar every 30 minutes, but "it's just a spoonful". So I call him out on that because while I can deal with him being fat, it's really annoying to hear how he does everything possible and still can't lose weight. My MIL is the same way - perpetually on a diet, reads all she can about diets, and eats like a 300 lbs football player because between being low carb one day and vegetarian the next day, she manages to devour a week worth of meat and potatoes. |
Anonymous
No, that is not OP. This is the "wild dog" defending itself. OP, you might want to ask Jeff to delete this thread, since it has brought out the ruthless, knee-jerk crazies who think no one can notice fat, much less obesity, without being judgmental misogynists. BTW, this is part of the psychological BS that goes with obesity -- no one has a right to say a word to the person getting fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter. Their obesity is literally the elephant in the room. It's part of their craziness and the craziness of any family that has an addict in it -- that everyone is sworn to silence. |
Anonymous
Funny how that is all you got out of the thread. |
Anonymous
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Her husband needs to take control of his own diet. He's delusional if he thinks he can't control it.
He needs to figure it out and take charge of his OWN eating. Make freezer meals. Maybe eat a big healthy lunch out, and a small easy healthy dinner that doesn't take time to prep (hummus and celery, cold sandwich, etc). |
Anonymous
Only he needs to be on board. He comes home and makes dinner. |
Anonymous
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Your SIL is exactly like my sister. NOTHING will change until she decides herself. I’ve offered to pay for a trainer, a nutrition coach, buy a peloton, etc and my sister always says no. She’s 350 lbs and 5 ft 5 and is a NP so she knows very well she’s very unhealthy. She now has diabetes.
I love my sister and support her but it pains me to see her like this. But there is nothing I can do but be ready to offer more support whenever she’s ready. I’m sorry Op. |
Anonymous
Clearly, they are sensitive about their weight. |