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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For any non-jerk people who are thinking an "intervention" is the right thing to do for an obese family member, please do not. It is not going to help and is only going to ruin any trust your beloved family member might have in you. Imagine the futility of trying to stage an intervention for a heavy smoker after 25 years. What do you imagine you could say that wouldn't sound ridiculous? Smoking is bad for your health? I worry about you? Let's throw those cigs out together! [b]A smoker or fat person is not living under a rock where they somehow need information from you to break their addiction and make better choices.[/b]

No matter what you personally believe about obese people (lazy, gross, stupid, mentally ill, genetically doomed, etc) the FACT is that very, very few people manage to lose a significant amount of weight and even fewer manage to keep it off forever. (Five percent, maybe? Someone will correct me, I'm sure.) And those successful unicorns are very, very personally motivated to do it. There is no way that someone who is already resistant to discussing the subject with their physicians and spouse is going to somehow magically be enlightened and transformed by the wisdom and well meaning interference by some in-law. It's just not helpful and only creates bad feelings (shame, anger, resentment).

Please continue to love your fat relatives, build loving and caring relationships that enable them to trust and confide in you, and work through any uncharitable thoughts in a way that helps you to be peaceful and accepting. Compassion is a gift to everyone.[/quote]

Don't be so sure.  My husband is fat and he goes through incredible mental gymnastics to convince himself and everyone around that 1. He did not really eat it and 2. Even tough he ate it, he didn't eat that much, so it doesn't matter.  Like gulping a bottle of Gatorade and being shocked that it has calories... well, it says right there on the label.  Or getting something that has 50 calories per serving (it's almost nothing!), but ignoring the fact that the suggested "serving" is tiny.  Or sticking a spoon into the peanut butter jar every 30 minutes, but "it's just a spoonful".   So I call him out on that because while I can deal with him being fat, it's really annoying to hear how he does everything possible and still can't lose weight.  My MIL is the same way - perpetually on a diet, reads all she can about diets, and eats like a 300 lbs football player because between being low carb one day and vegetarian the next day, she manages to devour a week worth of meat and potatoes.  [/quote]

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