Meeting a Guy in Big Law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

They’re offices since they are working 90 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

I know one very senior Supreme Court litigator who leaves at 4:30 as a default rule. So, sure. It exists.

that's like saying Tom Brady has a 50M contract so that is what all NFL players make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

I know one very senior Supreme Court litigator who leaves at 4:30 as a default rule. So, sure. It exists.

that's like saying Tom Brady has a 50M contract so that is what all NFL players make.

Leaves at 4:30 is not the same as stops work at 4:30. Also Supreme Court litigation isn’t money generators for firms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the obsession with Big Law? Just so she can brag to her friends? BFD…

As someone who spent 10+ years in Big Law, I assume this is a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Were these women baking for your man? Or just sending in cookies for the entire office at Christmas? I am a happily married woman who does the latter. Please don’t read into it…

No, dear it was special made for my kids. She baked it with a friend. Not once, many times. Then even after she left came back to the office party (I didn’t use to go), but I was there. The cringe. Never heard from her since then and good riddance.

What surprised me with this younger woman was the amount of make up. It’s that stuff popularized by the Kardashians that we used to think of as stage make up. Also, the lack of own ambition.

Oh, they are plenty ambitious and calculating… Lots of men can’t help but respond favorably to being fawned over and mothered with homemade cookies. Their responses typically don’t include marriage proposals.

No one wants your "man" who probably looks like shit after years of a high stress job. I know a big law partner who is 38 and looks 50. He is really smart and funny but I can't imagine some 22yo paralegal chasing after him.

Yet they do all the time.

10 years in biglaw now and I can’t think of a single example of a paralegal chasing a partner. I know some that dated associates but that’s about it.

Especially because biglaw paralegals, at least the young ones, are “pre law” AKA working as a paralegal as a gap between college and law school. They don’t need a rich old man, they can do what most of us do and marry a classmate on his way up.

I saw paralegal-partner pairings but just as often it was the partner chasing a paralegal or secretary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most Biglaw lawyers were nerdy when younger and got married early to unattractive and mostly fat wives.

Is this actually true? One of my neighbors is a partner whose kid let it slip that he was making $1M like 20 years ago, so I assume now he's bringing in like $3M+ a year. His wife is obese and literally a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

I always thought this was so weird and that he must be an extreme outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

I know one very senior Supreme Court litigator who leaves at 4:30 as a default rule. So, sure. It exists.

that's like saying Tom Brady has a 50M contract so that is what all NFL players make.

Turn your brain on. That was my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Biglaw lawyers were nerdy when younger and got married early to unattractive and mostly fat wives.

Is this actually true? One of my neighbors is a partner whose kid let it slip that he was making $1M like 20 years ago, so I assume now he's bringing in like $3M+ a year. His wife is obese and literally a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

I always thought this was so weird and that he must be an extreme outlier.

Eh. It’s not that rare. But most DC women are plain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

I know one very senior Supreme Court litigator who leaves at 4:30 as a default rule. So, sure. It exists.

that's like saying Tom Brady has a 50M contract so that is what all NFL players make.

Leaves at 4:30 is not the same as stops work at 4:30. Also Supreme Court litigation isn’t money generators for firms.

He actually does stop working then but your second sentence is part of why it’s true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Search threads here for "big law." Many posts by women (and some men) married to big law attorneys, complaining how their spouses neglect the marriages, leave the spouse to deal with the kids entirely, cheat, etc. Then go right ahead and hunt for your big law man, but do it informed about what others have experienced. I'm sure you'll say "That won't happen to me!"

Hope they all get prenups. The wives don't deserve 1/2

Why would I sign a prenup that didn’t give me half?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met mine when we were both in law school. He’s a partner now and I don’t know a single partner who isn’t married unless he’s divorced. The vast majority of my biglaw friends paired up while in law school come to think of it (of course not all with lawyers but a LOT are).

Lawyers tend to be married to law school classmates -- maybe not married when they start in big law -- just dating. But on the guy side the first and second round draft picks are already married.

This is my experience as a millennial. The overwhelming majority of my law school friends are married to another lawyer.

+1

Same - they want interesting conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were these women baking for your man? Or just sending in cookies for the entire office at Christmas? I am a happily married woman who does the latter. Please don’t read into it…

No, dear it was special made for my kids. She baked it with a friend. Not once, many times. Then even after she left came back to the office party (I didn’t use to go), but I was there. The cringe. Never heard from her since then and good riddance.

What surprised me with this younger woman was the amount of make up. It’s that stuff popularized by the Kardashians that we used to think of as stage make up. Also, the lack of own ambition.

Oh, they are plenty ambitious and calculating… Lots of men can’t help but respond favorably to being fawned over and mothered with homemade cookies. Their responses typically don’t include marriage proposals.

No one wants your "man" who probably looks like shit after years of a high stress job. I know a big law partner who is 38 and looks 50. He is really smart and funny but I can't imagine some 22yo paralegal chasing after him.

There are a lot of women in this forum who think their husbands are irresistible or some woman making cookies or small talk is after their man.

It’s definitely deluded but kind of sweet, I guess?

Yeah, I mean I get it, you definitely want to be your dh's hype woman, esp. if he's bringing home big law level bucks. "Oh honey, you are so handsome and smart and funny and cool and great in bed and I'm so lucky!!! Yes, your paralegal who just graduated from college absolutely wants to sleep with you!" The difference between PP and most people is that most people would just say that. Seems PP has started to believe it, sadly.

When I was 23 I took cookies to the office. It's because the night before, my boyfriend wanted cookies so we baked them together but we made too many and his roommates didn't want them and he couldn't reasonably eat 24 cookies alone before they went stale. So we split them up and took them to our respective offices. Neither of us was trying to sleep with our boss lmfao.

I am glad you had a nice upbringing and wholesome cooking baking sessions with your boyfriend. And office jobs at 23! Sadly, this is not everyone’s story and we witness daily posts about trying to marry wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read the thread but go to an Ivy League law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

Lots of lawyers leave work around 5 these days. We just get back on the computer at home around 8 and work until bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a Big Law partner leave work at 430 and make dinner every night? Is that common?

Idk but no one needs to make dinner every night. I don't care if you are big law partner, Chef Ramsey or a SAHM, order take out, go to restaurants or eat leftovers, whatever meets your budget but cooking every night is just too much.

And this is why America is fat.

+1

It's why I got fat, anyway. Legal career + exhaustion every night + nice restaurant takeout = ungodly weight gain.