Meeting a Guy in Big Law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Search threads here for "big law." Many posts by women (and some men) married to big law attorneys, complaining how their spouses neglect the marriages, leave the spouse to deal with the kids entirely, cheat, etc. Then go right ahead and hunt for your big law man, but do it informed about what others have experienced. I'm sure you'll say "That won't happen to me!"

Hope they all get prenups. The wives don't deserve 1/2

Why would I sign a prenup that didn’t give me half?

BATNA. Do you have a backup multimillionaire?
He has a backup golddigger for sure.

[Anonymous]

Best time to meet them is the year they are clerking before they start working in big law. They’ll have time to establish a relationship before the crazy hours start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

Why do you ask, OP? When you say big law are you talking about certain law firms (K&E, L&W, Hogan, et al) that pull rank or are you talking about some rinky dink shingle firm in a suburb? What is the attraction? I suppose money? Or something more? You think it will give you esteem? Are you the Harvard educated lawyer?

[Anonymous]

[i]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Search threads here for "big law." Many posts by women (and some men) married to big law attorneys, complaining how their spouses neglect the marriages, leave the spouse to deal with the kids entirely, cheat, etc. Then go right ahead and hunt for your big law man, but do it informed about what others have experienced. I'm sure you'll say "That won't happen to me!"

Hope they all get prenups. The wives don't deserve 1/2

Why would I sign a prenup that didn’t give me half?

BATNA. Do you have a backup multimillionaire?
He has a backup golddigger for sure.

We got married in law school but yes, if he had insisted on a prenup, I would have married some other fellow lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

Not sure. Depends where you went to law school, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

My Big Law friend likes new immigrant women. He hangs out in traffic court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

At work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do they hang out?

Why do you ask, OP? When you say big law are you talking about certain law firms (K&E, L&W, Hogan, et al) that pull rank or are you talking about some rinky dink shingle firm in a suburb? What is the attraction? I suppose money? Or something more? You think it will give you esteem? Are you the Harvard educated lawyer?

DP. Big Law usually means at least a firm that’s Am Law 200. So no shingle in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Biglaw lawyers were nerdy when younger and got married early to unattractive and mostly fat wives.

Is this actually true? One of my neighbors is a partner whose kid let it slip that he was making $1M like 20 years ago, so I assume now he's bringing in like $3M+ a year. His wife is obese and literally a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

I always thought this was so weird and that he must be an extreme outlier.

DP. I think this was maybe more true in the past but a lot of people work before law school now and have a taste of the single life beforehand. My husband works in big law and I know a lot of his co-workers and there isn’t a fat wife in the bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bit of practical advice for the gold-diggers looking to marry a Biglaw partner. Make sure that he is an equity partner. Big firms have a lower category of partners that go by the terms non-equity, stipend, or income partners. You don't want to go near one of these. They are like glorified associates who have the title partner, but they work a zillion hours and carry all the stress of a big firm lawyer, but don't earn seven figure pay like the equity partners. as a woman chasing a glitzy lifestyle you would be getting the downside without the upside. so on the first date/interview with a biglaw partner, be sure you ask about that.

Omg slay kween. Thank u for this advice. Gonna go stand outside Kirkland & Ellis at 5pm and see what happens

Kirkland and Ellis is the absolute worst place to look. They basically promote every senior associate to “partner.” Then there’s another process to make equity partner after that.

[Anonymous]

My DH is in big law it is quite hard. He works all the time and does not help out around the house. He is a great dad but does not really have time to do anything besides work and spend time with us. It’s important to me to work so I have no free time basically. But it’s ultimately okay because I love this man with all my heart. If I did not it would NOT be worth it. I went to an Ivy and know a lot of wealthy dudes and if you are just straight up gold digging big law is not the way to go. If you can find a finance guy who is not a degenerate then that’s a better avenue. I also have a cousin who is a plastic surgeon that’s another superior option because they have a more clearly defined line between work and home.

[Anonymous]

Every guy I know who is in big law is kind of a dork. Actually, every guy I know who is a lawyer in general is a dork. Shouldn't be too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met mine when we were both in law school. He’s a partner now and I don’t know a single partner who isn’t married unless he’s divorced. The vast majority of my biglaw friends paired up while in law school come to think of it (of course not all with lawyers but a LOT are).

Lawyers tend to be married to law school classmates -- maybe not married when they start in big law -- just dating. But on the guy side the first and second round draft picks are already married.

This is my experience as a millennial. The overwhelming majority of my law school friends are married to another lawyer.

+1

Same - they want interesting conversation.

Ha. I think you might be overestimating how interesting layers are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met mine when we were both in law school. He’s a partner now and I don’t know a single partner who isn’t married unless he’s divorced. The vast majority of my biglaw friends paired up while in law school come to think of it (of course not all with lawyers but a LOT are).

Lawyers tend to be married to law school classmates -- maybe not married when they start in big law -- just dating. But on the guy side the first and second round draft picks are already married.

This is my experience as a millennial. The overwhelming majority of my law school friends are married to another lawyer.

+1

Same - they want interesting conversation.

Ha. I think you might be overestimating how interesting layers are.

This, I know two big law partners in their 30s. One is a woman who is absolutely brilliant but kind of stern and cold and her husband is very outgoing and charming and a typical guy's guy. They work well together. The other is a man who is again, very smart, but he's kind of shy and socially awkward. He is dating a woman who is smart but I think has a little bit of a lower stress job than him, and frankly, she can carry a conversation much better.

I don't see lawyers pair up with other lawyers frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met mine when we were both in law school. He’s a partner now and I don’t know a single partner who isn’t married unless he’s divorced. The vast majority of my biglaw friends paired up while in law school come to think of it (of course not all with lawyers but a LOT are).

Lawyers tend to be married to law school classmates -- maybe not married when they start in big law -- just dating. But on the guy side the first and second round draft picks are already married.

This is my experience as a millennial. The overwhelming majority of my law school friends are married to another lawyer.

+1

Same - they want interesting conversation.

Ha. I think you might be overestimating how interesting layers are.

+1
I wouldn't look to lawyers for interesting conversation. Although I admit I am a lawyer married to another lawyer and we do like bouncing arguments/strategy off of each other.