Can y'all stop being so mean, and tell your kids that, too?

[Anonymous]

My kid walked in her "W" school wearing a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it - major big ten university, but not Michigan or Northwestern. The snob brats at her table said "You aren't thinking of going there are you? They accept everyone! It's nothing but a party school!" It was so way off and so cruel. I mean what kids even think like this or worse, blurt it out to others. So deranged. This is coming from hypercompetitive, rude ass parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Lol, I think you got that backwards. For a confident child, none of this needs to be explained, and they won't feel the need to denigrate other kids' circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

Ironic given only people in VA think UVA is a better school. As a non-VA person, objectively speaking, UNC has a better international reputation and it is much harder to get into, out of state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

“Teasing” is part of high school and if your kid doesn’t have the confidence to handle it, get them outside help, or parent them, until they can. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

Wow. Teasing is only a part of high school because Ahole parents like you normalize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DC area sounds horrible! None of this is happening at our suburban Chicago high school by students or parents!!! Everyone is happy to be going to college

I don't doubt it. Midwesterners are not cut like this..

+1. Wisconsin family here. We’re just happy DS got into college! He was elected Best Personality so his under 200 top college choice hasn’t hurt his likability.

Wisconsin here too, I am just not programmed like people here. It’s just so different, and often shocking what people say (and think!). So entitled and judgmental. It is such a relief talking to the friends I grew up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

Just keep your personal business to yourself and this wont happen.

DP. So students should hide where they are going to college from everyone? I guess that's what it's come to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

Just keep your personal business to yourself and this wont happen.

DP. So students should hide where they are going to college from everyone? I guess that's what it's come to.

Just maintain your privacy. Get the kid a sweatshirt and if someone inquires, go ahead and share. But there is no need for announcements and posts and bumper stickers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid walked in her "W" school wearing a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it - major big ten university, but not Michigan or Northwestern. The snob brats at her table said "You aren't thinking of going there are you? They accept everyone! It's nothing but a party school!" It was so way off and so cruel. I mean what kids even think like this or worse, blurt it out to others. So deranged. This is coming from hypercompetitive, rude ass parenting.

That is just snarky immature nonsense. You could belittle any college if you want too. Ignore

[Anonymous]

Want to*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

“not sorry”? Are you 15? As adults you would realize that being gratuitously mean is immature and unwarranted.

I know a set of parents like this - thought their kid was the golden child - then their kid was suddenly shunned from their friend group and it knocked the parents down a peg. It's pathetic that that is what it took.

Wow you sound like a terrible parent. How about stay in your own lane?

[Anonymous]

The pandemic has stunted the maturity rate of the current crop of teens. I definitely see it between my current graduating seniors and her older siblings. We are going to have to give it a little time and attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear and insecurity in DC is palpable. No other place I have lived is like this. It’s like we’re the worst type of social climbers and bullies.

This. So true.

+1

I avoid people from the area, because they are the worst - the negative behavior is ingrained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad we moved out of the DC area before HS. My kid goes to a private school and virtually all of the students go to college, but there is no meanness about the students' choices.

One of the many good things that has happened to my kid is getting to know people from all walks of life and truly understanding how privileged she is to be able to choose to attend any college she can get into. One of my DC's friends is starting out at community college, and DC understands that this is a wise choice for someone who has limited resources, or wants to stay close to home, or wants to do so for any number of other reasons. Another friend will be attending a "top 20" college, and DC is very happy for him, but no more so than the 5 or 6 that will be going to the state flagship. It's just not that big of a deal, either way.

It's not just this board -- I talk to old friends from DC's private school in DC, and even second hand, I can sense the stress and competitiveness. My DH have discussed more than once how happy we are to not be part of it.

+1

People who don't take part in the sh*t talking get shunned, as if that is a bad thing. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

This has nothing to do with being confident. Teach your child to be a good human being. But I understand why you can’t, because your answer reveals that you are not a decent person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

What is wrong with you? Being confident does not give you the right to bash them. It is not ok to be teasing with mean intent. But it takes a bad parent to bring up bad children. I hope I will never cross path with you! I will pray for your soul!

“Teasing” is part of high school and if your kid doesn’t have the confidence to handle it, get them outside help, or parent them, until they can. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.