Can y'all stop being so mean, and tell your kids that, too?

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I just read you live not too far away...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live now?

We live in Towson, on the north side of Baltimore (and yes, we really do like it here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live now?

We live in Towson, on the north side of Baltimore (and yes, we really do like it here).

OP here. That is not me above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a W school in Montgomery County. Husband and I are appalled at the nasty comments she receives. So rude, so nasty. We just figure the parents must be as nasty. Openly talk about their top SAT scores, and which colleges are good and which are not. Daughter has come home in tears. I can't wait to get out of this area and can't wait to get HER out. We don't want to look at Maryland for this reason - have had enough...

Most of our friends at the W school weren't like that, BECAUSE OF WHO WE CHOSE AS FRIENDS.

Others, made random comments like referring to the "apartment people" (i.e., those who did not own free standing homes). When I served little kids bagels on paper plates after a sleep over, one kid was appalled and commented "oh, so you did not feel like cleaning dishes?" Disdainfully. A little kid. She also questioned why my DC did not own as many books as she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

Does this "replacement" below help you understand?

"" As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other "racist" people..."racist" people will always exist ""

We ALL know what resilience is and I'm pretty certain most of us GET your point. But teaching/being resilience isn't everything and as far as I can tell, does not seem to be the issue for OP or OP's child.

Being/Teaching resilience doesn't mean it's then ok to summarily discount the valid point the OP has shed light on. The way you are replying to the OP is mean in itself. Maybe you didn't intend it that way...but digging in your heels about it has made you come across as a harda$$ who genuinely don't care.

If resilience is your only point - a "nicer" way to make that point might be to say "I totally hear you, people are obnoxious in DMV about colleges. The best way we have found to manage the minefield is by combatting at home with positive messaging and teaching resilience".

Good luck to you. Hopefully you don't steamroll in real life as you have on this topic thread.

[Anonymous]

By age 17 or 18, your kid should have a thicker skin. Someone told my son that his college choice was for retards. My son said, "So which dorm are you going to be living in?" If this is the first time someone has ever said anything rude to your kid, he/she leads a sheltered life. Too sheltered.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. There are a lot of bit&!es and assh&0!s on this particular forum. I do suspect the worst are not even from here, though, they just like to stir the pot.

I always say I’m happy for kids when they make a decision, and my kids’ friends have all been extremely kind to each other. I hope your kid enjoys his/her school and wish them all the happiness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By age 17 or 18, your kid should have a thicker skin. Someone told my son that his college choice was for retards. My son said, "So which dorm are you going to be living in?" If this is the first time someone has ever said anything rude to your kid, he/she leads a sheltered life. Too sheltered.

OP here. You are incredibly rude. I didn't say anything about my kid or about it being the first or last time someone said something rude to them. My kid is not sheltered in any way, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

Does this "replacement" below help you understand?

"" As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other "racist" people..."racist" people will always exist ""

We ALL know what resilience is and I'm pretty certain most of us GET your point. But teaching/being resilience isn't everything and as far as I can tell, does not seem to be the issue for OP or OP's child.

Being/Teaching resilience doesn't mean it's then ok to summarily discount the valid point the OP has shed light on. The way you are replying to the OP is mean in itself. Maybe you didn't intend it that way...but digging in your heels about it has made you come across as a harda$$ who genuinely don't care.

If resilience is your only point - a "nicer" way to make that point might be to say "I totally hear you, people are obnoxious in DMV about colleges. The best way we have found to manage the minefield is by combatting at home with positive messaging and teaching resilience".

Good luck to you. Hopefully you don't steamroll in real life as you have on this topic thread.


That is literally what I have been saying...FFS

[Anonymous]

I think it's just this area, OP.

My nieces and nephews moved outside of this area and have reported that school is so much more enjoyable outside of the DMV bubble.

Their school publishes where each student is going after HS and the kids going to a community college don't get sh!t on like around here. It's also perfectly acceptable for a kid to list going to a culinary school or art school or trade program after HS and again, get support instead of crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

Does this "replacement" below help you understand?

"" As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other "racist" people..."racist" people will always exist ""

We ALL know what resilience is and I'm pretty certain most of us GET your point. But teaching/being resilience isn't everything and as far as I can tell, does not seem to be the issue for OP or OP's child.

Being/Teaching resilience doesn't mean it's then ok to summarily discount the valid point the OP has shed light on. The way you are replying to the OP is mean in itself. Maybe you didn't intend it that way...but digging in your heels about it has made you come across as a harda$$ who genuinely don't care.

If resilience is your only point - a "nicer" way to make that point might be to say "I totally hear you, people are obnoxious in DMV about colleges. The best way we have found to manage the minefield is by combatting at home with positive messaging and teaching resilience".

Good luck to you. Hopefully you don't steamroll in real life as you have on this topic thread.


That is literally what I have been saying...FFS

Apologies if you are getting mixed in with other posters - but if not- the point I am making is the "way" you are saying it has been mean, insensitive, and dismissive of the OP's actual point (which never said her child was having trouble with shrugging it off).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.
[/

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

Does this "replacement" below help you understand?

"" As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other "racist" people..."racist" people will always exist ""

We ALL know what resilience is and I'm pretty certain most of us GET your point. But teaching/being resilience isn't everything and as far as I can tell, does not seem to be the issue for OP or OP's child.

Being/Teaching resilience doesn't mean it's then ok to summarily discount the valid point the OP has shed light on. The way you are replying to the OP is mean in itself. Maybe you didn't intend it that way...but digging in your heels about it has made you come across as a harda$$ who genuinely don't care.

If resilience is your only point - a "nicer" way to make that point might be to say "I totally hear you, people are obnoxious in DMV about colleges. The best way we have found to manage the minefield is by combatting at home with positive messaging and teaching resilience".

Good luck to you. Hopefully you don't steamroll in real life as you have on this topic thread.


That is literally what I have been saying...FFS

Apologies if you are getting mixed in with other posters - but if not- the point I am making is the "way" you are saying it has been mean, insensitive, and dismissive of the OP's actual point (which never said her child was having trouble with shrugging it off).

No apologies necessary, I have said nothing mean...only pointed out the obvious. You cannot control what other people do, that is fact. The only thing you can do is create an environment that is supportive of your child and teaches them that they are unique and special for who they are. Confidence starts at home, my child has not used their legs ever but remains a positive productive individual despite a world that has maligned them from being the perfect image. It's OK, the world isn't perfect, people are not perfect...IT IS WHAT WE INSTILL IN OUR CHILDREN THAT COUNTS! I'm done with this discourse, strong people can deal with weak people's insults because mean people are the weak ones...full stop.

[Anonymous]

I am so glad we moved out of the DC area before HS. My kid goes to a private school and virtually all of the students go to college, but there is no meanness about the students' choices.

One of the many good things that has happened to my kid is getting to know people from all walks of life and truly understanding how privileged she is to be able to choose to attend any college she can get into. One of my DC's friends is starting out at community college, and DC understands that this is a wise choice for someone who has limited resources, or wants to stay close to home, or wants to do so for any number of other reasons. Another friend will be attending a "top 20" college, and DC is very happy for him, but no more so than the 5 or 6 that will be going to the state flagship. It's just not that big of a deal, either way.

It's not just this board -- I talk to old friends from DC's private school in DC, and even second hand, I can sense the stress and competitiveness. My DH have discussed more than once how happy we are to not be part of it.