Can y'all stop being so mean, and tell your kids that, too?

[Anonymous]

I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

[Anonymous]

I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

NP, but jeez — you’re proving OP’s point. Many high schoolers are relatively insecure. Reminding everyone to be kind is always a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

PP here - and this poster completely made my point. It is mean!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

DP but this is a bad take. If your kids are in school mocking their classmates' college prospects, the issue is not their classmates' lack of confidence. It's your parenting.

That said, OP there's nothing wrong with telling your kid that some people, including his/her classmates, are @ssholes and encountering those types is going to happen for the rest of their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

Huh, so you just do not care that kids are berated/socially alienated over this sort of thing. Good for your kid I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Can't you teach your children to deal with comments? You can't protect them from everything, everywhere. What are you going to do when your 24 yr old "child" calls you crying because someone at work said something they didn't like? Tell them to complain to their boss? HR?

Teach your kids to let comments roll off their backs. Teach your kids to laugh things off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you teach your children to deal with comments? You can't protect them from everything, everywhere. What are you going to do when your 24 yr old "child" calls you crying because someone at work said something they didn't like? Tell them to complain to their boss? HR?

Teach your kids to let comments roll off their backs. Teach your kids to laugh things off.

OP here. My child isn't really the subject of these comments, but has said that other kids are frequently.

[Anonymous]

OP, everyone knows these things already. They are saying mean things because they are mean, miserable people whose only joy and self worth comes from trying to put others down. Confident, happy people don't act that way.

Teach your kid not to worry what those kind of people say, and to be glad that they have revealed themselves so clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

“not sorry”? Are you 15? As adults you would realize that being gratuitously mean is immature and unwarranted.

[Anonymous]

It is awful that anyone would be anything but supportive at this stage of a kid's development.

I ALWAYS say something positive when I hear someone's post-high school plans ("congratulations" works for most scenarios). I share anything good I have heard about the school (if they are going to college). I say "You must be proud" to the parents, because that should always be the case.

Anyone who needs guidance on this type of interaction is probably too far gone to receive it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, everyone knows these things already. They are saying mean things because they are mean, miserable people whose only joy and self worth comes from trying to put others down. Confident, happy people don't act that way.

Teach your kid not to worry what those kind of people say, and to be glad that they have revealed themselves so clearly.

This. And yes it still sucks when people are mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

“not sorry”? Are you 15? As adults you would realize that being gratuitously mean is immature and unwarranted.

I know a set of parents like this - thought their kid was the golden child - then their kid was suddenly shunned from their friend group and it knocked the parents down a peg. It's pathetic that that is what it took.