Can y'all stop being so mean, and tell your kids that, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

A confident child also doesn't need to dunk on other people's schools, jobs, clothes, or whatever. This kind of meanness reeks of insecurity. Confident people can afford to be kind. Losers are mean because they don't have anything to be proud about and they know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

A confident child also doesn't need to dunk on other people's schools, jobs, clothes, or whatever. This kind of meanness reeks of insecurity. Confident people can afford to be kind. Losers are mean because they don't have anything to be proud about and they know it.

What PP said was a confident child comfortable with their choice won't bite and combat the meanness in an intelligent secure way, not that it's OK for confident kids to be mean, it is usually the mean kids that are the biggest basket cases of all.....lighten up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid walked in her "W" school wearing a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it - major big ten university, but not Michigan or Northwestern. The snob brats at her table said "You aren't thinking of going there are you? They accept everyone! It's nothing but a party school!" It was so way off and so cruel. I mean what kids even think like this or worse, blurt it out to others. So deranged. This is coming from hypercompetitive, rude ass parenting.

Wow, sorry, that stinks. We are down county, so less of an issue, but some of the magnet kids can get like this. Hope there are others she can hang with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

If you live in VA and turn down UVA I could see where the question comes from. If not then who cares? Both schools are great and logical people know this.

But they should simply just congratulate the kid and parents for wherever the kid wants to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

If you live in VA and turn down UVA I could see where the question comes from. If not then who cares? Both schools are great and logical people know this.

But they should simply just congratulate the kid and parents for wherever the kid wants to go.

A lot of people "should" do things...they don't. What's your remedy in life for what you think people "should" do vs. "don't" do other than complain about it on an anonymous internet board? People are mean, the world is tough, learn to live with it and teach you spawn to not give a Fu@k what other people think...FFS.

[Anonymous]

So many people on this board expect 17 year olds to have same reasoning, perspective, maturity, and thick skin of 50 year olds. I see it in several topics but this and anything about rush, and they’re like moths to a flame. Sorry, OP. I agree with you. Ignore the sociopathic trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

If you live in VA and turn down UVA I could see where the question comes from. If not then who cares? Both schools are great and logical people know this.

But they should simply just congratulate the kid and parents for wherever the kid wants to go.

A lot of people "should" do things...they don't. What's your remedy in life for what you think people "should" do vs. "don't" do other than complain about it on an anonymous internet board? People are mean, the world is tough, learn to live with it and teach you spawn to not give a Fu@k what other people think...FFS.

Yeah don’t try to change anything, just know your place, the world is just…hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

If you live in VA and turn down UVA I could see where the question comes from. If not then who cares? Both schools are great and logical people know this.

But they should simply just congratulate the kid and parents for wherever the kid wants to go.

A lot of people "should" do things...they don't. What's your remedy in life for what you think people "should" do vs. "don't" do other than complain about it on an anonymous internet board? People are mean, the world is tough, learn to live with it and teach you spawn to not give a Fu@k what other people think...FFS.

Yeah don’t try to change anything, just know your place, the world is just…hmm.

I love how the PP who said it’s up to the kids to be confident, secure, mature, etc. and if they’re not it’s a failure of parenting blah blah, is so upset by all these posts that she just cannot stop coming back to defend herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

If you live in VA and turn down UVA I could see where the question comes from. If not then who cares? Both schools are great and logical people know this.

But they should simply just congratulate the kid and parents for wherever the kid wants to go.

A lot of people "should" do things...they don't. What's your remedy in life for what you think people "should" do vs. "don't" do other than complain about it on an anonymous internet board? People are mean, the world is tough, learn to live with it and teach you spawn to not give a Fu@k what other people think...FFS.

Yeah don’t try to change anything, just know your place, the world is just…hmm.

I love how the PP who said it’s up to the kids to be confident, secure, mature, etc. and if they’re not it’s a failure of parenting blah blah, is so upset by all these posts that she just cannot stop coming back to defend herself

[Anonymous]

There is immense internal shame associated with going to a terrible college like I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid walked in her "W" school wearing a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it - major big ten university, but not Michigan or Northwestern. The snob brats at her table said "You aren't thinking of going there are you? They accept everyone! It's nothing but a party school!" It was so way off and so cruel. I mean what kids even think like this or worse, blurt it out to others. So deranged. This is coming from hypercompetitive, rude ass parenting.

If it helps, tell your kid to tell the “snobby brats” that all the private school kids can’t believe there are kids who “actually go” there [“W” school] and think it’s cool to call it a “W” school as if that is something to be proud of. Ha ha ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid walked in her "W" school wearing a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it - major big ten university, but not Michigan or Northwestern. The snob brats at her table said "You aren't thinking of going there are you? They accept everyone! It's nothing but a party school!" It was so way off and so cruel. I mean what kids even think like this or worse, blurt it out to others. So deranged. This is coming from hypercompetitive, rude ass parenting.

If it helps, tell your kid to tell the “snobby brats” that all the private school kids can’t believe there are kids who “actually go” there [“W” school] and think it’s cool to call it a “W” school as if that is something to be proud of. Ha ha ha.

How would that help? An adult teaching a kid an immature response instead of how to speak to peers with respect? Ignore the immaturity and lead by example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

“Teasing” is part of high school and if your kid doesn’t have the confidence to handle it, get them outside help, or parent them, until they can. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

This is exactly the philosophy of the parents and administration at the private school that my DC attended in the DC area through middle school. FWIW, my kid was fine there, but we are so happy that we left the DC area and let my DC discover that not everyone in the world is like this.