Can y'all stop being so mean, and tell your kids that, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This. DC got accepted to UNC and UVA and decided to go to UNC. People, including parents, have acted like DC is going to a terrible school and keep asking why DC would turn down UVA for UNC. Just congratulate the kid and move on.

"I'm really excited to be moving to Chapel Hill. The people there are authentic, interesting, and kind, not at all like this area."

sincerely,

A Chapel Hill resident

This. I am a Virginian who also went to UNC; many of the UVA graduates are the worst kind of bullies and snobs. Thankfully I am not from the DC area; Chapel Hill was awesome, and the kids who are going there will be so grateful to be out of the DC area bubble once they get there.

Just ignore the bullies, and consider now the kids know who are really their friends and who aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

“Teasing” is part of high school and if your kid doesn’t have the confidence to handle it, get them outside help, or parent them, until they can. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

I bet your kid is a bully.

[Anonymous]

This board is far meaner and more snarky than ANY of my kid's friends! But, there are some informative and (dare I say) kind souls on here too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

Respectfully disagree. It IS mean. It's not that some of us merely "think" that it is mean.

--Parent of student dealing with the highlighted section.

OK, sorry your child is dealing with that. We control what we can control, there are mean people in this world. Hell, Russia is leveling entire cities and murdering thousands of innocent people right now, Ukraine is standing their ground against the heathens. We will never live in a perfect world, if a kid didn't get into Harvard and some other school deemed not worthy they should own and be proud of what they did earn, not sure why this is a difficult concept.

Not sure why its a difficult concept for a lot of kids to not be nasty.

As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other nasty people...nasty people will always exist!

Yes - but it is also true that parents should teach their kids to not be nasty and that parents should not be nasty themselves....

Agree, but YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT...the only thing you can teach YOUR child is being confident in their own skin. This is not a hard concept, my kid has lived their live in a wheel chair so I get it.

Does this "replacement" below help you understand?

"" As I said, you can't control other people. Only yourself and the reaction to other "racist" people..."racist" people will always exist ""

We ALL know what resilience is and I'm pretty certain most of us GET your point. But teaching/being resilience isn't everything and as far as I can tell, does not seem to be the issue for OP or OP's child.

Being/Teaching resilience doesn't mean it's then ok to summarily discount the valid point the OP has shed light on. The way you are replying to the OP is mean in itself. Maybe you didn't intend it that way...but digging in your heels about it has made you come across as a harda$$ who genuinely don't care.

If resilience is your only point - a "nicer" way to make that point might be to say "I totally hear you, people are obnoxious in DMV about colleges. The best way we have found to manage the minefield is by combatting at home with positive messaging and teaching resilience".

Good luck to you. Hopefully you don't steamroll in real life as you have on this topic thread.

The OP “has shed light on” nothing. None of this will change.

You people convincing yourselves you’re saving the world because you post childish fits on the internet demanding to control other people’s behavior are laughable. Grow up.

"You people" is a dead giveaway to this poster's judgment. They seem to have posted frequently on this thread to try to dominate the conversation. Be gone, Elmira Gulch! Before someone drops a house on you too!

[Anonymous]

So many people who simply do not care about others’ feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this both on here and IRL. My child is a senior in high school and there are kids and parents saying really mean things to their classmates about what college they're going to. I hope you realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be going to a ''bad'' college: their parents have no college savings for them (regardless of the parents income), the parents are professors or staff at the college the kid is going to, the kid has a family tradition of going to that college, the kid has medical issues that require staying within a certain radius from home, the kid is majoring in something where the school matters very little (e.g. nursing or elementary education), the school had a very niche program the student is interested in, or maybe the student is just an okay student. And as for the last point, that does not make them a bad PERSON. Understand that not every child has a burning desire to make a gazillion bucks, either.

For a confident child none of this needs to be explained, not sorry if you think that's mean.

There is lots of teasing kids over this in high school. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

“Teasing” is part of high school and if your kid doesn’t have the confidence to handle it, get them outside help, or parent them, until they can. I am not sorry if you need me to explain that.

It's generally part of middle school....maybe 9th grade if the kids are stunted. Help your kids grow up and learn to treat others with respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This board is far meaner and more snarky than ANY of my kid's friends! But, there are some informative and (dare I say) kind souls on here too.

Agree! Most people in the US do not even go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many people who simply do not care about others’ feelings.

Right, instead of showing some compassion to those suffering from various insecurities, people are calling them bullies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many people who simply do not care about others’ feelings.

Right, instead of showing some compassion to those suffering from various insecurities, people are calling them bullies.

The two are not incompatible but nice try. Acknowledging the bad behavior doesn't mean there is no compassion for insecure people. Also, some bullies don't suffer from insecurity. They just enjoy the power rush from it.

[Anonymous]

An adult in my kid's life has pushed so hard for them to attend the school the adult attended that I was totally turned off.

That school seems to make adults who don't know when to shut their mouths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Op completely - my kid is planning to attend a good school, but was accepted into significantly better schools. He has been subject to so much pressure from peers and their parents that he is settling and making a big mistake. It has caused my DC great emotional distress and made him question his own decisions. I can't stand the DMV and the snobbish behavior of people - DCUM of course takes it to a completely new level!

This is happening to my kid too. Luckily, we were able to have him talk to someone in the field he is entering, and the expert on the subject gave him confidence that he was on the right course (even telling him to reach out when it was time for apply for a job), and the haters are just ignorant about his chosen path.

Same experience here. Kids judging because DC isn’t picking the highest ranked school (in their minds). Program is a great fit for DC and very well regarded. Peer group just judges based on school ranking. DC has let it roll off. The judging is a reality and a big down side of raising kids in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fear and insecurity in DC is palpable. No other place I have lived is like this. It’s like we’re the worst type of social climbers and bullies.

This. So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear and insecurity in DC is palpable. No other place I have lived is like this. It’s like we’re the worst type of social climbers and bullies.

This. So true.

+2. I’ve lived all over the country and all over the world. People in the DMV are by far the most TOXIC, perpetually anxious, shallow, self-centering bunch I’ve ever met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DC area sounds horrible! None of this is happening at our suburban Chicago high school by students or parents!!! Everyone is happy to be going to college

Thankfully DCUM does not reflect real life - in more ways than I can count.
Most people here are normal well adjusted human beings. This forum is a messed up micro-community.

+1 I live in the DMV and have never experienced anyone saying anything mean about where someone is going to college (or even if they are not going to college).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DC area sounds horrible! None of this is happening at our suburban Chicago high school by students or parents!!! Everyone is happy to be going to college

Thankfully DCUM does not reflect real life - in more ways than I can count.
Most people here are normal well adjusted human beings. This forum is a messed up micro-community.

+1 I live in the DMV and have never experienced anyone saying anything mean about where someone is going to college (or even if they are not going to college).

Me too, but there are a few magnet parents who I could imagine doing this!