Feeling sad that I don't have a daughter

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

There are things to be sad about. No one feels sorry for you and you are ridiculous. You may get too weak to be a parent. Absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not asking for pity. As I said in my original post, I love my kids. I also feel a pang of sadness over not having a daughter-mother bond.

It's not ridiculous. I'm not sure why you think so. I also don't know what the sentence "You may get too weak to be a parent" means.

Keep those son-hating thoughts to yourself.

Where did anyone say they "hated" their sons? Please, point me to the phrase: "I hate my sons." Go ahead. Please.

I agree, her whining does come off a bit that way.

There is not a trace of whininess. It is a very common, resonant sentiment that women are made to feel shame about, thanks in large part to comments like these. Support and validate women.

Blindly support and validate whatever even if ridiculous. Not sexist are you? You also hate males and sons, I see.

Feeling a pang of wistfulness or longing over not having a daughter is most certainly not ridiculous. Please think critically and with nuance: Humans contain multitudes. You can love a son but also be curious about a daughter-mother relationship. Why are you responding in such angry absolutes?

No PP. Posting about it and subsequently asking for suggestions is most ridiculous.

Subsequently? It was all in the same post, and there were many helpful replies. You're incorrect.

Oh the grammar police on here. That’s your best argument? Correcting text? By the way yours is wrong. Nice try.
Subsequently doesn’t mean she needed to have a follow up post. She said she was sad and down in the post at the end she subsequently asked for suggestions.

No argument. Please be kind. No need to become so angry about a harmless, genuine post that resonates for many.

I don’t think I would feel loved if my mother felt that way about me. Hopefully, she doesn’t tell her sons like she did on here. Yes, that post may resonate with many selfish people.

[Anonymous]

I had no preconceived notions on my children. I love them and need nothing more. Happy with what I got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope your children don’t find out they don’t fulfill you. I would hate for you to be my mother knowing that I’m not all you “need.” Terrible.

So dramatic. She didn't say her boys didn't fulfill her. And kids really aren't there to "fulfill" a parent anyways.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

There are things to be sad about. No one feels sorry for you and you are ridiculous. You may get too weak to be a parent. Absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not asking for pity. As I said in my original post, I love my kids. I also feel a pang of sadness over not having a daughter-mother bond.

It's not ridiculous. I'm not sure why you think so. I also don't know what the sentence "You may get too weak to be a parent" means.

Keep those son-hating thoughts to yourself.

Where did anyone say they "hated" their sons? Please, point me to the phrase: "I hate my sons." Go ahead. Please.

I agree, her whining does come off a bit that way.

There is not a trace of whininess. It is a very common, resonant sentiment that women are made to feel shame about, thanks in large part to comments like these. Support and validate women.

Blindly support and validate whatever even if ridiculous. Not sexist are you? You also hate males and sons, I see.

Feeling a pang of wistfulness or longing over not having a daughter is most certainly not ridiculous. Please think critically and with nuance: Humans contain multitudes. You can love a son but also be curious about a daughter-mother relationship. Why are you responding in such angry absolutes?

No PP. Posting about it and subsequently asking for suggestions is most ridiculous.

Subsequently? It was all in the same post, and there were many helpful replies. You're incorrect.

Oh the grammar police on here. That’s your best argument? Correcting text? By the way yours is wrong. Nice try.
Subsequently doesn’t mean she needed to have a follow up post. She said she was sad and down in the post at the end she subsequently asked for suggestions.

No argument. Please be kind. No need to become so angry about a harmless, genuine post that resonates for many.

I don’t think I would feel loved if my mother felt that way about me. Hopefully, she doesn’t tell her sons like she did on here. Yes, that post may resonate with many selfish people.

That's too bad. I'm sorry. You can love your children deeply and still wonder about having another; one doesn't negate or replace the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's normal. Daughters are highly desired in 2022, especially if you run in certain feminist circles who hate men (a radical feminist friend stopped speaking to me because I used to take my 4 year old son into the women's restroom). I don't know that there's a solution but you're not alone.

What the hell kind of response is this? You are a nut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parents of all girls feel it as well and I think it's normal. I have two boys as well and I definitely had to come to grips with never having a daughter since I knew were done at two. But seeing how close my boys are to one another is awesome. I am close to my brother but not like my boys are close.

As far as old age goes, we'll see. I will say that is one reason why I never gave up my career for my kids. I've always taken 9-5, flexible jobs to be with them but I never stopped working because I want to have a career to continue when they don't need me as much. Then again, my MIL quit her job to watch my kids and she's just as close to them as my mother. So you just don't know how things are going to work out. There are a lot of factors.

I will say, I am glad that I won't have the worries that come along with teen daughters. Not that teen sons are easy, I know they won't be, but teen daughters are a whole different level of worrying (mostly because of teen boys). I am very adamant about teaching my sons to respect women and to stand up for their female friends. I want my sons to be the ones that parents of teen girls depend on to keep their daughters safe.

Ugh I say all the time that I am so happy I have 2 boys!
Especially now that they are teenagers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's normal. Daughters are highly desired in 2022, especially if you run in certain feminist circles who hate men (a radical feminist friend stopped speaking to me because I used to take my 4 year old son into the women's restroom). I don't know that there's a solution but you're not alone.

What the hell kind of response is this? You are a nut.

Sounds like it, except there was literally a news article about the couple suing the fertility clinic for getting a boy. So it’s probably real except the only in those circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary-aged sons. I love them. I am also done having kids.

There's part of me that feels sad that I will never experience having a daughter, with the closeness that entails: confidences, shopping, just a closer female relationship that I see all around me. In my experience, sons don't call their moms when they grow up as much, they're not as close, they gravitate to the wife's family (if they marry), etc.

I absolutely adore my children, but there's a pang of sadness I feel for what I will never have. Is this normal? Anyone else? How can I confront/get over/feel better about it??

giiiirl you need a friend.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it. Here’s a different perspective. I have one of each and I am sad that each one doesn’t have a same sex sibling. I feel bad my daughter will never have a sister or that my son will never have a brother. Brothers and sisters aren’t as close as same sex siblings in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

There are things to be sad about. No one feels sorry for you and you are ridiculous. You may get too weak to be a parent. Absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not asking for pity. As I said in my original post, I love my kids. I also feel a pang of sadness over not having a daughter-mother bond.

It's not ridiculous. I'm not sure why you think so. I also don't know what the sentence "You may get too weak to be a parent" means.

Keep those son-hating thoughts to yourself.

Where did anyone say they "hated" their sons? Please, point me to the phrase: "I hate my sons." Go ahead. Please.

I agree, her whining does come off a bit that way.

There is not a trace of whininess. It is a very common, resonant sentiment that women are made to feel shame about, thanks in large part to comments like these. Support and validate women.

Blindly support and validate whatever even if ridiculous. Not sexist are you? You also hate males and sons, I see.

So wait, if someone ever thinks about the what-ifs or wishes for anything to be different about their life, it means they hate their life? You should be a therapist! You’ve got it all figured out!

Here’s the popular “you need to see a therapist” as a response.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and always hated shopping etc. I was always closer to my father than my mother who was disappointed that I wasn’t interested in doing those kinds of things with her. My daughter is the opposite, and I have more in common with my sons. My father and both of my grandfathers took care of their parents when the were elderly rather than their sisters. You never know how these things are going to work out.

[Anonymous]

I have two close in age daughters. I secretly wanted girls because I didn’t understand boys at all as a kid. On the flip side, I’m not that into some stereotypical feminine experiences — shopping, decorating, make up — I was never even good at braiding hair (though, I worked on that last one).

I hope your feelings will evolve over time. By the way, my least favorite thing that people say to me is “watch out when those girls become teens.” It is so much easier if you can get beyond the restrictive gender stereotypes and just see them as your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself.

This post is such bullshit. Girls bring the drama. Don't need that shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary-aged sons. I love them. I am also done having kids.

There's part of me that feels sad that I will never experience having a daughter, with the closeness that entails: confidences, shopping, just a closer female relationship that I see all around me. In my experience, sons don't call their moms when they grow up as much, they're not as close, they gravitate to the wife's family (if they marry), etc.

I absolutely adore my children, but there's a pang of sadness I feel for what I will never have. Is this normal? Anyone else? How can I confront/get over/feel better about it??

Ugh. Sexist stereotypes in 2022. Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course - it’s extremely rare that a woman doesn’t really want a daughter. It’s just not ok to say it out loud like that. It’s acceptable say silly stuff about #boymom and other silly nonsense. Rest assured those are the women that have thinly veiled their disappointment.

How asinine of you to make an ignorant blanket statement like this. Wrong.