If your AP’s spouse found out..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. No. It was complicated. If she had told my spouse he would have exposed me and her DH and that ultimately would have been more devastating to my AP’s livelihood and therefore their family. Their children would have been damaged as well from a salacious and public exposure. It was in her interest to keep it in their family. My DH never knew; I divorced anyway, for the same reasons I cheated.

Did you communicate with her, verbally or by email/text?

No. Why would I contact her, she already knew and made her decision. She made a very sensible decision to stay. Why should she lose her spouse, life, 50% custody and damage her kids over something *he* did that divorce would not change? She did the right thing IMO.

dormT prize

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. No. It was complicated. If she had told my spouse he would have exposed me and her DH and that ultimately would have been more devastating to my AP’s livelihood and therefore their family. Their children would have been damaged as well from a salacious and public exposure. It was in her interest to keep it in their family. My DH never knew; I divorced anyway, for the same reasons I cheated.

Did you communicate with her, verbally or by email/text?

No. Why would I contact her, she already knew and made her decision. She made a very sensible decision to stay. Why should she lose her spouse, life, 50% custody and damage her kids over something *he* did that divorce would not change? She did the right thing IMO.

dormT prize

Totally disagree. She stays, eventually the AP goes away. She leaves, AP gets what she wants. It’s a war of attrition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ii was the betrayed wife. When I found out, I quietly got my ducks in a row. Then I used my (then) husband's phone to post to his fb account. It was a lovely screenshot of he and AP mid-webcam chat. Sorry about the close up of your double chin and cold sore, AP. The post explained their amazing love story, complete with screenshots of texts. I tagged her in it. Turned DHs phone to silent and put a nice new PIN to unlock it. He obviously slept through AP frantically calling him, and couldn't unlock the phone anyway, so that post got to stew for a while for their hundreds of friends (and coworkers!).

APs husband eventually reached out to me for answers. We blew everything up. The star crossed lovers didn't even last 2 months after marriage separation.

Brilliant torching. Not saying I endorse or would pursue this approach, but hats off to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ii was the betrayed wife. When I found out, I quietly got my ducks in a row. Then I used my (then) husband's phone to post to his fb account. It was a lovely screenshot of he and AP mid-webcam chat. Sorry about the close up of your double chin and cold sore, AP. The post explained their amazing love story, complete with screenshots of texts. I tagged her in it. Turned DHs phone to silent and put a nice new PIN to unlock it. He obviously slept through AP frantically calling him, and couldn't unlock the phone anyway, so that post got to stew for a while for their hundreds of friends (and coworkers!).

APs husband eventually reached out to me for answers. We blew everything up. The star crossed lovers didn't even last 2 months after marriage separation.

Brilliant torching. Not saying I endorse or would pursue this approach, but hats off to you.

NP. I really want to applaud that PP's gutsy and downright creative move. I do. But in her shoes I'd forever have in the back of my mind the thought that, since nothing ever truly and absolutely dies in the electronic ether, someday the kids might see those posts. The PP said in a later posts that there are kids.

I know, DCUM, I know -- So what, and the kids should know their dad is trash, they should learn that this is what happens if you cheat, etc. Still. Not something I'd want them to stumble onto or turn up in a search.

[Anonymous]

Writing about a good friend who had some bad years. Marriage was sexless. His AP (recently divorced herself) reached out to his exwife. They tried to save the marriage but it was hopeless. He dated his AP for like 3 very tumultuous months. She brought out the best and worst in him and he was a total mess. While they were broke up he might a very pretty woman 15 years younger. They eventually got married, even though early on the AP tried to break them up. He doesn't have a great relationship with his kids from his first marriage because of all the mess everyone went through. He started a new family and they legitimately seem happy. This is a dear friend who has many good qualities but went through a bad time and took full responsibility for it, and I genuinely wish him well. His exwife moved on faster than he did, so I think there marriage was over before this happened, but unfortunately it happened so he took all the blame. The AP is still single and last we heard, alimony has run out and child support has ended and she's having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ii was the betrayed wife. When I found out, I quietly got my ducks in a row. Then I used my (then) husband's phone to post to his fb account. It was a lovely screenshot of he and AP mid-webcam chat. Sorry about the close up of your double chin and cold sore, AP. The post explained their amazing love story, complete with screenshots of texts. I tagged her in it. Turned DHs phone to silent and put a nice new PIN to unlock it. He obviously slept through AP frantically calling him, and couldn't unlock the phone anyway, so that post got to stew for a while for their hundreds of friends (and coworkers!).

APs husband eventually reached out to me for answers. We blew everything up. The star crossed lovers didn't even last 2 months after marriage separation.

Brilliant torching. Not saying I endorse or would pursue this approach, but hats off to you.

NP. I really want to applaud that PP's gutsy and downright creative move. I do. But in her shoes I'd forever have in the back of my mind the thought that, since nothing ever truly and absolutely dies in the electronic ether, someday the kids might see those posts. The PP said in a later posts that there are kids.

I know, DCUM, I know -- So what, and the kids should know their dad is trash, they should learn that this is what happens if you cheat, etc. Still. Not something I'd want them to stumble onto or turn up in a search.

Often the kids don’t see it the way the betrayed spouse does. They have seen close up whatever was going on in the marriage and they love the offending parent. It complicates their relationship with them throughout their lives. But they don’t always take the sides you expect and sometimes the conflicted loyalties result in real emotional disasters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ii was the betrayed wife. When I found out, I quietly got my ducks in a row. Then I used my (then) husband's phone to post to his fb account. It was a lovely screenshot of he and AP mid-webcam chat. Sorry about the close up of your double chin and cold sore, AP. The post explained their amazing love story, complete with screenshots of texts. I tagged her in it. Turned DHs phone to silent and put a nice new PIN to unlock it. He obviously slept through AP frantically calling him, and couldn't unlock the phone anyway, so that post got to stew for a while for their hundreds of friends (and coworkers!).

APs husband eventually reached out to me for answers. We blew everything up. The star crossed lovers didn't even last 2 months after marriage separation.

Ha ha this is AMAZING. Applause

[Anonymous]

I outed the AP to her pastor LOL. She had this whole "Bible Mom" thing going and a group of fellow Bible Moms and was active in the ministry. I emailed the pastor and told her the whole thing. AP got "counseled".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I outed the AP to her pastor LOL. She had this whole "Bible Mom" thing going and a group of fellow Bible Moms and was active in the ministry. I emailed the pastor and told her the whole thing. AP got "counseled".

It’s a case of “methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

[Anonymous]

Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

Whenever people say that it’s so ridiculous and they fail to see the irony: yep, you didn’t matter. It could have been any wet hole hard or D. You are nothing special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

It was me, so that's on me but I'm good. Thanks for your concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

Whenever people say that it’s so ridiculous and they fail to see the irony: yep, you didn’t matter. It could have been any wet hole hard or D. You are nothing special.

Totally agree with you. I was just the right hard D at the right time in her life. It was a fun weekend but special? Nope. Of course I didn't matter. You do understand affairs, right? WE weren't looking for a relationship or something that mattered. It was just sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone was just arrested in Austin for hiring hitmen to take out his AP and her BF for threatening to take their affair public.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.statesman.com/amp/6497622001

Yikes!

A friend of mine who lived in Atlanta was shot and killed in the parking lot of his kid’s daycare after he did drop off by his wife’s AP (who also happened to be her boss). My friend had found out about the affair and apparently they were talking about separating so the AP killed the husband. It was awful. To add to the tragedy the wife was only found guilty of perjury (for lying about the affair).

Was this covered by Court TV?