If your AP’s spouse found out..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone was just arrested in Austin for hiring hitmen to take out his AP and her BF for threatening to take their affair public.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.statesman.com/amp/6497622001

Yikes!

A friend of mine who lived in Atlanta was shot and killed in the parking lot of his kid’s daycare after he did drop off by his wife’s AP (who also happened to be her boss). My friend had found out about the affair and apparently they were talking about separating so the AP killed the husband. It was awful. To add to the tragedy the wife was only found guilty of perjury (for lying about the affair).

Was this covered by Court TV?

That case was covered by every major news organization (CNN, Dateline, 48 Hours, Court TV, etc). It became a pretty famous case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

Whenever people say that it’s so ridiculous and they fail to see the irony: yep, you didn’t matter. It could have been any wet hole hard or D. You are nothing special.

Totally agree with you. I was just the right hard D at the right time in her life. It was a fun weekend but special? Nope. Of course I didn't matter. You do understand affairs, right? WE weren't looking for a relationship or something that mattered. It was just sex.

That’s because you are the D and you understand that. It could have lasted much longer and you would still just be the D in your mind. The problem is 99% of Vs think it’s love and are waiting with bated breath for him to leave his wife. They can’t see that because emotion is tied up with sex for women, especially if it’s allowed to go on. A man could just walk away with zero after thought because it’s just sex. They compartmentalize in a way women can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

It was me, so that's on me but I'm good. Thanks for your concern.

As long as your fine with being just the next warm hole. All is good. Self-respect be damned.

[Anonymous]

^you’re

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.

When you post your dirty laundry on a public message board visited by thousands of people per day, they may respond as they see fit, whether or not you “request” their input. WTH do you think you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

Whenever people say that it’s so ridiculous and they fail to see the irony: yep, you didn’t matter. It could have been any wet hole hard or D. You are nothing special.

Totally agree with you. I was just the right hard D at the right time in her life. It was a fun weekend but special? Nope. Of course I didn't matter. You do understand affairs, right? WE weren't looking for a relationship or something that mattered. It was just sex.

That’s because you are the D and you understand that. It could have lasted much longer and you would still just be the D in your mind. The problem is 99% of Vs think it’s love and are waiting with bated breath for him to leave his wife. They can’t see that because emotion is tied up with sex for women, especially if it’s allowed to go on. A man could just walk away with zero after thought because it’s just sex. They compartmentalize in a way women can’t.

Every single time a statistic or percentage is quoted here, it's totally made up BS. This time by you, someone who is totally clueless on the subject. Not one of my APs fits that description or was looking for an exit affair. They all wanted to stay married along with everything that comes with that. The women in affairs you comment on are not so fragile as you think. Don't project your BS onto what I share here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one of my APs got busted by her husband and I regret what it did to them, although I'm not the cause of what drove her to cheat. If not me, it would have been someone else.

She obviously told him some lies to try and diminish what we did, or make it sound like no actual penetration was involved because he wrote to me asking me to confirm what she said.

He also threatened me and tried to ban me from ever visiting their state again. I assured him I'd never have any communication with her again but I will be visiting the area several times a year and possibly attending at least one event where he may also be. Said I'd let him know in case he doesn't want to be there.

He also threatened to tell my W but I didn't tell him, I had a pass and I'd told her all about it. Better to let him think he had that over me. That was over 10 years ago and they are still together.

It was you. That is the biggest dipshit saying out there. Such a cheater’s mental gymnastics. Yes, it’s also on your soul. Karma beware.

It was me, so that's on me but I'm good. Thanks for your concern.

As long as your fine with being just the next warm hole. All is good. Self-respect be damned.

Wow, your reading comprehension really sucks. I'm the man in this story and no, she didn't use any of my holes. I was more than happy to be the hard D to her warm holes as previously mentioned. That's how affairs work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^you’re

You're.....still an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.

When you post your dirty laundry on a public message board visited by thousands of people per day, they may respond as they see fit, whether or not you “request” their input. WTH do you think you are?

And I am allowed to respond to that person as I see fit, based on the facts and reality that I know and they don’t. I think I am the authority on my life and relationships and a better judge and reporter of both than the responder who seems herself omniscient. I know that doesn’t fit your narrative and apparently that really irks you.

[Anonymous]

And I am allowed to respond to that person as I see fit, based on the facts and reality that I know and they don’t. I think I am the authority on my life and relationships and a better judge and reporter of both than the responder who seems herself omniscient. I know that doesn’t fit your narrative and apparently that really irks you.

NP. Your posts are really snippy and you sound like you have a ton of emotional issues. You should be in therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.

When you post your dirty laundry on a public message board visited by thousands of people per day, they may respond as they see fit, whether or not you “request” their input. WTH do you think you are?

And I am allowed to respond to that person as I see fit, based on the facts and reality that I know and they don’t. I think I am the authority on my life and relationships and a better judge and reporter of both than the responder who seems herself omniscient. I know that doesn’t fit your narrative and apparently that really irks you.

True, but you're not seeing all your posts are about "you", what you were "feeling". Or going through etc. Ok we all go through things, but you still don't take any accountability of your part in getting involved in someone's marriage. It's simply wrong, and what you are feeling, or going through isn't an excuse. That's the entire point. When you state "the nature of the relationship then or since" it still says your judgement is very poor because you are apparently still in contact with this horrible man. No one is acting superior, but trying to get you to understand you're engaging in self defeating behavior in which you have all the control. I would say cut all contact with him, block him, and put him in the recycle bin where he belongs.
I truly hope you are able to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And I am allowed to respond to that person as I see fit, based on the facts and reality that I know and they don’t. I think I am the authority on my life and relationships and a better judge and reporter of both than the responder who seems herself omniscient. I know that doesn’t fit your narrative and apparently that really irks you.

NP. Your posts are really snippy and you sound like you have a ton of emotional issues. You should be in therapy.

Okay, anonymous “WTH do you think you are” poster. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.

When you post your dirty laundry on a public message board visited by thousands of people per day, they may respond as they see fit, whether or not you “request” their input. WTH do you think you are?

And I am allowed to respond to that person as I see fit, based on the facts and reality that I know and they don’t. I think I am the authority on my life and relationships and a better judge and reporter of both than the responder who seems herself omniscient. I know that doesn’t fit your narrative and apparently that really irks you.

True, but you're not seeing all your posts are about "you", what you were "feeling". Or going through etc. Ok we all go through things, but you still don't take any accountability of your part in getting involved in someone's marriage. It's simply wrong, and what you are feeling, or going through isn't an excuse. That's the entire point. When you state "the nature of the relationship then or since" it still says your judgement is very poor because you are apparently still in contact with this horrible man. No one is acting superior, but trying to get you to understand you're engaging in self defeating behavior in which you have all the control. I would say cut all contact with him, block him, and put him in the recycle bin where he belongs.
I truly hope you are able to do that.

She's Ben Affleck . Classic cheater and/or addict behavior. Mental gymnastics and always, ALWAYS blameless. It's someone else's fault they cheat or drink, etc. And, the person they cheat with is bad...not them. They have reasons.

[Anonymous]

My AP's wife did find out. He convinced her not to call my DH. My DH found out anyway (I'm an idiot) and he called her. So, now everybody knows and everybody knows that everybody knows. I suppose that's only fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP's wife did find out. He convinced her not to call my DH. My DH found out anyway (I'm an idiot) and he called her. So, now everybody knows and everybody knows that everybody knows. I suppose that's only fair.

And then what happened?