If your AP’s spouse found out..

[Anonymous]

I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She left him immediately.

And you landed the big prize of a fellow unfaithful, dishonest person? Hooray!

I landed nothing. I wasn't interested enough in him long term. He was a fling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

[Anonymous]

My AP's spouse has had so many clues and red flags over the years. Any normal person would've put it together and left him. But she's a special breed of stupid. If my AP just denies each accusation enough times, she relents and says she believes him and apologizes to him for being distrusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP's spouse has had so many clues and red flags over the years. Any normal person would've put it together and left him. But she's a special breed of stupid. If my AP just denies each accusation enough times, she relents and says she believes him and apologizes to him for being distrusting.

She’s a classic victim of gaslighting, a form of abuse which you are party to. So you can tone down the superiority just a notch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. No. It was complicated. If she had told my spouse he would have exposed me and her DH and that ultimately would have been more devastating to my AP’s livelihood and therefore their family. Their children would have been damaged as well from a salacious and public exposure. It was in her interest to keep it in their family. My DH never knew; I divorced anyway, for the same reasons I cheated.

Did you communicate with her, verbally or by email/text?

No. Why would I contact her, she already knew and made her decision. She made a very sensible decision to stay. Why should she lose her spouse, life, 50% custody and damage her kids over something *he* did that divorce would not change? She did the right thing IMO.

Well, you didn’t do the right thing —banging her husband and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP's spouse has had so many clues and red flags over the years. Any normal person would've put it together and left him. But she's a special breed of stupid. If my AP just denies each accusation enough times, she relents and says she believes him and apologizes to him for being distrusting.

She’s a classic victim of gaslighting, a form of abuse which you are party to. So you can tone down the superiority just a notch.

Yet she calls her "A special breed of stupid". Oh pp she isn't the stupid one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

Sadly you sound just like my best friend who found out her law partner she was banging was also banging 3 other people.

Soul mates/ we know each other so well/ bad timing … come on girl grow the f up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen time and time again where the AP wanst the wife to know hoping she divorces to leave him free. They always do it anonymously too so the DH doesn't blame them.

I'm surprised how many dumb married guys there are that don't think their AP would do that. One of my friends started getting hang up calls. That was the APs way to let her know. Sure enough she followed up closely.

I admit that after I stopped sleeping with my AP but we kept in touch and he kept coming on to me, while telling his wife it was long over and no contact, it was tempting to let her know. But it seemed too trashy and attention-seeking. It’s between them. It wouldn’t serve me anyway. It would just make her decision to stay harder for her, and if she left him over it he would just be angry at me.

That’s the part you thought was trashy and attention-seeking?

Sigh!

Exactly. The classier thing would have been to apologize to his wife and never contact that loser again.

At least the wife could get tested for STDs etc. Who knows who else he was sleeping with pp!

Fair point, when you don’t know the whole situation. I personally think apologizing to the wife is silly, hurtful and also attention seeking; how could I honestly apologize to her for some thing I did earnestly at the time? It’s meaningless. She knows me and knows what the situation was and why it happened. It’s enough that I resisted his ongoing repeated overtures. They can sort themselves out. STDs were not a factor in this situation. None of us has been with anybody else.

Someone that would lie and cheat on his family is someone you can't trust. You didn't know him, and he likely lied to you as well. Again you don't know if he was sleeping with anyone else, or what. There's no excuse for "why" it happened. A married person is off limits period. Their problems are their business alone, and if you heard it all through him well then again he's cheater and a liar. What he says holds no weight. Hopefully, you never go down that road again and find a nice man.

This may seem hard for you to believe, internet stranger who thinks she knows more about my life and his than we do, but I do know him, and what he was doing, and has done since. Your assumption that everyone who cheats is promiscuous trailer trash with an IQ of 70 and no insight is not correct.

No I don't think it says anything about IQ. It does say you had serious problems to lower yourself to get into that type of situation.

If you were interested romantically you could have easily told him to contact you if he's ever single. I'm thinking probably his wife truly knows him and what he is. If you know what he's done since it tells me you need to pull the plug on that loser.

Thanks Einstein. Again you don’t know the situation and mental space I was in at the time, how or why it happened, or the nature of the relationship then or since. Your sanctimonious condescension was not requested.