Questions for sahm moms
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Anonymous
Lol. I said what I said. Sorry I struck a nerve with all the lazy sahms! |
Anonymous
Why are you assuming OP can’t afford to stay at home long term? I don’t know any SAHM with a full time nanny or au pair who went back to work, and that kind of dynamic isn’t uncommon in my area. They SAH - and continue to SAH. |
Anonymous
I really don’t get this. The idea that life is supposed to just be one long slog where you work yourself to the bone as some kind of badge of honor. If you can find a way to make it such that you and your children are happier and more relaxed then good for you. |
Anonymous
You just clearly have no idea what it’s like to stay home with kids, especially 3 or more. Are supervisors at work “lazy” when they have employees to do some of their work? |
Anonymous
So kids are like employees now? |
Anonymous
Well, like it or not, someone has to slog and that person is probably the OP’s husband who is likely banging someone on the side. |
Anonymous
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I think this would be a great setup, and this is coming from someone who was a SAHM to kids with the exact same age spacing. The only real difference is that we also moved cross country when the youngest was a newborn, but I guess in a way that's a similarity because I was also in the boat of trying to make new friends.
I don't think it would be weird to join a baby group with your third. I think it would be a great use of time with your nanny, since she can keep the other two busy/active while you get a little time to sit around with sweet non-mobile babies. Just don't let yourself become "expert mom" since it's not your first time at the rodeo. Are your big kids in 1/2 day preschool? I'd highly recommend doing that if you aren't already. The closer to your home the better... and it will be easier for you to connect with other parents if it is a 1/2 day program and not full day. In terms of making friends, I'd probably choose to keep the nanny separate from the playdates you might have with the older kids rather than having all 5 of you show up to a park playdate. Another great thing about your nanny situation would be the ability to be flexible after a kid class. So if people are going to a playground after kindermusik, you don't need to run home to put the baby down for a nap. Looking ahead to elementary school, my biggest recommendation is that you live within walking distance to the school. You'll be more connected to the community and it's much less of a hot mess to get your group there/back if you can walk. The one other thing I'd consider if I were you is to see if your nanny could work at least one day to include putting the kids down. I personally would get myself out of the house during that time. You could meet up with a friend or take yourself to dinner or, I don't know, just read a magazine sitting in your car quietly. Anything to preserve a little of that time for yourself. In terms of holding on to who you are... not going to lie, that's tough. I'd recommend finding a hobby. This may sound insane because I'm sure you have very little time. But even if it's like ... houseplants. Read about them. Find a podcast and learn more about them. Have your routine where you take care of them. This can obviously be watercolors or photography or woodworking or learning a new language or whatever appeals to you. Just SOMETHING that is non mom or wife-related. It doesn't really matter what it is. |
Anonymous
Stop embarrassing yourself, PP. Pretending the contrary makes you look childish and stupid. And only old women use “lol” anymore. |
Anonymous
| I think women who say they wouldn't hire help if they could are fooling themselves. It's out of my budget, OP, so I wouldn't judge. I SAH with two kids and would be your friend as long as the disparity in SES wouldn't bug you. |
Anonymous
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Ignore the idiot posters who don’t - and could never - understand what being a SAHM with a nanny looks like. One poster keeps going back to “ you’re lazy” because she’s jealous and tired.
Being a SAHM with a nanny affords my children, husband and myself the best possible life with the most advantages. |
Anonymous
Seriously. This is awesome. Also, pretty much everyone who can really afford this does it. There’s a reason rich people have nannies around the clock-because it’s wonderful! And this isn’t even close to that. You’ll be so glad for this arrangement especially during those times when your kids are sick, you’re sick, or someone is going through a sleep regression. |
Anonymous
You obviously don’t know any wealthy SAHMs. DH earns a seven figure income. I am Ivy educated, have two masters and had a successful career. I enjoy spending time with my children. Many wealthy SAHMs have multiple children and have help. This is not new. |
Anonymous
Yes, pp is absolutely embarrassing herself. Moms are allowed to be exhausted and overwhelmed. I think every mom I have ever met is tired. It doesn’t matter if you have one kid or five kids. Perhaps the pp has 2 easy kids. Who knows. Every twin mom, 2 under 2 or mom of 3+ kids wants or needs some help. My husband has a very demanding job. We can easily afford help and we have it. |
Anonymous
Are you drunk? No, the nanny is the employee, and the children are the work. |
Anonymous
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Sounds idilic for the parents and kids - especially those who have pre-school teacher nannies or nannies who can teach the child something they wouldn’t learn from the parents. I would love more one-on-one time with my older child who always seems to get short-changed by the baby’s needs.
No need for TV or pre-made food would both be lovely, too. |