Driving teenagers from a party to another house after they have been drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be congratulated on raising a conscientious son who didn’t get sloppy drunk, didn’t hang out with friends who did, didn’t drive drunk and trusted you enough to come pick them up. I hope my son would do the same. Good job Mom.

I kind of agree with this. It would be one thing if you were driving them around to house parties, but you took them "home" to sleep. It's almost November, if this happened in April or May I would have far less hesitation. You can also have a discussion with your son about it and tell him that don't condone the drinking but praise the responsible behavior - even though it required involving you. And ask him if he's comfortable about his relationship with alcohol. Ask him if he would have made different choices in other circumstances. Keep the communication open for other issues that may be coming through other than teens having a couple of beers.

A++

I agree completely. This is a complicated situation, and the conversation you suggest is perfect. The primary goal is to keep our kids safe, of course, but as they get older and closer to leaving home (and beyond), a close second is to help them learn to look at all aspects of a situation and make their own good decisions.

Yes, I’m sure there are some 17 year old kids who are more mature and/or less on need of parental help understanding the various considerations in life. But most are not there yet. That’s our job - not to make the decisions for them, but to help them ask the right questions and develop more adult judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

And the crime is…???

I don't know she knowingly transported a drunk minor to a different party maybe negligience maybe contributing to deliquency of a minor. I don't know. I'm sure they can come up with something, especially if they go through text messages.

First, she did not contribute to the delinquency of a minor. Look up this offense before making random stuff up. Also, she would have to knowingly transport them to another party. As far as she was aware, they were going to sleep.

Okay mom of drunk teens you d rive your baby drunks to another house and if something happens to another kid at the house due to your kid or his friends or God forbid something happens to your kid or the friends you see how quickly bits if information drip out and you write back and tell us how you got off Scott free.

[Anonymous]

Did we hear what happened to the drunk girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

And the crime is…???

I don't know she knowingly transported a drunk minor to a different party maybe negligience maybe contributing to deliquency of a minor. I don't know. I'm sure they can come up with something, especially if they go through text messages.

First, she did not contribute to the delinquency of a minor. Look up this offense before making random stuff up. Also, she would have to knowingly transport them to another party. As far as she was aware, they were going to sleep.

catastrophic thinking is a mental disorder. You have it.

Okay mom of drunk teens you d rive your baby drunks to another house and if something happens to another kid at the house due to your kid or his friends or God forbid something happens to your kid or the friends you see how quickly bits if information drip out and you write back and tell us how you got off Scott free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

And the crime is…???

I don't know she knowingly transported a drunk minor to a different party maybe negligience maybe contributing to deliquency of a minor. I don't know. I'm sure they can come up with something, especially if they go through text messages.

First, she did not contribute to the delinquency of a minor. Look up this offense before making random stuff up. Also, she would have to knowingly transport them to another party. As far as she was aware, they were going to sleep.

Okay mom of drunk teens you d rive your baby drunks to another house and if something happens to another kid at the house due to your kid or his friends or God forbid something happens to your kid or the friends you see how quickly bits if information drip out and you write back and tell us how you got off Scott free.

catastrophic thinking is a mental disorder. You have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the number of people okay with having drunk teens dropped off at their house.

Agree. Posters need to flip the script on this one. You told your child he could have friends spend the night. OP drops them off and drives away, they stumble in, and you realize, crap! I have a house full of underaged intoxicated kids. Now what?

Worse, you didn't give permission, and you aren't even home, but there are bunch of drunk teens "sleeping" at your house.

I would call op and the other parents to come pick the kids up. Those kids may or may not be allowed over my house anymore and my kid would be finding himself with a lot less free time.

And if Op wanted to take her sweet time about getting to my house I'd call the cops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the number of people okay with having drunk teens dropped off at their house.

Agree. Posters need to flip the script on this one. You told your child he could have friends spend the night. OP drops them off and drives away, they stumble in, and you realize, crap! I have a house full of underaged intoxicated kids. Now what?

Worse, you didn't give permission, and you aren't even home, but there are bunch of drunk teens "sleeping" at your house.

Tipsy is different than drunk, to me. But maybe the OP is downplaying how much they had.

Tipsy is drunk and there's no legal amount of alcohol for a minor.

This is the bottom line. And who exactly provided the alcohol to minors?

They all have fake IDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

And the crime is…???

I don't know she knowingly transported a drunk minor to a different party maybe negligience maybe contributing to deliquency of a minor. I don't know. I'm sure they can come up with something, especially if they go through text messages.

First, she did not contribute to the delinquency of a minor. Look up this offense before making random stuff up. Also, she would have to knowingly transport them to another party. As far as she was aware, they were going to sleep.

Okay mom of drunk teens you d rive your baby drunks to another house and if something happens to another kid at the house due to your kid or his friends or God forbid something happens to your kid or the friends you see how quickly bits if information drip out and you write back and tell us how you got off Scott free.

catastrophic thinking is a mental disorder. You have it.

Not thinking like an adult and trying to be a cool mom leads to catastrophes you and your kids can't get out of with sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would have driven them to my house to sober up, tipsy is still drunk and then considered bringing them to the other sleepover later.

I would not have driven them to the other house knowing they were not sober, especially when the odds are they would continue drinking there.

Exactly.

+2 this is the obvious answer for me. Glad they called and didn't drive but no I would not be bringing them to another party drunk. Actions do have consequences maybe I would drop them off later if sober maybe they miss out and we'd be having a discussion about that and .maybe missing party 2 would cause them to think twice about drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the number of people okay with having drunk teens dropped off at their house.

Agree. Posters need to flip the script on this one. You told your child he could have friends spend the night. OP drops them off and drives away, they stumble in, and you realize, crap! I have a house full of underaged intoxicated kids. Now what?

Worse, you didn't give permission, and you aren't even home, but there are bunch of drunk teens "sleeping" at your house.

Tipsy is different than drunk, to me. But maybe the OP is downplaying how much they had.

Tipsy is drunk and there's no legal amount of alcohol for a minor.

This is the bottom line. And who exactly provided the alcohol to minors?

They all have fake IDs

Not likely look at half the parents in the thread would be happy to provide alcohol.

But I agree further questions need to be asked.

[Anonymous]

The fact that OP is using the word "tipsy" for 17 year olds who have their own cars pretty much tells us all we need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sad for parents who feel like they have to act okay with this.

Yeah, much better to punish them and ensure that next time, they get in the car drunk to avoid your wrath.

Not punish. Just not allow them at that particular house again. And keep a closer eye on those friends. It’s disgusting how people try to normalize teen drinking. I did not drink as a teen and had plenty of friends who did not either.

So you never had a drink even in college as a freshman or sophomore when you are still a teen?

There are many, many people who did recreational drinking in the late teen years and nothing much came from it and they are not adults with a drinking problem. That would be...every single person I was friends with in college. There is some middle ground here. Talk to your kids about how to be responsible with alcohol.

This is kind of the equivalent of only pushing sex abstinence to me. Just disconnected from reality and doing more harm than good.

I personally see a huge difference between HS and college and also between a custodial parent condoning them behavior and an independent adult doing it away from home.

You do you! But it’s false to assume all teens graduate HS drinking on the regular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer that the teens called a parent like you then get into an Uber. Lots of criminal behavior happens with bad uber drivers or people who pretend to be uber drivers.

If it was a group of girls or your drunk daughter would you ask her to call an Uber or a parent?

Uber was fined $59 million bc of its sexual assault data. Thousands a year, I would not put an impaired teen ager in a gig car.

Same. Also remember Jesse Matthews. Cabs are not better either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you collect all their car keys?
Did you tell the parents at the house where you dropped them off?
Were there sober and aware adults at the house where you left the impaired teenagers?

The missing piece here is that just getting him to call instead of drive is a win, but not the end game. They call you so you can get them home safely and praise them for calling.

This isn't about "punishing them" as other posters are saying. But when you left them, they were impaired and not safely home. This is why you are feeling uneasy and asking if you did the right thing. Your gut is telling you you didn't. Why is that? Were you up all night hoping they stayed where you left them and didn't drink more?

So, they weren't all safely home, and you dumped a liability onto the other parents without telling them. Were they even home? Anything could have happened after that, and you were the adult in charge who could have prevented it. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think you already know this is why you are feeling uneasy.

I personally think "adult in charge" probably isn't the best way of thinking about late teens your primary role should be guidance at this point

[Anonymous]

Some kids just aren't really to go away to college.