Driving teenagers from a party to another house after they have been drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be furious if you picked up my child who you knew were drinking, move them to a different house to drink more and didn't contact me. That is irresponsible. If my kid is drinking, I will get them and take care of them. What if a child got really sick and died from alcohol poisoning.

This. Or if your child injured someone else while intoxicated or even was accused of having done something wrong while intoxicated. They could have been home in their own bed instead of in a house of drunk teens.

This I'm not sure what people aren't understanding. It's good the boys called. It's good OP came and picked them up. It was a dumb move on her part to bring them to the other party.

She could have kept them at her house, and I would have been fine with that, that's not a punishment that being an adult and looking out for the well-being of kids.

Yes, its good she got them. But, she should drive them each home or bring them to her home and have the parents pick them up not drive them to another party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be furious if you picked up my child who you knew were drinking, move them to a different house to drink more and didn't contact me. That is irresponsible. If my kid is drinking, I will get them and take care of them. What if a child got really sick and died from alcohol poisoning.

This. Or if your child injured someone else while intoxicated or even was accused of having done something wrong while intoxicated. They could have been home in their own bed instead of in a house of drunk teens.

This I'm not sure what people aren't understanding. It's good the boys called. It's good OP came and picked them up. It was a dumb move on her part to bring them to the other party.

She could have kept them at her house, and I would have been fine with that, that's not a punishment that being an adult and looking out for the well-being of kids.

+1. Why transport them somewhere else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be congratulated on raising a conscientious son who didn’t get sloppy drunk, didn’t hang out with friends who did, didn’t drive drunk and trusted you enough to come pick them up. I hope my son would do the same. Good job Mom.

Op I agree with this. Your son said “I’ll call mom/dad... they are cool” and trusted you to drive without lecture.
Good call. You did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

I hope they can find safe alternative arrangements, because they won’t call you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

I hope they can find safe alternative arrangements, because they won’t call you.

+`1

NP here. One of the biggest keys is avoiding drunk driving. Some of these posters have zero common sense.

I would not have driven them to another party.

I would have driven them home or to one house, together, safe from any more drinking.

You want your kid to be able to call you for a ride, any time, if they need you.

God forbid they get into a car with a drunk driver.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Drinking is not morally wrong.

There is a huge difference between laws and morals

You don't think it is immoral to violate a law that is itself not immoral? Or do you think the legal drinking age is immoral and should be protested by teen drinking until it is abolished?

Legal and moral are different.

The legal drinking age has changed over the year.

It’s not moral or immoral to drink. It has nothing to do with laws.

It’s legal to beat a suspect in custody, moral?
It’s illegal to go 45 in a 40, moral?

You are trying so, so hard to justify children violating laws, abetted by their parents. Why? Yes, lots of kids drink, but they don't pretend it isn't illegal or that violating the law isn't wrong.

Nobody said it’s not illegal, it’s not immoral.

It’s not illegal to bang your neighbors wife but it is immoral.

You have clearly never studied ethics.

Intentionally breaking the law when the law itself isn't immoral is immoral. Helping and covering for children to break the law is immoral. Helping minors destroy their longterm health is immoral

Breaking the law isn’t immoral. Most laws are arbitrary in nature and about controlling the population.
https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2016/04/08/practical-vs-moral-approaches-to-behaviors-deemed-problematic/

The author you cite agrees that Americans generally believe that violating a just law is immoral. She just thinks laws should be easier to change, and if we weren't so hung up on obeying the law as a good in itself, we could ignore more laws without penalty instead of changing them. (In fact we do, but she ignores that).

We are not conflating malum in se with malum prohibitum. We are saying that morality extends to obeying laws. Violating a law is malum in se even if the law is about something that is not immoral in and of itself. The author argues that this means one must believe that "changing a law means allowing something immoral to be legal." Wrong. Changing a law means the behavior is no longer malum prohibitum.

And I’m sure you never, ever, ever exceed the speed limit.

Perhaps I've done far worse? That's irrelevant to the discussion, of course.

[Anonymous]

Can someone link a study that shows that parents picking up their drunk teen and friends and not communicating it to their parents prevents drunk driving incidents and accidents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

I hope they can find safe alternative arrangements, because they won’t call you.

+`1

NP here. One of the biggest keys is avoiding drunk driving. Some of these posters have zero common sense.

I would not have driven them to another party.

I would have driven them home or to one house, together, safe from any more drinking.

You want your kid to be able to call you for a ride, any time, if they need you.

God forbid they get into a car with a drunk driver.

As a parent I would want to know my kid was drinking, not because I want to punish them, but because we have a history of alcoholism in my family, so a teen drinking or getting drunk is a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

I hope they can find safe alternative arrangements, because they won’t call you.

+`1

NP here. One of the biggest keys is avoiding drunk driving. Some of these posters have zero common sense.

I would not have driven them to another party.

I would have driven them home or to one house, together, safe from any more drinking.

You want your kid to be able to call you for a ride, any time, if they need you.

God forbid they get into a car with a drunk driver.

As a parent I would want to know my kid was drinking, not because I want to punish them, but because we have a history of alcoholism in my family, so a teen drinking or getting drunk is a big deal.

Then you should be watching out and not expect another parent to inform you. Know what your kid is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone link a study that shows that parents picking up their drunk teen and friends and not communicating it to their parents prevents drunk driving incidents and accidents?

Do you lack all common sense?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the number of people okay with having drunk teens dropped off at their house.

Agree. Posters need to flip the script on this one. You told your child he could have friends spend the night. OP drops them off and drives away, they stumble in, and you realize, crap! I have a house full of underaged intoxicated kids. Now what?

Worse, you didn't give permission, and you aren't even home, but there are bunch of drunk teens "sleeping" at your house.

Tipsy is different than drunk, to me. But maybe the OP is downplaying how much they had.

Tipsy is drunk and there's no legal amount of alcohol for a minor.

This is the bottom line. And who exactly provided the alcohol to minors?

They all have fake IDs

Not likely look at half the parents in the thread would be happy to provide alcohol.

But I agree further questions need to be asked.

Not one person said they would provide alcohol.

Y'all are cool with teens getin drunk , going to parties to get drunk, think it's great prenting to drive drunk teens to another party, I;m sure you have no issue serving alcohol.

Speaking of getting drunk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.