Driving teenagers from a party to another house after they have been drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone link a study that shows that parents picking up their drunk teen and friends and not communicating it to their parents prevents drunk driving incidents and accidents?

Do you lack all common sense?

So you can't and I expect it's like the oft-repeated lie that teaching your kids to drink at home or allowing them to drink at home prevents binge or excessive drinking in college even though the actually research shows the opposite effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others she should not have taken them to another party. I’m also not keep their secrets from their parents.

I hope they can find safe alternative arrangements, because they won’t call you.

+`1

NP here. One of the biggest keys is avoiding drunk driving. Some of these posters have zero common sense.

I would not have driven them to another party.

I would have driven them home or to one house, together, safe from any more drinking.

You want your kid to be able to call you for a ride, any time, if they need you.

God forbid they get into a car with a drunk driver.

As a parent I would want to know my kid was drinking, not because I want to punish them, but because we have a history of alcoholism in my family, so a teen drinking or getting drunk is a big deal.

Then you should be watching out and not expect another parent to inform you. Know what your kid is doing.

Such a cop put, pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

It's a tough call, but one that I have recently navigated. I don't think driving them is the same as supplying alcohol or allowing them to openly drink in your home. I would have driven them, but not done the other two. You have to decide: Do you want to know when they are drinking or do you want to be in the dark? I felt better able to keep my kid safe if she felt able to tell me when she didn't want to drive. I'm certain she didn't tell me everything, but she could ask for a ride somewhere without me saying "why. . . are you drinking, then you can't go to that party on Homecoming night." She knows I don't condone underage drinking, but I'm not going freak out if she has a drink senior year on homecoming/prom night. I have friends that supply alcohol to their now college kids, and party with them on vacation. No fing way I would do that. I will tell you, there are kids of very strict parents that are the heaviest drinkers, host parties when their parents are out of town, end up 18 in the ER and call a friends' parents rather than their own. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to know what's going on.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

It's a tough call, but one that I have recently navigated. I don't think driving them is the same as supplying alcohol or allowing them to openly drink in your home. I would have driven them, but not done the other two. You have to decide: Do you want to know when they are drinking or do you want to be in the dark? I felt better able to keep my kid safe if she felt able to tell me when she didn't want to drive. I'm certain she didn't tell me everything, but she could ask for a ride somewhere without me saying "why. . . are you drinking, then you can't go to that party on Homecoming night." She knows I don't condone underage drinking, but I'm not going freak out if she has a drink senior year on homecoming/prom night. I have friends that supply alcohol to their now college kids, and party with them on vacation. No fing way I would do that. I will tell you, there are kids of very strict parents that are the heaviest drinkers, host parties when their parents are out of town, end up 18 in the ER and call a friends' parents rather than their own. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to know what's going on.?

You actually do condone her drinking, and the bold is false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

She is encouraging it. YOu call me drunk. I'll bring you to a party. This may be the first time, but it definitely won't be the last and I would bet my salary her son ends up in rehab before he graduates college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

Yes, calm and rational thinking, not I want to be a cool mom so I'll drive my drunk kids and his friends to a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

She is encouraging it. YOu call me drunk. I'll bring you to a party. This may be the first time, but it definitely won't be the last and I would bet my salary her son ends up in rehab before he graduates college.

Honestly I would guess your child is going to be the binge drinker before her child ends up in rehab. The kids with super strict parents are always the ones who go wild in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

It's a tough call, but one that I have recently navigated. I don't think driving them is the same as supplying alcohol or allowing them to openly drink in your home. I would have driven them, but not done the other two. You have to decide: Do you want to know when they are drinking or do you want to be in the dark? I felt better able to keep my kid safe if she felt able to tell me when she didn't want to drive. I'm certain she didn't tell me everything, but she could ask for a ride somewhere without me saying "why. . . are you drinking, then you can't go to that party on Homecoming night." She knows I don't condone underage drinking, but I'm not going freak out if she has a drink senior year on homecoming/prom night. I have friends that supply alcohol to their now college kids, and party with them on vacation. No fing way I would do that. I will tell you, there are kids of very strict parents that are the heaviest drinkers, host parties when their parents are out of town, end up 18 in the ER and call a friends' parents rather than their own. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to know what's going on.?

100%!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

She is encouraging it. YOu call me drunk. I'll bring you to a party. This may be the first time, but it definitely won't be the last and I would bet my salary her son ends up in rehab before he graduates college.

I’m curious how old your child/children are?
You seem to not have real experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

It's a tough call, but one that I have recently navigated. I don't think driving them is the same as supplying alcohol or allowing them to openly drink in your home. I would have driven them, but not done the other two. You have to decide: Do you want to know when they are drinking or do you want to be in the dark? I felt better able to keep my kid safe if she felt able to tell me when she didn't want to drive. I'm certain she didn't tell me everything, but she could ask for a ride somewhere without me saying "why. . . are you drinking, then you can't go to that party on Homecoming night." She knows I don't condone underage drinking, but I'm not going freak out if she has a drink senior year on homecoming/prom night. I have friends that supply alcohol to their now college kids, and party with them on vacation. No fing way I would do that. I will tell you, there are kids of very strict parents that are the heaviest drinkers, host parties when their parents are out of town, end up 18 in the ER and call a friends' parents rather than their own. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to know what's going on.?

You actually do condone her drinking, and the bold is false.

Well, I'm not going to name her. Didn't run in my DD's cricles in HS, but I knew the parents from ES. I considered telling them what I'd heard (parties at their house when they were at the beach at which kids were drinking so heavily that their friends who at that time only had drivers' permits drove them to the hospital and left them there, huge bottles of vodka attempted to be snuck in to other ppl's houses, girl sneaking out of another parents home to that had hosted a sleepover but forbidden the girls from leaving and returning to prevent them from sneaking alcohol in), but another mom told me the DD considered her parents' abusive and was frigthened of them if they learned of her antics, so I kept my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you needed to overreact but you should have driven them to their homes, not to another party. Yes you could be liable.

But liable for what? She served them no alcohol. If an Uber car drove them, is the Uber driver liable?

This was the OP's question. I agree, there's no obvious risk of liability here. I also think those that are saying, don't punisht them, but just bring them all home are failing to recognize that doing so would have the same impact as a "punishtment." They only other thing I think would have been a good idea, is to confirm there was an adult present at the second house and to text that adult saying "I think there may have been some alchohol cosumed by some in this group. . ." That said, I've had a 17 year old, and it's perfectly normal for kids this age to make their own plans and for parents to not have each other's numbers. In this situation, you could have insisted on parental contact. But I don't think not doing so opens you up to any liability. I don't think every adult that runs across underage drinkers has a legal obligaiton to intervene to stop them from drinkning.

And bringing them to the party when they are drunk is the same as condoning teen drinking and encouraging it. And we aren't talking about every adult, we're talking about a parent of one of the drunk teens and his friends.

And by sending that text she's admitting she knew the teens were drunk

It's a tough call, but one that I have recently navigated. I don't think driving them is the same as supplying alcohol or allowing them to openly drink in your home. I would have driven them, but not done the other two. You have to decide: Do you want to know when they are drinking or do you want to be in the dark? I felt better able to keep my kid safe if she felt able to tell me when she didn't want to drive. I'm certain she didn't tell me everything, but she could ask for a ride somewhere without me saying "why. . . are you drinking, then you can't go to that party on Homecoming night." She knows I don't condone underage drinking, but I'm not going freak out if she has a drink senior year on homecoming/prom night. I have friends that supply alcohol to their now college kids, and party with them on vacation. No fing way I would do that. I will tell you, there are kids of very strict parents that are the heaviest drinkers, host parties when their parents are out of town, end up 18 in the ER and call a friends' parents rather than their own. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to know what's going on.?

You actually do condone her drinking, and the bold is false.

Well, I'm not going to name her. Didn't run in my DD's cricles in HS, but I knew the parents from ES. I considered telling them what I'd heard (parties at their house when they were at the beach at which kids were drinking so heavily that their friends who at that time only had drivers' permits drove them to the hospital and left them there, huge bottles of vodka attempted to be snuck in to other ppl's houses, girl sneaking out of another parents home to that had hosted a sleepover but forbidden the girls from leaving and returning to prevent them from sneaking alcohol in), but another mom told me the DD considered her parents' abusive and was frigthened of them if they learned of her antics, so I kept my mouth shut.

The studies say otherwise, You can live in denial all you want to, pp. But you are condoning your daughter drinking. and the majority of kids with parents who are strict with alcohol aren't throwing booe parties and ending up the ER, but keep telling yourself whatever you need to to justify allowing your 17 year old to get drunk on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

+1000

- 1000 now he'll just continue to get drunk at parties and have OP be his chauffeur to the next event.

….. Which is better than driving drunk to the next event.

A teenager regularly getting drunk and a mom who encourages it is not better for anyone.

You go from 0 to 100 in a second.
Parenting teenagers requires calm and rational thinking. Not this crazy anxiousness.
OPs kid has done this once and she in no way encouraged it. You’re making stuff up.

She is encouraging it. YOu call me drunk. I'll bring you to a party. This may be the first time, but it definitely won't be the last and I would bet my salary her son ends up in rehab before he graduates college.

I’m curious how old your child/children are?
You seem to not have real experience.

You know your stance is poor when you resort to you can't have kids because you disagree with me. I'll do you one better though, I work with adults who have substance abuse mainly issues with alcohol and every single one of them have a parent like you who don't see a big deal with teens drinking regularly, who think the end of the matter is that they called, and nothing further should happen because they might drink and drive. They also all have multiple DUIs.