Driving teenagers from a party to another house after they have been drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's true that you don't want to encourage secrecy, and you want them to trust you enough that they call you. At the same time, you don't want them drinking too much!

You're not in legal trouble, OP, since you don't have "evidence" they were drinking. No bottles, no vomit, no nothing. And police probably won't bother themselves for teens who drink quietly, don't wake up the neighbors, don't drive drunk and call their parent instead...

But I know how you feel. It's not *right*. At the same, good job parenting the child who called you

Thank you. I’ve always tried to be open. A few years ago at our high school a couple of seniors died in a car accident while driving drunk. I used that as a lesson and it appears it hit home. . I am now going to put the Uber app on his phone so I’m not in the situation again. I’d rather have an Uber pick him up than me, if it is a group.

[Anonymous]

I think you should be congratulated on raising a conscientious son who didn’t get sloppy drunk, didn’t hang out with friends who did, didn’t drive drunk and trusted you enough to come pick them up. I hope my son would do the same. Good job Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be congratulated on raising a conscientious son who didn’t get sloppy drunk, didn’t hang out with friends who did, didn’t drive drunk and trusted you enough to come pick them up. I hope my son would do the same. Good job Mom.

I kind of agree with this. It would be one thing if you were driving them around to house parties, but you took them "home" to sleep. It's almost November, if this happened in April or May I would have far less hesitation. You can also have a discussion with your son about it and tell him that don't condone the drinking but praise the responsible behavior - even though it required involving you. And ask him if he's comfortable about his relationship with alcohol. Ask him if he would have made different choices in other circumstances. Keep the communication open for other issues that may be coming through other than teens having a couple of beers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. And I would just let it be. That way your DS will continue to call you in these situations. Otherwise he would be drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who was drinking.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true that you don't want to encourage secrecy, and you want them to trust you enough that they call you. At the same time, you don't want them drinking too much!

You're not in legal trouble, OP, since you don't have "evidence" they were drinking. No bottles, no vomit, no nothing. And police probably won't bother themselves for teens who drink quietly, don't wake up the neighbors, don't drive drunk and call their parent instead...

But I know how you feel. It's not *right*. At the same, good job parenting the child who called you

Thank you. I’ve always tried to be open. A few years ago at our high school a couple of seniors died in a car accident while driving drunk. I used that as a lesson and it appears it hit home. . I am now going to put the Uber app on his phone so I’m not in the situation again. I’d rather have an Uber pick him up than me, if it is a group.

Using Uber like this is a key skill needed for college.

[Anonymous]

I would prefer that the teens called a parent like you then get into an Uber. Lots of criminal behavior happens with bad uber drivers or people who pretend to be uber drivers.

If it was a group of girls or your drunk daughter would you ask her to call an Uber or a parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start again, OP... You sound confused.

Sorry. I use voice text. Starting over. Last weekend, my son called me to pick him and his friends up from a party and then I drove them to another house where they spent the night. They were definitely tipsy. So in fact, I became like a designated driver. All the boys are 17 and have their own cars but they chose not to drive which is why they called me. After I dropped them off and came home I started thinking about it and wondered would I be liable for anything for driving them from the party to the other house. While they were tipsy, nobody appeared drunk or out of control. I have had Conversations with my son about drinking and he knows I prefer he does not, but as a senior in high school I realize that every once in a while he will have drinks. Definitely not every weekend. I stressed to him to not ever drink and drive, which is why I know he called me. I drove a group of boys not just him.

Am curious what happened to the tipsy girls who were there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start again, OP... You sound confused.

Sorry. I use voice text. Starting over. Last weekend, my son called me to pick him and his friends up from a party and then I drove them to another house where they spent the night. They were definitely tipsy. So in fact, I became like a designated driver. All the boys are 17 and have their own cars but they chose not to drive which is why they called me. After I dropped them off and came home I started thinking about it and wondered would I be liable for anything for driving them from the party to the other house. While they were tipsy, nobody appeared drunk or out of control. I have had Conversations with my son about drinking and he knows I prefer he does not, but as a senior in high school I realize that every once in a while he will have drinks. Definitely not every weekend. I stressed to him to not ever drink and drive, which is why I know he called me. I drove a group of boys not just him.

Am curious what happened to the tipsy girls who were there.

I hope they called a parent as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer that the teens called a parent like you then get into an Uber. Lots of criminal behavior happens with bad uber drivers or people who pretend to be uber drivers.

If it was a group of girls or your drunk daughter would you ask her to call an Uber or a parent?

These kids are in college next year, they need to learn Uber.

Boys and girls… don’t ride alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son asked me to pick up him and his friends from my house party at midnight and drive them to another friends house where they all slept over. I could tell that they had been drinking. But nobody was sloppy drunk. I need to know, can I get in trouble for anything? I was not the one who gave them the drinks. I just picked them up and noticed they were all tipsy. I drove them to the house when they were all going to do the sleepover and then went home. By the way all the boys are 17 and seniors in high school. I felt very uncomfortable

Would you have been happy if another parent had picked up the boys knowing they had been drinking? I'd be furious. And I would have dropped them all off at their homes and made a report regarding whomever served them alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I think I would have driven them to my house to sober up, tipsy is still drunk and then considered bringing them to the other sleepover later.

I would not have driven them to the other house knowing they were not sober, especially when the odds are they would continue drinking there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer that the teens called a parent like you then get into an Uber. Lots of criminal behavior happens with bad uber drivers or people who pretend to be uber drivers.

If it was a group of girls or your drunk daughter would you ask her to call an Uber or a parent?

OP here. Good point. I have a daughter as well in high school, A little younger, she does not drink (she and I have spoken, she said she has tasted alcohol but she does not like the taste) but if she does,you are on the mark that I would probably prefer to have her call me and then an Uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true that you don't want to encourage secrecy, and you want them to trust you enough that they call you. At the same time, you don't want them drinking too much!

You're not in legal trouble, OP, since you don't have "evidence" they were drinking. No bottles, no vomit, no nothing. And police probably won't bother themselves for teens who drink quietly, don't wake up the neighbors, don't drive drunk and call their parent instead...

But I know how you feel. It's not *right*. At the same, good job parenting the child who called you

Thank you. I’ve always tried to be open. A few years ago at our high school a couple of seniors died in a car accident while driving drunk. I used that as a lesson and it appears it hit home. . I am now going to put the Uber app on his phone so I’m not in the situation again. I’d rather have an Uber pick him up than me, if it is a group.

You are both absolutely foolish to think nothing could happen to OP or the boys legally if heaven forbid something happened at the next party. Don't for a second think that the "tipsy" part wouldn't come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would have driven them to my house to sober up, tipsy is still drunk and then considered bringing them to the other sleepover later.

I would not have driven them to the other house knowing they were not sober, especially when the odds are they would continue drinking there.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer that the teens called a parent like you then get into an Uber. Lots of criminal behavior happens with bad uber drivers or people who pretend to be uber drivers.

If it was a group of girls or your drunk daughter would you ask her to call an Uber or a parent?

OP here. Good point. I have a daughter as well in high school, A little younger, she does not drink (she and I have spoken, she said she has tasted alcohol but she does not like the taste) but if she does,you are on the mark that I would probably prefer to have her call me and then an Uber.

Teenage boys can be at risk to predatory Uber drivers too. And you really need to wake up your 17 year old sone drinks and your daughter who is 14-15 years old is drinking too total BS she doesn't like the taste.