Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

TOTALLY DISAGREE. This is exactly how mean girl behavior is enabled. These girls are 12, not 17.

I feel like the moms advocating this have never been excluded.
OP Kids talk, they post on social media...Kid B (and mom) will find out.

So she talks to the other Mom and then what? You think that will change the kid or Mom’s mind? Your daughter now looks weak and babyish and the excluding will get worse.

Depends on the mom and how well you know her. If someone told me my DD was being a little jerk, it would be handled. And my DD wouldn’t do it again, I promise you.

[Anonymous]

I would have my child hang out with the excluded kid. With covid, no large parties. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would never in a million years drop my D off at a party where she wasn’t wanted. Girl B needs to do her own thing and hold her head high. If I heard this story from my daughter, I’d tell my daughter how sad I felt for the girl and ask if we could do something with her and the mom. I wouldn’t do this for everybody, but if I’m good friends with the mom and the girls are friends show your daughter what bs this is and find something special to do and do it. Girl groups are hard- but navigating them is all about being moving on and finding real friends and saying “whatever” if you are odd man out. Teaching your child that difficult situations are often blessings in disguise is way better than scheming to get an insincere invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it.

Welcome to middle school mean girls part 3 zillion. Let me guess— the girl getting excluded is prettier than the hosting girl and likely most of the group. Popular boy(s) like or have liked excluded girl or talk a lot of positive things about excluded girl to other boys and hosting girl. Or, excluded girl likes or is liked by a boy hosting girl has liked or likes.

Less than girls exclude girls like this in an attempt to bring them down. Didn’t work for my DD in MS. Despite being routinely excluded from bs like this she had friends outside of school and was able to navigate this tough time. Now in private school she’s thriving and the jealous and bitter girls that went to the local high school are still obsessed with her.

This will pass, but it’s hard. I’m sorry your daughter has to deal with this kind of pettiness.

Wow. I suggest, for the sake of your own social life, that you do not ever say any of this to anyone IRL.

You must be Mom of the mean girl.

Quite the opposite. I’m nice enough to be appalled by someone referring to children as “less than,” and I think my kids would be too. I was nice enough to advise the mom above not to tell people IRL that her daughter is so beautiful that ordinary looking, bitter, jealous girls won’t befriend her dd and continue to be obsessed with her even after they no longer see her.

Get over yourself and off your high horse. Girls and people in general know when they are not as good looking as someone else. This happens all the time. It just hasn’t happened to your daughter because shes probably average.

😂

According to you:

Mean girls = less attractive girls who are jealous
Girls the mean girls go after = uncommonly good looking

Also according to you:

My kids (whom you don’t know) have never experienced what good looking people go through because they’re probably average.


Way to self own. You certainly demonstrate expertise in mean girl behavior.

Wayyyy to defensive lol.

[Anonymous]

The posters here seem like a bunch of mean girls.

I would probably just text mom A and say "hey, I notice that B wasn't invited, just wanted to be sure because we were going to mention the event to her" and then let Mom A and Mom B deal with it.

You don't know what is going on between those two girls (as your child isn't A or B) or the moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The posters here seem like a bunch of mean girls.

I would probably just text mom A and say "hey, I notice that B wasn't invited, just wanted to be sure because we were going to mention the event to her" and then let Mom A and Mom B deal with it.

You don't know what is going on between those two girls (as your child isn't A or B) or the moms.

NO! do not text the mom holding the party. She and her daughter know. Hell, your daughter noticed and told you, so of course they're all aware. I'm a pp that thinks you can mention the party in convo with mom b if it comes up, but you probably should have done that already anyway when she talks about your girls hanging out on Halloween. "Susie is going to Larla's that night"

Don't tell mom A she may have made a mistake. Mean girls make no mistakes

[Anonymous]

What does your DD say about this? Surely she knows why this girl is not invited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you are good friends with girl B's mom, I would try to figure out a way to give her a heads up that girl A is hosting an event for some (but not all) of the girls in the group. You shouldn't get involved in who girl A invites.

That will give her a chance to talk to her DD in private and help her DD come up with alternate plans. As much as it would hurt to know my kid was being left out, I would appreciate a heads up from a friend so that my kid isn't blindsided. Girl B comes out of this much better if she knows ahead of time and can say, "oh, I already have plans with . . . ." even if it isn't true.

+1. You are good friends with Girl B’s mom. She will appreciate you giving a heads up, even if it sucks to hear it.

+2

+3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DD talk to the host child? Ask her specifically if she is excluding kid B? Then, make her decision about the party.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DD talk to the host child? Ask her specifically if she is excluding kid B? Then, make her decision about the party.

Host girl is going to say they that her parents limited the number of kids she could have at the party... the uninvited child now knows that the other girl is t a real friend. She should act like it does t bother her and if anyone asks why she wasn’t there say she had other plans, “another party”… other friends from dance, camp, old school, or she had to babysit (made big bucks) to watch an aunt’s kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD’s friend (girl A) is organizing a Halloween event at her house. She is not including one girl (girl B) in their group. I am close friends with B’s mom, so while DD is not that close to her, I know that she is planning to spend Halloween with this group. I’m also friends with the mom of girl A who is organizing the event. Should I stay out of this or let A’s mom know? I believe she is just letting her daughter invite on text etc.and I don’t know if she’s even paying attention to who is invited. These are 7th graders, so I also know a pity invite would be awkward. But the girls hang out as a group regularly or have been, so she has always been included.

The kids all do activities together where they will see each other this weekend. I don’t like when kids do this sort of thing, especially when it’s something like Halloween and not some small gathering that’s just for close friends. It also puts me in an awkward place with B’s mom, because my DD is included. If B were her close friend, I would have her do something with her instead, but they’re not that close.

I should just mind my own business, right? It’s only by chance that I know both that Girl B isn’t invited (from my DD) and that she also plans to spend Halloween with this group (from B’s mom).

I would ask my daughter to bring it to A.
That way adults stay out of it but your daughter learn empathy even if she is not a close friend of B.

+1

[Anonymous]

I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you are good friends with girl B's mom, I would try to figure out a way to give her a heads up that girl A is hosting an event for some (but not all) of the girls in the group. You shouldn't get involved in who girl A invites.

That will give her a chance to talk to her DD in private and help her DD come up with alternate plans. As much as it would hurt to know my kid was being left out, I would appreciate a heads up from a friend so that my kid isn't blindsided. Girl B comes out of this much better if she knows ahead of time and can say, "oh, I already have plans with . . . ." even if it isn't true.

+1. You are good friends with Girl B’s mom. She will appreciate you giving a heads up, even if it sucks to hear it.

+2

+3.

+4. You can’t, and shouldn’t, intervene on the party planning since it’s not your party but definitely give girl b’s mom a heads up. I’m sure girl B will be upset but at least she won’t be made to feel completely pathetic asking everyone what the Halloween plans are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.