Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

I would 100% say something. I don't buy into this nonsense of they're in MS so they should figure it out. We all know MS girls are the worst when it comes to orchestrating this stuff. THey need guidance. SAY SOMETHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say something. I don't buy into this nonsense of they're in MS so they should figure it out. We all know MS girls are the worst when it comes to orchestrating this stuff. THey need guidance. SAY SOMETHING.

Do you think Girl A’s mom should force her DD to invite Girl B? If so, you do not understand teen girls. That would be the worst thing that could happen to Girl B socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely don't force include her. This will not end well for anyone. Sure it looks nice in the moment and parents feel better but it does not help the child. The child needs new friends who like her.

Do not force the invite. It will make her even more disliked and they will likely text behind her back but right in front of her face.

I was kicked out of my group once. A few adults tried to help me back in. It doesn't work. It just makes things worse and prolongs the kid finding new friends who enjoy and want her company.

This.

[Anonymous]

This sucks. Halloween is a stressful social event for middle schoolers!!!! Lots of kids get left out of events and trick or treating groups. My daughter included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sucks. Halloween is a stressful social event for middle schoolers!!!! Lots of kids get left out of events and trick or treating groups. My daughter included.

+1. I'm sorry, PP. My DD was so excited to trick or treat this year and has no one to go with. She's reached to a few friends who have all said they have plans, but not one has invited her to join. She is friends with many, but best friends with no one, and times like this it sucks that DD doesn't have her own tight group of BFFs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DD talk to the host child? Ask her specifically if she is excluding kid B? Then, make her decision about the party.

+1

If anyone says anything it should be your DD who probably has a better grasp on the social situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely don't force include her. This will not end well for anyone. Sure it looks nice in the moment and parents feel better but it does not help the child. The child needs new friends who like her.

Do not force the invite. It will make her even more disliked and they will likely text behind her back but right in front of her face.

I was kicked out of my group once. A few adults tried to help me back in. It doesn't work. It just makes things worse and prolongs the kid finding new friends who enjoy and want her company.

This.

Yeah-- I remember DS was definitely the odd kid out at his small, private school. A boy had a party where his mom (being really nice) made him invite everyone-- kid wasted no time telling my son that he didn't want my son there (it was him mom) and he only wanted to invite his "friends." My DS is a freshman in HS now, and still talks about how humiliating this experience was-- he told me later that he never wanted to be anywhere where he isn't wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DD talk to the host child? Ask her specifically if she is excluding kid B? Then, make her decision about the party.

I agree. Girl and Mom A are perfectly entitled to invite whom they want. However, if you think girl and mom A are specifically excluding child B, knowing that child has expectations about the get together, and not clearing the air about who is invited (however hurtful that would be in the moment), I might also have my own kid bow out of the event to not be entangled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DD talk to the host child? Ask her specifically if she is excluding kid B? Then, make her decision about the party.

I agree. Girl and Mom A are perfectly entitled to invite whom they want. However, if you think girl and mom A are specifically excluding child B, knowing that child has expectations about the get together, and not clearing the air about who is invited (however hurtful that would be in the moment), I might also have my own kid bow out of the event to not be entangled.

That's a great way for OP's daughter to get uninvited and kicked out of the friend-group.

[Anonymous]

I would stay out of it.

Welcome to middle school mean girls part 3 zillion. Let me guess— the girl getting excluded is prettier than the hosting girl and likely most of the group. Popular boy(s) like or have liked excluded girl or talk a lot of positive things about excluded girl to other boys and hosting girl. Or, excluded girl likes or is liked by a boy hosting girl has liked or likes.

Less than girls exclude girls like this in an attempt to bring them down. Didn’t work for my DD in MS. Despite being routinely excluded from bs like this she had friends outside of school and was able to navigate this tough time. Now in private school she’s thriving and the jealous and bitter girls that went to the local high school are still obsessed with her.

This will pass, but it’s hard. I’m sorry your daughter has to deal with this kind of pettiness.

[Anonymous]

I would say, “Hey, Girl A’s Mom, it sounds like the girls aren’t planning to invite Girl B but Girl B doesn’t realize.” Let her handle it with her daughter how she likes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of it. For all you know B was really mean to A and A needs a break from B.

Found friend A's mom . You are just making stuff up. Nowhere dod op say the girl was mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it.

Welcome to middle school mean girls part 3 zillion. Let me guess— the girl getting excluded is prettier than the hosting girl and likely most of the group. Popular boy(s) like or have liked excluded girl or talk a lot of positive things about excluded girl to other boys and hosting girl. Or, excluded girl likes or is liked by a boy hosting girl has liked or likes.

Less than girls exclude girls like this in an attempt to bring them down. Didn’t work for my DD in MS. Despite being routinely excluded from bs like this she had friends outside of school and was able to navigate this tough time. Now in private school she’s thriving and the jealous and bitter girls that went to the local high school are still obsessed with her.

This will pass, but it’s hard. I’m sorry your daughter has to deal with this kind of pettiness.

This. Jealousy. Insecurity. Immaturity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say something. I don't buy into this nonsense of they're in MS so they should figure it out. We all know MS girls are the worst when it comes to orchestrating this stuff. THey need guidance. SAY SOMETHING.

Do you think Girl A’s mom should force her DD to invite Girl B? If so, you do not understand teen girls. That would be the worst thing that could happen to Girl B socially.

Look, if Girl A's mom has any clue, this can be done in a way that doesn't "FORCE" anything. And while she's at it, talk to her kid about not being a little jerk. Then keep on her A$$ to make sure she's not. That behavior would 1000% not fly in my home.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my dd a few years ago. when I found out she wasnt included, I told her that we have plans for halloween night and took her to field of screams. It took away some of the sting.