Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I have only middle school boys. No drama at all! I get that this kind of thing can happen to boys, too, but... Can you picture dudes in their 40s and 50s writing five pages of comments about every possible scenario with this?

There are mean girls and sometimes that streak does not ever go away!

I have both and I think boys can be just as hurtful, their methods are just different.

[Anonymous]

Wow having flashbacks to my own middle school Halloween drama.

Op, I hope your daughter feels comfortable asking the host if everyone will be included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

TOTALLY DISAGREE. This is exactly how mean girl behavior is enabled. These girls are 12, not 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow having flashbacks to my own middle school Halloween drama.

Op, I hope your daughter feels comfortable asking the host if everyone will be included.

+1

I would encourage your DD to be inclusive if she can but not push it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

TOTALLY DISAGREE. This is exactly how mean girl behavior is enabled. These girls are 12, not 17.

I feel like the moms advocating this have never been excluded.
OP Kids talk, they post on social media...Kid B (and mom) will find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

TOTALLY DISAGREE. This is exactly how mean girl behavior is enabled. These girls are 12, not 17.

I feel like the moms advocating this have never been excluded.
OP Kids talk, they post on social media...Kid B (and mom) will find out.

So she talks to the other Mom and then what? You think that will change the kid or Mom’s mind? Your daughter now looks weak and babyish and the excluding will get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it.

Welcome to middle school mean girls part 3 zillion. Let me guess— the girl getting excluded is prettier than the hosting girl and likely most of the group. Popular boy(s) like or have liked excluded girl or talk a lot of positive things about excluded girl to other boys and hosting girl. Or, excluded girl likes or is liked by a boy hosting girl has liked or likes.

Less than girls exclude girls like this in an attempt to bring them down. Didn’t work for my DD in MS. Despite being routinely excluded from bs like this she had friends outside of school and was able to navigate this tough time. Now in private school she’s thriving and the jealous and bitter girls that went to the local high school are still obsessed with her.

This will pass, but it’s hard. I’m sorry your daughter has to deal with this kind of pettiness.

Wow. I suggest, for the sake of your own social life, that you do not ever say any of this to anyone IRL.

You must be Mom of the mean girl.

Quite the opposite. I’m nice enough to be appalled by someone referring to children as “less than,” and I think my kids would be too. I was nice enough to advise the mom above not to tell people IRL that her daughter is so beautiful that ordinary looking, bitter, jealous girls won’t befriend her dd and continue to be obsessed with her even after they no longer see her.

Get over yourself and off your high horse. Girls and people in general know when they are not as good looking as someone else. This happens all the time. It just hasn’t happened to your daughter because shes probably average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I have only middle school boys. No drama at all! I get that this kind of thing can happen to boys, too, but... Can you picture dudes in their 40s and 50s writing five pages of comments about every possible scenario with this?

There are mean girls and sometimes that streak does not ever go away!

I have both and I think boys can be just as hurtful, their methods are just different.

The boys get involved in the drama too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but if I were A's mom I would want you to tell me so I could address it with my daughter. If B did something to her, fine, but if she's just being mean - no. I will not have that sh*t.

Oh, look, an actual responsible parent on DCUM. It’s like seeing a unicorn in the wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say something. I don't buy into this nonsense of they're in MS so they should figure it out. We all know MS girls are the worst when it comes to orchestrating this stuff. THey need guidance. SAY SOMETHING.

Do you think Girl A’s mom should force her DD to invite Girl B? If so, you do not understand teen girls. That would be the worst thing that could happen to Girl B socially.

If she was some random girl she doesn’t know in school? No. If she’s the only member of an existing middle school friend group being deliberately excluded? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

TOTALLY DISAGREE. This is exactly how mean girl behavior is enabled. These girls are 12, not 17.

I feel like the moms advocating this have never been excluded.
OP Kids talk, they post on social media...Kid B (and mom) will find out.

So she talks to the other Mom and then what? You think that will change the kid or Mom’s mind? Your daughter now looks weak and babyish and the excluding will get worse.

New poster here. I have been Girl B and I’d intervene. I have an 8th grade daughter. If my DD ended up looking “weak and babyish” that just further shows that the main group is mean mean mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I have only middle school boys. No drama at all! I get that this kind of thing can happen to boys, too, but... Can you picture dudes in their 40s and 50s writing five pages of comments about every possible scenario with this?

There are mean girls and sometimes that streak does not ever go away!

I have both and I think boys can be just as hurtful, their methods are just different.

The boys get involved in the drama too.

I mean sure, they can be hurtful. But 40 years later, are dads on message boards telling strangers "get off your high horse, get over it" etc on and on for pages about this type of an issue? There is just something about girl drama, it seems to be pervasive throughout life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it.

Welcome to middle school mean girls part 3 zillion. Let me guess— the girl getting excluded is prettier than the hosting girl and likely most of the group. Popular boy(s) like or have liked excluded girl or talk a lot of positive things about excluded girl to other boys and hosting girl. Or, excluded girl likes or is liked by a boy hosting girl has liked or likes.

Less than girls exclude girls like this in an attempt to bring them down. Didn’t work for my DD in MS. Despite being routinely excluded from bs like this she had friends outside of school and was able to navigate this tough time. Now in private school she’s thriving and the jealous and bitter girls that went to the local high school are still obsessed with her.

This will pass, but it’s hard. I’m sorry your daughter has to deal with this kind of pettiness.

Wow. I suggest, for the sake of your own social life, that you do not ever say any of this to anyone IRL.

You must be Mom of the mean girl.

Quite the opposite. I’m nice enough to be appalled by someone referring to children as “less than,” and I think my kids would be too. I was nice enough to advise the mom above not to tell people IRL that her daughter is so beautiful that ordinary looking, bitter, jealous girls won’t befriend her dd and continue to be obsessed with her even after they no longer see her.

Get over yourself and off your high horse. Girls and people in general know when they are not as good looking as someone else. This happens all the time. It just hasn’t happened to your daughter because shes probably average.

😂

According to you:

Mean girls = less attractive girls who are jealous
Girls the mean girls go after = uncommonly good looking

Also according to you:

My kids (whom you don’t know) have never experienced what good looking people go through because they’re probably average.


Way to self own. You certainly demonstrate expertise in mean girl behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you are good friends with girl B's mom, I would try to figure out a way to give her a heads up that girl A is hosting an event for some (but not all) of the girls in the group. You shouldn't get involved in who girl A invites.

That will give her a chance to talk to her DD in private and help her DD come up with alternate plans. As much as it would hurt to know my kid was being left out, I would appreciate a heads up from a friend so that my kid isn't blindsided. Girl B comes out of this much better if she knows ahead of time and can say, "oh, I already have plans with . . . ." even if it isn't true.

+1. You are good friends with Girl B’s mom. She will appreciate you giving a heads up, even if it sucks to hear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you are good friends with girl B's mom, I would try to figure out a way to give her a heads up that girl A is hosting an event for some (but not all) of the girls in the group. You shouldn't get involved in who girl A invites.

That will give her a chance to talk to her DD in private and help her DD come up with alternate plans. As much as it would hurt to know my kid was being left out, I would appreciate a heads up from a friend so that my kid isn't blindsided. Girl B comes out of this much better if she knows ahead of time and can say, "oh, I already have plans with . . . ." even if it isn't true.

+1. You are good friends with Girl B’s mom. She will appreciate you giving a heads up, even if it sucks to hear it.

+2