Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

OP here. The only comment I’ve written is the one on the first page where I identified myself. So that’s not me. I talked to DD. She doesn’t really know why she’s not included or doesn’t want to share. She doesn’t seem to think multiple people don’t want her included. I’m going to just ask friend A if she is including everyone in the group (who will be together earlier in the day for their joint activity) and go from there. Of course, I’ve been stressing about this, and by this point, who knows what has transpired between these girls. B might now know what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

Agree with this. The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them.

+1

Wouldn't it be amazing if more parents taught their kids to be nice people?

+1

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe people get worked up about the happenings of 12 year/olds. Desperate Housewives, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

OP here. The only comment I’ve written is the one on the first page where I identified myself. So that’s not me. I talked to DD. She doesn’t really know why she’s not included or doesn’t want to share. She doesn’t seem to think multiple people don’t want her included. I’m going to just ask friend A if she is including everyone in the group (who will be together earlier in the day for their joint activity) and go from there. Of course, I’ve been stressing about this, and by this point, who knows what has transpired between these girls. B might now know what’s going on.

“She” being friend B not my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

Agree with this. The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them.

+1

Wouldn't it be amazing if more parents taught their kids to be nice people?

I know plenty of really nice parents with little shit kids. Sometimes, it’s just the kid.

I don’t know why people on this board don’t understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

Agree with this. The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them.

+1 Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people get worked up about the happenings of 12 year/olds. Desperate Housewives, indeed.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

OP here. The only comment I’ve written is the one on the first page where I identified myself. So that’s not me. I talked to DD. She doesn’t really know why she’s not included or doesn’t want to share. She doesn’t seem to think multiple people don’t want her included. I’m going to just ask friend A if she is including everyone in the group (who will be together earlier in the day for their joint activity) and go from there. Of course, I’ve been stressing about this, and by this point, who knows what has transpired between these girls. B might now know what’s going on.

NP. OP, I think if you are really friend's with girl A's mom, I would be even more direct and tell her you heard that B was not invited and ask her what was up. If I were A's mom I would definitely want to know. Although there could be some situations where I would understand why, I would not be afraid to "force an invite" (as A's mom...obviously you cannot force anything). And my child would understand that being an a-hole about said invite was also not acceptable. It's weird to me how many parents on here feel like their daughters are free to act like dick$ but there is nothing they can do about it?

[Anonymous]

Social etiquette should be taught to kids when they are little at school on upwards along with anger management along with bullying. Group Home parties shouldn’t be encouraged unless a classroom, special project, sports or hobby team gathering. This would cut bullshit out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social etiquette should be taught to kids when they are little at school on upwards along with anger management along with bullying. Group Home parties shouldn’t be encouraged unless a classroom, special project, sports or hobby team gathering. This would cut bullshit out.

Now this is just crazy talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

OP here. The only comment I’ve written is the one on the first page where I identified myself. So that’s not me. I talked to DD. She doesn’t really know why she’s not included or doesn’t want to share. She doesn’t seem to think multiple people don’t want her included. I’m going to just ask friend A if she is including everyone in the group (who will be together earlier in the day for their joint activity) and go from there. Of course, I’ve been stressing about this, and by this point, who knows what has transpired between these girls. B might now know what’s going on.

NP. OP, I think if you are really friend's with girl A's mom, I would be even more direct and tell her you heard that B was not invited and ask her what was up. If I were A's mom I would definitely want to know. Although there could be some situations where I would understand why, I would not be afraid to "force an invite" (as A's mom...obviously you cannot force anything). And my child would understand that being an a-hole about said invite was also not acceptable. It's weird to me how many parents on here feel like their daughters are free to act like dick$ but there is nothing they can do about it?

+1

[Anonymous]

It is not at your home. You are not the host. You are not an invited guest. You are hearing 2nd hand information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social etiquette should be taught to kids when they are little at school on upwards along with anger management along with bullying. Group Home parties shouldn’t be encouraged unless a classroom, special project, sports or hobby team gathering. This would cut bullshit out.

That is completely unrealistic for MS and HS kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social etiquette should be taught to kids when they are little at school on upwards along with anger management along with bullying. Group Home parties shouldn’t be encouraged unless a classroom, special project, sports or hobby team gathering. This would cut bullshit out.

If you don't let kids have friends they won't have drama over friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social etiquette should be taught to kids when they are little at school on upwards along with anger management along with bullying. Group Home parties shouldn’t be encouraged unless a classroom, special project, sports or hobby team gathering. This would cut bullshit out.

If you don't let kids have friends they won't have drama over friends

Just because you have no friends, don’t punish your kids by not letting me hem have friends. I hope you don’t actually have kids.