Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

Any update?

[Anonymous]

This is really an issue between you and friend B's mom, as she is your friend. She's telling you that her dd is expecting to hang out with the group, and you're going along with the conversation as though she's right. How terrible is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have excluded one child now and then for a variety of reasons, including:

The non-invited child did not get along with one or more guests.

Non-invited child acted immaturely at a previous gathering (running around, tagging other boys until a picture frame was broken).

Non-invited child acted too maturely at a previous gathering (asking DD to turn on an inappropriate movie).

Non-invited child was not picked up in a timely fashion more than once.

My issue with this is their no margin for error. And they are kids. Learning. Does anyone say anything to the kid about any of these things and give the kid a chance to fix it?

Just ditching one person in a previously established group of some sort and leaving them wondering why is really cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have excluded one child now and then for a variety of reasons, including:

The non-invited child did not get along with one or more guests.

Non-invited child acted immaturely at a previous gathering (running around, tagging other boys until a picture frame was broken).

Non-invited child acted too maturely at a previous gathering (asking DD to turn on an inappropriate movie).

Non-invited child was not picked up in a timely fashion more than once.

My issue with this is their no margin for error. And they are kids. Learning. Does anyone say anything to the kid about any of these things and give the kid a chance to fix it?

Just ditching one person in a previously established group of some sort and leaving them wondering why is really cruel.

*there is no margin for error

[Anonymous]

In my house I would ask my DD to ask A why B wasn't being included and say that she's uncomfortable leaving just one person in the group out (without good reason.) I do believe my kids are strong enough to say something like that in their friend groups. I would very much hope that they are also strong enough to step out an activity if they feel deliberate harm is being done. But you say DD isn't particularly close to B so maybe she doesn't feel as strongly, especially if B's better friends are not stepping up to advocate for her.

If B's mom mentioned something about the evening I would simply say that DD said A had invited her over but that I have no other details. That's honest. I won't interfere in another person's invitations, but I will be honest.