Feeling sad about Christmas

Anonymous
DH and I spent about $900 on DC collectively this year, using the want/need/wear/read model. We took kids to see Star Wars on Friday, treated them to snacks - and not a peep of gratitude.

Just found out that EW is spending over 1k per kid. This is just par for the course - with her always trying to outdo him, and them just expecting more and more.

Im so sad about the holidays this year. It’s like a race to see who can shell out the most, with the kids only being thankful to the highest bidder.

Anonymous
Wow when did the start? I can't imagine spending more than $200 per kid and that's in the later years. I certainly never got anything more than that from my parents. They were comfortable but also did presents throughout the year and not just at holidays and birthdays.
Anonymous
Wow. That’s a lot of money! We definitely overdo Xmas, but it still works out to less than $900/kid!
Anonymous
Both parents need to teach their children how to show appreciation. Dial it back if the kids are being showered with gifts.
Anonymous
What do you kids get you?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow. That’s a lot of money! We definitely overdo Xmas, but it still works out to less than $900/kid!


Sorry if I was unclear - DH and I spent about $900 total - so bt &400-450 per kid.

AND they will get $1k worth of stuff from their mom.

It makes me sick to think about it, especially how little gratitude they seem able to muster.
Anonymous
You do you. Don’t let it ruin your holiday. Just be mindful next year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You do you. Don’t let it ruin your holiday. Just be mindful next year.


Mindful of what? Getting them more/trying to keep up with her?

Can you please clarify?
Anonymous
OP, YOU are seeing things in terms of dollars signs. Re-evaluate THAT.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU are seeing things in terms of dollars signs. Re-evaluate THAT.


I kind of agree. How do you know how much she is spending and why are you tracking? I think the real problem is that you see this as some sort of competition, which it is not. You are assuming that her intention is to outdo you...and you know what they say about assumptions.

The kids have two parents/families who adore them and that is great. Work on teaching gratitude, absolutely, but don’t blame her entirely for their lack of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You do you. Don’t let it ruin your holiday. Just be mindful next year.


Mindful of what? Getting them more/trying to keep up with her?

Can you please clarify?


Mindful if the children are more grateful next year and working on that as a goal. Not spending more money.
Anonymous
Stop buying stuff and do a vacation next year instead.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU are seeing things in terms of dollars signs. Re-evaluate THAT.
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+1
Anonymous
Wow okay gratitude/no gratitude is about your parenting, not what the kids are getting. Rich kids are capable of being grateful and poor kids are capable of being brats. You’re blaming the kids for being poorly parented instead of blaming yourself and your husband for your failings.
Anonymous
You took your own kids to the movies and bought them some popcorn and you are mad they didn't say thank you? If we go as a family to see a movie or to the park or out go eat my kids don't thank us. If they go out with someone else they do thank the person.

Kids also like experiences not always material things and 6 months from now they might not remember who bought them what. I can picture you being annoyed with them after the movie and them not wanting to go out with you again.
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