Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do

[Anonymous]

Recently divorced. When I think about my ex-MIL, I realize how truly toxic she was and all of the effed up behavior I endured. Then I think about how glad I am not to be subject to that anymore. I would definitely classify her as a "covert narcissist" (among other things).

Anyway, I was just remembering this situation and wondering if anyone else's MIL or mother did this? One year, she gave me a bottle of her (gross) perfume as a xmas gift. I though to myself "WTF?". She then explained that she gifted it to me so I could SPRAY MY DC (infant/baby) with it AND baby's clothes/room/things to "remind" DC of her/her scent. I promptly threw that stinky shit in the trash. What the actual F? A few months later I told my (now ex) SIL about this and I asked her if MIL had done something similar to her. She proceeded to tell me a story about how one day she actually walked in on MIL getting ready to spray her DC (toddler) with her perfume! My SIL said "please don't do that" and MIL did it anyway!!

This *not* the worst of my stories of ex-MIL, just something that popped into my head just now. She was the worst.

Please feel free to share your stories. And I'm curious to know if other grandmothers have done this perfume spray BS.

[Anonymous]

WhenI was giving birth to my first child, MIL told her to leave the hospital, that “family” was seeing the child first. I don’t know who she thought she was, and I wish I had found out about this sooner than later because I would have kicked MIL out. My friend (who I called in excitement) left in tears having been bullied (my mother witnessed and followed to console) by by MIL.

[Anonymous]

MIL told my younger daughter "too bad you won't ever be as pretty as your sister".

I was nice to her for 15 years then gave her to my DH lasted a year.He hasn't spoken to her since. Been married 34 years.

Makes me sad sometimes, but life is so much less toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL told my younger daughter "too bad you won't ever be as pretty as your sister".

I was nice to her for 15 years then gave her to my DH lasted a year.He hasn't spoken to her since. Been married 34 years.

Makes me sad sometimes, but life is so much less toxic.

OP here, here's a story I have along those lines.

We were at her/FIL's house for Xmas one year. One evening while everyone was mingling before dinner, she called me over to her because she wanted to show me something. She proceeded to show me her nephew's (sister's son) family photo xmas card. She covered the card with her hand and slowly revealed each person, one by one. Saying something like "so look at this, and this, and this..." And then she got to the last person (nephew's oldest daughter, a tween at the time) and she said "and then you have THIS" and she laughed/snickered. She was making fun of nephew's daughter's looks; implying look at these beautiful people, and then look at this TROLL! I was *horrified*. She then said something about nephew's wife trying to get oldest daughter to lose weight or something. I was so stunned, I wasn't paying attention anymore. I didn't know how to react. I gave a knee-jerk uncomfortable smile and walked the F away. Terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL told my younger daughter "too bad you won't ever be as pretty as your sister".

I was nice to her for 15 years then gave her to my DH lasted a year.He hasn't spoken to her since. Been married 34 years.

Makes me sad sometimes, but life is so much less toxic.

OP here, here's a story I have along those lines.

We were at her/FIL's house for Xmas one year. One evening while everyone was mingling before dinner, she called me over to her because she wanted to show me something. She proceeded to show me her nephew's (sister's son) family photo xmas card. She covered the card with her hand and slowly revealed each person, one by one. Saying something like "so look at this, and this, and this..." And then she got to the last person (nephew's oldest daughter, a tween at the time) and she said "and then you have THIS" and she laughed/snickered. She was making fun of nephew's daughter's looks; implying look at these beautiful people, and then look at this TROLL! I was *horrified*. She then said something about nephew's wife trying to get oldest daughter to lose weight or something. I was so stunned, I wasn't paying attention anymore. I didn't know how to react. I gave a knee-jerk uncomfortable smile and walked the F away. Terrible person.

This is how I was raised.... You are right, what a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Mine loves to insult me to my face by criticizing people who look like me (wear their hair the same way, same aesthetic, etc)

[Anonymous]

When my husband's old girlfriend got divorced, she called DH to tell him that "katie" was back on the market again -- you know, in case he wanted to divorce me and our four children in order to pursue her, I guess.

[Anonymous]

MIL makes family tree books for my kids and includes everyone in her family including random cousins of DH but leaves everyone in my family out of the tree and acts like they don't exist.

[Anonymous]

MIL had a gigantic "grandma' shower with over 40 guests to which I (the mother of the child) was not invited.

[Anonymous]

PP here. And she kept all the grandma shower stuff at her house. just hoarding it there I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL told my younger daughter "too bad you won't ever be as pretty as your sister".

I was nice to her for 15 years then gave her to my DH lasted a year.He hasn't spoken to her since. Been married 34 years.

Makes me sad sometimes, but life is so much less toxic.

That's awful but...What do you mean you "gave her to your DH and that lasted a year?"

[Anonymous]

DH's mother isn't a covert narcissist. Everyone knows it.

She literally dragged me around her house (physically grabbing onto my arm and dragging me with her weight - she weighed 2x me at the time) during the engagement party she threw me and DH and instructing me to touch her friends' feet claiming it was a religious thing. (I found out later from one of their family members that it wasn't).

She ruined the south asian wedding hosted by my parents by: 1) before the ceremony, telling DH to wear some headcovering and of course he went along with it; 2) draping me with some gross gold and red fake silk fabric during the ceremony -- all our wedding pictures are ruined 3) bringing her own priest that grabbed the mic after the ceremony and started chanting in sanskrit that no one understood; 4) at the reception told the DJ that it was her birthday and instructing him to instruct all the guests to sing happy birthday to her during our speeches.

After the wedding, she tried to convince DH to leave some of our gifts with her because they weren't our style. DH went along with it until I made him return them when she sent me a text telling me to write those guests thank you notes.

I could go on and on. .. .

[Anonymous]

Racist. Starts every sentence with "I don't mean to be prejudiced but..."

Will go up to every minority or part minority she meets (including me) and tell them "I don't mean to be prejudiced but...(says something about politics in the country of their ancestors)." Like she'll go up to an African-American and say "I don't mean to be prejudiced, but I think your people in Africa are just awful with their beliefs."

Says things like "My grandchild is gorgeous! I don't think he looks part minority at all!"

[Anonymous]

Jesus, how do women become like this!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL told my younger daughter "too bad you won't ever be as pretty as your sister".

I was nice to her for 15 years then gave her to my DH lasted a year.He hasn't spoken to her since. Been married 34 years.

Makes me sad sometimes, but life is so much less toxic.

OP here, here's a story I have along those lines.

We were at her/FIL's house for Xmas one year. One evening while everyone was mingling before dinner, she called me over to her because she wanted to show me something. She proceeded to show me her nephew's (sister's son) family photo xmas card. She covered the card with her hand and slowly revealed each person, one by one. Saying something like "so look at this, and this, and this..." And then she got to the last person (nephew's oldest daughter, a tween at the time) and she said "and then you have THIS" and she laughed/snickered. She was making fun of nephew's daughter's looks; implying look at these beautiful people, and then look at this TROLL! I was *horrified*. She then said something about nephew's wife trying to get oldest daughter to lose weight or something. I was so stunned, I wasn't paying attention anymore. I didn't know how to react. I gave a knee-jerk uncomfortable smile and walked the F away. Terrible person.

UGH so so sorry that happened. Who thinks that way?