Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do

[Anonymous]

^^ wow, that would be immediate grounds for cut off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is a trifecta of attention seeking/control freak/geriatric toddler.

She is constantly chattering, whispering criticisms of everything, and giving unsolicited instructions for everything and so on. If it comes within her range of vision, she has.a comment on how it should be done differently. In the kitchen and someone opens a drawer? She peers inside and immediately starts suggesting better ways to organize the items or comments that these should be a different drawer closer to stove. Kids wearing footie pajamas? She comments that these really are not practical because if their legs grow faster than the rest of their body then they won't fit anymore while footless PJs would still will fit. We like entertaining and hosting holidays but she really ruins it when we host DH's family. She send lists and lists of instructions as if we are idiots. Some of my favorites have been - make sure to open the door when the bell rings -don't forget to use oven mitts when you take the turkey out of the oven or they include little digs about past years other others -don't use an orange table cloth like Claudia did it looked so tacky or -check the silverware this year, last year I saw a spot on one spoon.

She is one of those people who is 100% certain of whatever she is saying or doing even though she has no idea what she is saying or doing.

This woman delights in over stepping boundaries and delights in it as if its a game. She thinks she is so cute with her little girl giggles and stupid sayings. She will extend invitations on our behalf for other relatives to sleep at our house without telling us. She will volunteer us to do things for other relatives without telling us. The oddest thing was that she gave one of our fake floral arrangements to a cousin who commented on how much she liked it. It was a very large and expensive thing. Cousin just walked out the door with it saying thanks quickly as she left. I was like WTF and MIL piped in "Oh I gave that to Susan. She liked it so much and was too thrilled when I gave it to her she just squealed and then I squealed too! I just can't help being a little elf."

If she doesn't get her away she pretends that she never heard the no. She simply brings it up again only this time as statement. It starts as an invitation that we decline. The next time its when you bring the kids over on the 16th to meet my book club don't forget to dress them in those adorable little outfits that I bought them. We have to say we did not agree to bring the kids to your book club and then she does the pout pout face and literally will stomp her foot. She hates me because I once told her that grown women should not stomp their feet.

Mine, too. She also never shuts up, and I mean, literally, never. I don't think I've witnessed her being quiet for 10 minutes at a stretch in 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She "gifts" me her old costume jewelry; gave DH an open costco pack of toothpaste (2 out of the 6 were gone - the box was taped shut with masking tape).

I posted on DCUM about this before..My MIL once 'gifted' me her old hair scrunchies, smelling and with random hair strands still sticking out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
I've often wondered if my MIL does the perfume thing. Our kids will sometimes strongly smell of her, and sometimes she does the laundry and i've noticed the clean clothes smell more like her perfume than clean laundry.

What else has she done: "surprised" us by painting our ceiling and re-finishing some floorboards, telling me that my father "probably" cheats on my mother, hit on my father, and oh so much more.....

I think she must be using those stinky dryer sheets that have no purpose whatsoever but do stink up your laundry. Mine does and they reek.

[Anonymous]

I was in the hospital one day post C section after my first baby. She was holding him, after 10min or so he started fussing and I asked for him back. She goes “I’m not done holding him yet.” And kept rocking him across the room.

Remember that I was one day post C section so I couldn’t even get up and go take him from her.

[Anonymous]

Told my 6 month old baby “when you are a teenager and you hate your parents you can always come and stay with grandma as long as you want!” Remember this is a 6 month old who can’t understand her. The only other person in the room- who COULD understand her- was me. Such a bizarre thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

Yep like my mil...it's all about HER! Behind my back she said I stole my ex husbands house from him, LOL! For one it was our house, we had a very agreeable divorce, and used one mutual attorney. He didn't want the house which was ALL loan at that time. I did. I didn't allow my kids around her unless I was there for obvious reasons.

All about her, and hypocritical for good measure! She had an affair and is now living with her AP. Do you think she ever apologize for the hurtful things she said when DH and I lived together before getting married? And when her daughter got knocked up at 21, it was all "She's going to ruin her life! I'm too young to be a grandmother!" But years earlier she wasn't too young? That woman.....

[Anonymous]

Covert narcissists are the worst, OP because they want people to see them as cute little old ladies who wouldn't harm a fly, but in reality, they are a wolf in sheep's clothing.

My MIL has said all sorts fo rude things, being careful not to have an audience, but now I just ignore her, because I know she is rude, selfish, self centered, self serving, closed minded, stubborn, short sighted and ignorant - at best. Slowly, other people in her circle are finding out the same, thankfully. They can't hide their ways forever - then, the fun starts: "I can't believe Betty said/did that! How rude" My response: "Yup, welcome to my world!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, how do women become like this!!!

Mostly it happens by surrounding themselves with apologists and doormats.

+1

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL makes family tree books for my kids and includes everyone in her family including random cousins of DH but leaves everyone in my family out of the tree and acts like they don't exist.

Mine does this - so family tree has MIL + FIL and then under them, their kids (but no spouses) and their grandkids - my thought is maybe MIL waiting to see if their kids' 10 year + marriages will really "take" before inking the spouse names in!

[Anonymous]

My MIL has pictures of our (mine and her son’s) wedding day on her mantle but none of them have me in them. They are all pictures of her with him. A bit gross. There is one of him and his brother-without her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

I couldn't have children and my MIL told me that it was ok as she already had grandchildren and she had everything she wanted so she was happy as she already had her family. Literally those words. Thanks for the empathy. Not one word for me, it was all her, her, her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

I couldn't have children and my MIL told me that it was ok as she already had grandchildren and she had everything she wanted so she was happy as she already had her family. Literally those words. Thanks for the empathy. Not one word for me, it was all her, her, her.

Did she know you WANT children? My DD is dating a man with older kids and a ten year old vasectomy. His mom told her “You’re lucky! You’ll get a family without having to gain an ounce.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

I couldn't have children and my MIL told me that it was ok as she already had grandchildren and she had everything she wanted so she was happy as she already had her family. Literally those words. Thanks for the empathy. Not one word for me, it was all her, her, her.

Did she know you WANT children? My DD is dating a man with older kids and a ten year old vasectomy. His mom told her “You’re lucky! You’ll get a family without having to gain an ounce.”

Does YOUR daughter want children?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I got engaged and married 2 months later in a very low key, easy going, small wedding in my hometown (across the country from where we lived and from DH’s family). I enjoyed quickly planning everything and loved hosting close friends and family. MIL was upset that she was not in charge, at all, of the wedding. She also wanted a big, fancy affair as that is the wedding culture where she lives and she completely owned every detail of her daughter’s wedding 6 months earlier. When we told her we were having pizza and beer, she called up the venue behind our back and inquired into other dining options. The manager of course just called me immediately and warned me. She had many other attempts to intervene in our wedding plan. I didn’t back down, the wedding was super fun and my MIL got totally wasted having a blast dancing to the live band.