Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is a trifecta of attention seeking/control freak/geriatric toddler.

She is constantly chattering, whispering criticisms of everything, and giving unsolicited instructions for everything and so on. If it comes within her range of vision, she has.a comment on how it should be done differently. In the kitchen and someone opens a drawer? She peers inside and immediately starts suggesting better ways to organize the items or comments that these should be a different drawer closer to stove. Kids wearing footie pajamas? She comments that these really are not practical because if their legs grow faster than the rest of their body then they won't fit anymore while footless PJs would still will fit. We like entertaining and hosting holidays but she really ruins it when we host DH's family. She send lists and lists of instructions as if we are idiots. Some of my favorites have been - make sure to open the door when the bell rings -don't forget to use oven mitts when you take the turkey out of the oven or they include little digs about past years other others -don't use an orange table cloth like Claudia did it looked so tacky or -check the silverware this year, last year I saw a spot on one spoon.

She is one of those people who is 100% certain of whatever she is saying or doing even though she has no idea what she is saying or doing.

This woman delights in over stepping boundaries and delights in it as if its a game. She thinks she is so cute with her little girl giggles and stupid sayings. She will extend invitations on our behalf for other relatives to sleep at our house without telling us. She will volunteer us to do things for other relatives without telling us. The oddest thing was that she gave one of our fake floral arrangements to a cousin who commented on how much she liked it. It was a very large and expensive thing. Cousin just walked out the door with it saying thanks quickly as she left. I was like WTF and MIL piped in "Oh I gave that to Susan. She liked it so much and was too thrilled when I gave it to her she just squealed and then I squealed too! I just can't help being a little elf."

If she doesn't get her away she pretends that she never heard the no. She simply brings it up again only this time as statement. It starts as an invitation that we decline. The next time its when you bring the kids over on the 16th to meet my book club don't forget to dress them in those adorable little outfits that I bought them. We have to say we did not agree to bring the kids to your book club and then she does the pout pout face and literally will stomp her foot. She hates me because I once told her that grown women should not stomp their feet.

I had all this and then some. We cut off contact. My mental health has improved SO MUCH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my husband's old girlfriend got divorced, she called DH to tell him that "katie" was back on the market again -- you know, in case he wanted to divorce me and our four children in order to pursue her, I guess.

This was my deceased mil! She would have 2 of his exes over to her house. One came into town and she actually let her stay there a week. It blew my mind then I decided after that my kids weren't going to be around her. Long story, but Karma comes back around. We were in the UP of MI vacationing one Xmas. Apparently she went into the hospital then it became very serious. No one could get a hold of DH because they didn't know who we were staying with. (we didn't want them to) Usually if we went out of state they wanted the phone number of the people we were staying with...I'm totally serious. Control freaks! She ended up dying, the rest of his sisters were mad because they had to do all the work while DH was away having fun. I remember my dad advising me to stick it out.he said.."time is on my side". He sure was right!

So your DH missed the opportunity to see his mother before she died. Yeah, that’s not karma for having an exgirlfriend stay with her.

Yea -- not something to gloat over

[Anonymous]

I have too many stories to count, but here's one:

Some years ago, I asked my MIL for a recipe for a holiday punch she had served that I had admired. She sent it to me, and I tried to make it for a holiday party that she attended. It tasted absolutely awful, and I couldn't figure out why. I had followed the recipe exactly. I had to dump the whole punch bowl out.

Fast forward a couple years, and I was in her kitchen when someone else asked her for a recipe. She cheerfully offered to share it. Then, when the person left the room, she told me that she would send her an "altered" version of the recipe so that "everyone will prefer mine."

I realized that this was exactly what she had done to me.

I cannot even relate to this line of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have too many stories to count, but here's one:

Some years ago, I asked my MIL for a recipe for a holiday punch she had served that I had admired. She sent it to me, and I tried to make it for a holiday party that she attended. It tasted absolutely awful, and I couldn't figure out why. I had followed the recipe exactly. I had to dump the whole punch bowl out.

Fast forward a couple years, and I was in her kitchen when someone else asked her for a recipe. She cheerfully offered to share it. Then, when the person left the room, she told me that she would send her an "altered" version of the recipe so that "everyone will prefer mine."

I realized that this was exactly what she had done to me.

I cannot even relate to this line of thinking.

Oh yes this is another one these types of MIL's like to do. Mine was the same, wouldn't share simple recipes at all however she expected me to share mine, which I did because at the end of the day who cares. I ended up finding recipes online for everything but it's hard to bond with someone so petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have too many stories to count, but here's one:

Some years ago, I asked my MIL for a recipe for a holiday punch she had served that I had admired. She sent it to me, and I tried to make it for a holiday party that she attended. It tasted absolutely awful, and I couldn't figure out why. I had followed the recipe exactly. I had to dump the whole punch bowl out.

Fast forward a couple years, and I was in her kitchen when someone else asked her for a recipe. She cheerfully offered to share it. Then, when the person left the room, she told me that she would send her an "altered" version of the recipe so that "everyone will prefer mine."

I realized that this was exactly what she had done to me.

I cannot even relate to this line of thinking.

Oh yes this is another one these types of MIL's like to do. Mine was the same, wouldn't share simple recipes at all however she expected me to share mine, which I did because at the end of the day who cares. I ended up finding recipes online for everything but it's hard to bond with someone so petty.

Mine did something kind of similar. The first Christmas we spent together she asked what was something my family always had for Christmas. I thought it was incredibly kind of her to ask about my family traditions to include with their Christmas. My mom had emailed my MIL a recipe that she uses. My MIL went ahead and changed somethings to “make it better”, she added so much pepper and spices, it was too spicy for me to eat. As much as I appreciated the effort it wasn’t worth it mainly because she completely disregarded my moms family recipe made it her own, and then changed it so much I couldn’t even eat it.

[Anonymous]

My mother-in-law completely ignores me....like I don’t exist. She never even acknowledged me when my son nearly died from a bleeding brain tumor. She visited him but didn’t even look at me. She never asked how I was doing or even really looked at me. My son has recovered wonderfully-thank goodness-but I won’t forget her coldness and lack of compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my husband's old girlfriend got divorced, she called DH to tell him that "katie" was back on the market again -- you know, in case he wanted to divorce me and our four children in order to pursue her, I guess.

This was my deceased mil! She would have 2 of his exes over to her house. One came into town and she actually let her stay there a week. It blew my mind then I decided after that my kids weren't going to be around her. Long story, but Karma comes back around. We were in the UP of MI vacationing one Xmas. Apparently she went into the hospital then it became very serious. No one could get a hold of DH because they didn't know who we were staying with. (we didn't want them to) Usually if we went out of state they wanted the phone number of the people we were staying with...I'm totally serious. Control freaks! She ended up dying, the rest of his sisters were mad because they had to do all the work while DH was away having fun. I remember my dad advising me to stick it out.he said.."time is on my side". He sure was right!

Not sure that your DH's relatives are the 'control freaks' here. You actually kept your children away from their grandmother because she welcomed her son's former GF into her home??

That is crazy...and sad.

[Anonymous]

My mother in law is wonderful, but I can already tell which of my friends and acquaintances with boys will be god awful MILs...

[Anonymous]

My MIL called me at work right after we got engaged to "make sure I was planning on making her a grandma." I was 23 ad in grad school, I told her I wanted kids but had no intention of babies anytime soon, she explained she believed I was her only shot at grand kids and "she could wait."

[Anonymous]

My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my husband's old girlfriend got divorced, she called DH to tell him that "katie" was back on the market again -- you know, in case he wanted to divorce me and our four children in order to pursue her, I guess.

This was my deceased mil! She would have 2 of his exes over to her house. One came into town and she actually let her stay there a week. It blew my mind then I decided after that my kids weren't going to be around her. Long story, but Karma comes back around. We were in the UP of MI vacationing one Xmas. Apparently she went into the hospital then it became very serious. No one could get a hold of DH because they didn't know who we were staying with. (we didn't want them to) Usually if we went out of state they wanted the phone number of the people we were staying with...I'm totally serious. Control freaks! She ended up dying, the rest of his sisters were mad because they had to do all the work while DH was away having fun. I remember my dad advising me to stick it out.he said.."time is on my side". He sure was right!

Not sure that your DH's relatives are the 'control freaks' here. You actually kept your children away from their grandmother because she welcomed her son's former GF into her home??

That is crazy...and sad.

That was only one of many reasons! The mother and some of his sisters did various things over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL called me a whore and a temptress who led her son astray because we were "living in sin."

Years later, she cried that I was ruining her dream of being a grandmother because DH and I didn't have children.

Yep like my mil...it's all about HER! Behind my back she said I stole my ex husbands house from him, LOL! For one it was our house, we had a very agreeable divorce, and used one mutual attorney. He didn't want the house which was ALL loan at that time. I did. I didn't allow my kids around her unless I was there for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL successfully convinced DH that it wasn’t really my first Mother’s Day because I hadn’t had the baby yet, and getting me a present or otherwise acknowledging the day to me would just be a depressing reminder that I was still pregnant.

I was a week and a half overdue.

Ummmm.... it wasn't your first Mother's Day - you were still pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL successfully convinced DH that it wasn’t really my first Mother’s Day because I hadn’t had the baby yet, and getting me a present or otherwise acknowledging the day to me would just be a depressing reminder that I was still pregnant.

I was a week and a half overdue.

Ummmm.... it wasn't your first Mother's Day - you were still pregnant.

+1

[Anonymous]

Mine did the same thing with a huge grandma shower that I did not attend because we were out of town. However, she never even told us. I found out from my sister in law who asked if we liked something she got for the baby. MIL had kept it of course. While I was pregnant she would go on and on about how excited she was...because she had earned her place to the revered granny. She sent us her credit card bills for all the crap she bought herself to have the best place for her grandchild to come stay and expensive impractical outfits that our kid would never wear. She would try to tell us when she was visiting and when we would say that doesn't work her response was I am visiting my grandchild not you. We would stand firm and she would go on a rant that grand parent rights are equal to parental rights and she *could* take us to court. We said knock yourself out.

She did not dote on her grand child at all. She only showed interest in her as prop or a doll. She liked to show her off but she never wanted to really spend time with her.