Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not my MIL, but my own mom. When I announced I was divorcing my abusive husband, she screamed at me that she would testify against me and make sure I didn’t get custody of my kids. She also worked with my ex and fed him whatever information she had to use against me.

I was kind of baffled by the whole thing- she never gave any indication that she would turn against me, and had left my own father, so it’s not like she was against women leaving their husbands.

Did you ever figure out why she did it, and what was the outcome? Do you have a relationship now? Does she have a relationship with your ex?

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted about this in the past but...it’s worth repeating because it is so insane. My MIL is a cult leader in another country. She claims to be a mind reader, psychic, medium, channel for spirits etc. Fortunately we almost never see her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not my MIL, but my own mom. When I announced I was divorcing my abusive husband, she screamed at me that she would testify against me and make sure I didn’t get custody of my kids. She also worked with my ex and fed him whatever information she had to use against me.

I was kind of baffled by the whole thing- she never gave any indication that she would turn against me, and had left my own father, so it’s not like she was against women leaving their husbands.

That has to be the worst feeling knowing your own mother back stabbed you.

I think that would be the end of the line for me. Do you still talk to her?

No, I refuse to speak with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted about this in the past but...it’s worth repeating because it is so insane. My MIL is a cult leader in another country. She claims to be a mind reader, psychic, medium, channel for spirits etc. Fortunately we almost never see her.

Mine blew all her money (hundreds of thousands) on woo woo shit like pilgrimage trips and reiki healers for her dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not my MIL, but my own mom. When I announced I was divorcing my abusive husband, she screamed at me that she would testify against me and make sure I didn’t get custody of my kids. She also worked with my ex and fed him whatever information she had to use against me.

I was kind of baffled by the whole thing- she never gave any indication that she would turn against me, and had left my own father, so it’s not like she was against women leaving their husbands.

Did you ever figure out why she did it, and what was the outcome? Do you have a relationship now? Does she have a relationship with your ex?

I think she resents me because when she left my dad, she tried to turn me against him and was unable to. In her mind I chose him over her. Unfortunately my siblings have also bought into this, so I don’t speak with any of them. They still speak to my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Told my 6 month old baby “when you are a teenager and you hate your parents you can always come and stay with grandma as long as you want!” Remember this is a 6 month old who can’t understand her. The only other person in the room- who COULD understand her- was me. Such a bizarre thing to say.

If that bothered you, I would have lightheartedly say, oh Susan, let's not look so far ahead shall we? You might be drooling and needing people to change your diapers at that point! Haha just a joke!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted about this in the past but...it’s worth repeating because it is so insane. My MIL is a cult leader in another country. She claims to be a mind reader, psychic, medium, channel for spirits etc. Fortunately we almost never see her.

Please tell us more! How many followers does she have? What do they believe in? What crazy stuff does the cult do?

[Anonymous]

Suggested we not invite my family to our wedding and instead have a backyard bbq for them so she could invite more of her friends. When that didn't work, insisted I was ruining her life by only letting her invite four of her friends and literally threatened to take a hit out on me.

For context, we paid for our wedding and hosted it at a venue that held 100 people. One of her four friends RSVPd and canceled the day before. Another RSVPd and showed up at 11 pm - the wedding went until midnight.

Also, tried to hire a rabbi for the wedding with zero input from us. We had not even talked about who we wanted to officiate or whether we'd have a Jewish ceremony when I got a random call one day from her rabbi, who I had never met or heard of, inquiring into whether I was willing to convert (no).

[Anonymous]

My MIL has repeatedly asked me to talk to my DH, her son, about his weight issues. Because her nagging hasn’t done anything. So if anything ever happens to him, all the blame will be on me for not doing anything. Not her, the reason for his “bad genes” and bad eating habits.

[Anonymous]

Early on I went over to visit mil simply to get to know her. And so she could see our child. She never bothered learning to drive, so I guess that was a good excuse not to visit others, give gifts on Bdays, Xmas... among other things. At that point I had already heard she wasn't such a nice person. I brought her a gift and thought it was a nice visit. As soon as I left she called my husband telling him I came there to "snoop"....huh? She always talked about everyone behind their back. I guess since she had nothing on me that's all she could come up with, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told my 6 month old baby “when you are a teenager and you hate your parents you can always come and stay with grandma as long as you want!” Remember this is a 6 month old who can’t understand her. The only other person in the room- who COULD understand her- was me. Such a bizarre thing to say.

I don’t get being mad or holding a grudge about this. Just a joke maybe?

She is the same MIL who wouldn’t give me my newborn back in the hospital, so it was part of a pattern of nastiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told my 6 month old baby “when you are a teenager and you hate your parents you can always come and stay with grandma as long as you want!” Remember this is a 6 month old who can’t understand her. The only other person in the room- who COULD understand her- was me. Such a bizarre thing to say.

I don’t get being mad or holding a grudge about this. Just a joke maybe?

But why would she say that to the baby’s mom? It’s passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Oooh man the MIL not giving the baby back in the hospital makes my skin crawl! It's such a vulnerable time and it just feel so overwhelmingly manipulative. Mine did the same thing. After the hearing test, my baby was upset (as they get) and she snatched the baby from the nurse and said "oh he needs his Grandma!" while I sat there with my arms out and my jaw dropping. Thankfully within about 90 seconds it became clear that only mom would do and she gave him to me to nurse, but I almost killed my DH for not stepping in.

[Anonymous]

This thread is making my own MIL look good, and we really don't have a thing in common.

OTOH I never heard of a 'grandma shower' and I wish I had not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted about this in the past but...it’s worth repeating because it is so insane. My MIL is a cult leader in another country. She claims to be a mind reader, psychic, medium, channel for spirits etc. Fortunately we almost never see her.

Dude winner. I have a friend whose brother is basically this but stateside