How to vacation and not appear as though you have an eating disorder?

[Anonymous]

We will soon be vacationing with family. I recently changed my whole lifestyle and I’ve shed a good amount of weight. But I don’t eat like a normal person, especially a normal person who indulges to the max on vacation. I’ve changed my eating completely, and I don’t want to look disordered.

Example: This morning, one of the people going posted about a popular breakfast smorgasbord. Platters of family style breakfast food. My normal breakfast is a couple egg whites and a couple pieces of turkey breakfast sausage, maybe half a bagel if I’ll be particularly active that morning. If I eat this at the breakfast smorgasbord, I’ll surely be judged by my family (most overweight, unhealthy, or just your run of the mill vacation indulgent).

I don’t eat burgers/sandwiches with buns (or I take off the bun), I like dressing on the side, I’m not a huge carb eater. If you’re similar, how do you manage the expectations/judgements of those you eat with?

[Anonymous]

Just do you and try not to worry about what other people think.

I already rock the boat a little by being the married lesbian in my Southern family. A couple of years ago at the beach DW was doing a gluten free diet (on top of being vegetarian) because it was part of her IVF protocol. We had to make entirely separately meals for her. We survived. You will too.

[Anonymous]

You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

No. I have no self control and I own it. I know in my heart of hearts that I will continue eating like crap once I get back home if I allow myself to do so on this vacation. Vacations have ruined every single attempt at weight loss over the last few years, and I refuse to give in again this time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you do have an eating disorder?
How much weight have you lost?

[Anonymous]

I was easily able to maintain my low-carb lifestyle on a cruise last year. With a buffet/smorgasbord, it's easy to tailor your meals.Who cares what other people think.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a totally normal breakfast to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

No. I have no self control and I own it. I know in my heart of hearts that I will continue eating like crap once I get back home if I allow myself to do so on this vacation. Vacations have ruined every single attempt at weight loss over the last few years, and I refuse to give in again this time.

Are you using any kind of tracker or points system? Maybe use one to plan what you can eat at the places that are being suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was easily able to maintain my low-carb lifestyle on a cruise last year. With a buffet/smorgasbord, it's easy to tailor your meals.Who cares what other people think.

I’m hoping I’m assuming it’ll be more annoying than it actually will be. I know a few of the women going are the “I deserve this” types who try to guilt you into “being bad” with them so they feel better. I just don’t want to argue at every meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We will soon be vacationing with family. I recently changed my whole lifestyle and I’ve shed a good amount of weight. But I don’t eat like a normal person, especially a normal person who indulges to the max on vacation. I’ve changed my eating completely, and I don’t want to look disordered.

Example: This morning, one of the people going posted about a popular breakfast smorgasbord. Platters of family style breakfast food. My normal breakfast is a couple egg whites and a couple pieces of turkey breakfast sausage, maybe half a bagel if I’ll be particularly active that morning. If I eat this at the breakfast smorgasbord, I’ll surely be judged by my family (most overweight, unhealthy, or just your run of the mill vacation indulgent).

I don’t eat burgers/sandwiches with buns (or I take off the bun), I like dressing on the side, I’m not a huge carb eater. If you’re similar, how do you manage the expectations/judgements of those you eat with?

You can't manage the expectations and judgments of others. Be prepared to either explain yourself (not recommended) or let them know you don't want to talk about what you're eating if they bring it up.

[Anonymous]

You can eat almost everything if you eat small portions. So don't make a huge deal about OMG no dessert; just take a few bites of a dessert that looks great. Instead of ordering your own dessert, order a tea or something to participate in the dessert experience.

There is nothing unusual or even particularly "diet-y" about the breakfast you described, just so you know. As long as you don't loudly comment "OMG NO PASTRIES OMG FAT," no one will notice if you don't get a pastry or something.

Dressing on the side is NBD; how do you not realize that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

No. I have no self control and I own it. I know in my heart of hearts that I will continue eating like crap once I get back home if I allow myself to do so on this vacation. Vacations have ruined every single attempt at weight loss over the last few years, and I refuse to give in again this time.

NP. Clearly you don't "own it" if you can't nut up and open your mouth to tell family and friends: "It all looks amazing, guys. I just know myself and I know I don't have self-control. I honestly can't fall off the wagon. Please enjoy, and I envy you a bit, but please don't push me. I've lost weight and I feel good about my choices right now."

[Anonymous]

Your breakfast sounds totally normal. I'm not dieting but I just can't really eat much breakfast. I've always been this way and I'm surprised at the amount of food most people can eat when I can barely choke down one egg. Pancakes/waffles make me shaky. I have no trouble going to breakfast places and ordering an egg, fruit and coffee and sitting with everyone else though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was easily able to maintain my low-carb lifestyle on a cruise last year. With a buffet/smorgasbord, it's easy to tailor your meals.Who cares what other people think.

I’m hoping I’m assuming it’ll be more annoying than it actually will be. I know a few of the women going are the “I deserve this” types who try to guilt you into “being bad” with them so they feel better. I just don’t want to argue at every meal.

Then don't argue.

It literally takes two people to argue.

If they push you, just roll your eyes, or smile and shrug. And then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Don't be defensive about your diet. Practice saying "this meal works for me" shrug, and then pivot "are you excited about the snorkeling/museum later? I can't wait to do x".

Don't judge other people who eating more/worse than you.

In general, don't talk about food or weight loss. Talk about other things.

If you focus only on how you eat X or Y to help you lose weight, you will start a discussion. Which is what you don't want. So don't talk about it.