How to vacation and not appear as though you have an eating disorder?

[Anonymous]

OP, they have to get to know the new you. They have to get to know it sometime, so now's the time. Resist explaining. Just do. If it becomes a constant, that they want to know, then have a sentence or two to give them to explain. Do not go-off on a diatribe about your new found concern for better health, but you also don't have to listen to their version either.

[Anonymous]

You can do this OP. I know your family is going to give you sh!t, but resist. Just say no thank you, it doesn't make me feel good. Or give no explaination at all beyond no thank you.

[Anonymous]

You won't unless you talk about it. Posting here means you probably talk endlessly about your diet. Nobody notices otherwise. In fact, my overweight SIL commented during dinner at a restaurant how much I eat and still am slim. She never noticed I got no bun, got no fries, got no soda, but just water. Don't act like a vegan that talks about being vegan all the time, and nobody will notice. My own sister acts like my SIL, as does my mom. So, even if they notice something, shrug it off and they will stop within an hour. Life truly is about not making a big deal out of nothing. The skill most of us lack, yes me included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You won't unless you talk about it. Posting here means you probably talk endlessly about your diet.

Exactly--I suspect OP talks nonstop about her diet and is insufferable to be around. Just put the food on your plate and eat it. Nobody cares unless you are doing something to bring attention to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You won't unless you talk about it. Posting here means you probably talk endlessly about your diet.

Exactly--I suspect OP talks nonstop about her diet and is insufferable to be around. Just put the food on your plate and eat it. Nobody cares unless you are doing something to bring attention to yourself.

And surely a smorgasbord of that size will have some eggs? Probably even boiled ones, so you can skip the yolk. If people really cared about other people, why dcum would not exist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was easily able to maintain my low-carb lifestyle on a cruise last year. With a buffet/smorgasbord, it's easy to tailor your meals.Who cares what other people think.

I’m hoping I’m assuming it’ll be more annoying than it actually will be. I know a few of the women going are the “I deserve this” types who try to guilt you into “being bad” with them so they feel better. I just don’t want to argue at every meal.

Enjoying food is not “being bad”.

It’s awesome you are concerned about your diet, but stop being so judgmental. That’s your biggest problem....not a buffet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was easily able to maintain my low-carb lifestyle on a cruise last year. With a buffet/smorgasbord, it's easy to tailor your meals.Who cares what other people think.

I’m hoping I’m assuming it’ll be more annoying than it actually will be. I know a few of the women going are the “I deserve this” types who try to guilt you into “being bad” with them so they feel better. I just don’t want to argue at every meal.

Enjoying food is not “being bad”.

It’s awesome you are concerned about your diet, but stop being so judgmental. That’s your biggest problem....not a buffet.

All. Of. This.

No one should make any comments about your eating, OP. But neither should you make judgments or comments.

Two weeks ago, I was at a Vegas buffet. That will be the first/last/only time I'll experience that. So did I go wheels up? You bet I did. But I don't eat like that often. I don't need to be judged on vacation for indulging any more than you do for eating the way you want to eat.

[Anonymous]

A few lines that have helped me when people try to get me to eat something that would derail a weight loss effort:

(In response to suggestions of ordering more food or a heavier meal) I have really been craving exactly what I ordered -- I was thinking about it all morning/ afternoon/ evening.

(In response to encouragements to have another glass of wine) If I have that I'll fall asleep sitting up at the table.

(In response to encouragements to order dessert/ split dessert) I'm perfectly stuffed right now and don't want to be uncomfortable. I'll have to save room for it another time. OR You know, bread pudding/ bananas foster/ etc has never been a favorite of mine. Nothing on this dessert menu is speaking to me. I wonder if they'd bring me something simple like fresh fruit or sorbet if I asked for it? (then people will change the conversation to speculation on whether or not the restaurant will be accommodating)

Agree with PPs who said not to talk about your weight loss efforts. If someone comments or compliments you, it is perfectly acceptable to say thank you and let them know that it was difficult in the beginning but now your body is craving the foods you are fueling it with and you don't feel that great when you eat larger portions or heavier foods.

I went on a group vacation before my wedding and I was pretty focused on losing weight/ not gaining. I found just giving a simple answer and then quickly changing to subject to ask someone else a question worked 99% of the time. "I am not really in the mood for french fries. By the way, I might have forgotten my sunscreen, did anyone else pack some?" Just shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few lines that have helped me when people try to get me to eat something that would derail a weight loss effort:

(In response to suggestions of ordering more food or a heavier meal) I have really been craving exactly what I ordered -- I was thinking about it all morning/ afternoon/ evening.

(In response to encouragements to have another glass of wine) If I have that I'll fall asleep sitting up at the table.

(In response to encouragements to order dessert/ split dessert) I'm perfectly stuffed right now and don't want to be uncomfortable. I'll have to save room for it another time. OR You know, bread pudding/ bananas foster/ etc has never been a favorite of mine. Nothing on this dessert menu is speaking to me. I wonder if they'd bring me something simple like fresh fruit or sorbet if I asked for it? (then people will change the conversation to speculation on whether or not the restaurant will be accommodating)

Agree with PPs who said not to talk about your weight loss efforts. If someone comments or compliments you, it is perfectly acceptable to say thank you and let them know that it was difficult in the beginning but now your body is craving the foods you are fueling it with and you don't feel that great when you eat larger portions or heavier foods.

I went on a group vacation before my wedding and I was pretty focused on losing weight/ not gaining. I found just giving a simple answer and then quickly changing to subject to ask someone else a question worked 99% of the time. "I am not really in the mood for french fries. By the way, I might have forgotten my sunscreen, did anyone else pack some?" Just shut it down.

No, it's not "perfectly acceptable" to yammer on sanctimoniously. A simple "thank you" to a compliment suffices. To a general comment like, "are you on Atkins," a very simple, "No, just limiting carbs and watching my portions" is fine. Beyond that is just inane and braggy. Because you're sooooo virtuous that "my body craves the food I'm fueling with it" gak, ugh, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few lines that have helped me when people try to get me to eat something that would derail a weight loss effort:

(In response to suggestions of ordering more food or a heavier meal) I have really been craving exactly what I ordered -- I was thinking about it all morning/ afternoon/ evening.

(In response to encouragements to have another glass of wine) If I have that I'll fall asleep sitting up at the table.

(In response to encouragements to order dessert/ split dessert) I'm perfectly stuffed right now and don't want to be uncomfortable. I'll have to save room for it another time. OR You know, bread pudding/ bananas foster/ etc has never been a favorite of mine. Nothing on this dessert menu is speaking to me. I wonder if they'd bring me something simple like fresh fruit or sorbet if I asked for it? (then people will change the conversation to speculation on whether or not the restaurant will be accommodating)

Agree with PPs who said not to talk about your weight loss efforts. If someone comments or compliments you, it is perfectly acceptable to say thank you and let them know that it was difficult in the beginning but now your body is craving the foods you are fueling it with and you don't feel that great when you eat larger portions or heavier foods.

I went on a group vacation before my wedding and I was pretty focused on losing weight/ not gaining. I found just giving a simple answer and then quickly changing to subject to ask someone else a question worked 99% of the time. "I am not really in the mood for french fries. By the way, I might have forgotten my sunscreen, did anyone else pack some?" Just shut it down.

No, it's not "perfectly acceptable" to yammer on sanctimoniously. A simple "thank you" to a compliment suffices. To a general comment like, "are you on Atkins," a very simple, "No, just limiting carbs and watching my portions" is fine. Beyond that is just inane and braggy. Because you're sooooo virtuous that "my body craves the food I'm fueling with it" gak, ugh, no.

I don't think its braggy to let a friend know that you're happy and feeling good, if that's the truth and they initiated the conversation. It's really OK to share your happiness and success with friends and family, particularly if they are trying to engage you.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I’m sorry I gave the impression I bring up my diet or weight at all! I absolutely do not do that, in fact, I’d prefer not to talk about it with anyone. But my family is food obsessed and I’m not judging, just stating fact. I sure don’t tell them they don’t need that extra slice of pizza, and they should give me the same respect and not tell me I need a slice. (“You’re on vacation. Have it. HAVE IT! Be bad with us! You deserve this!”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about this as much as you do.

Just don’t say a word about what you or anyone else is eating. I don’t want to hear about your diet; I’ll be secretly eye rolling. Just eat what you eat and move on with it.

I don't agree with this. People who see you losing weight, or view you as thin, will sometimes try to push food on you to make themselves feel better. Nobody likes somebody who has better will power than they have.

[Anonymous]

You should put up a firm wall about commenting on your diet by explaining calmly and clearly that you want them to stop whenever they do it.

It's probably mostly carelessness and habit, not malice. The first time a person makes a comment, in a calm, low voice say "Joe, I know you mean well, but I prefer not to discuss what I'm eating with you. I appreciate you respecting that boundary."

If Joe repeat offends, make it clear that it's a repeat correction. "Joe, I've asked you once already not to discuss my diet. It's a personal choice and having you comment on it makes my vacation less fun. Please stop."

Someone might bristle but it's a perfectly reasonable boundary and look at it this way - if you swallow it, there's already X total discomfort, all of it on you, and almost no chance it stops there. By calmly and appropriately subjecting Joe to only a little discomfort, you probably stop the cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

No. I have no self control and I own it. I know in my heart of hearts that I will continue eating like crap once I get back home if I allow myself to do so on this vacation. Vacations have ruined every single attempt at weight loss over the last few years, and I refuse to give in again this time.

NP. Clearly you don't "own it" if you can't nut up and open your mouth to tell family and friends: "It all looks amazing, guys. I just know myself and I know I don't have self-control. I honestly can't fall off the wagon. Please enjoy, and I envy you a bit, but please don't push me. I've lost weight and I feel good about my choices right now."

You clearly don't have a dysfunctional family. Consider yourself lucky.

Babe, I do have dysfunctional family members. I CHOOSE not to vacation with them. See how that works?

who tf is "babe"

[Anonymous]

Tell them you are part of a food study at GW or the NIH. That you are getting paid some amount of money to follow a certain diet. That you are worried that if you gain a lot of weight you won’t get paid.

Or, don’t eat breakfast with them.