How to vacation and not appear as though you have an eating disorder?

[Anonymous]

Eat how you see fit. Make no comments yourself but be prepared with a few responses if pushed to eat unhealthy

- I just feel better eating this way
- my doctor said it was important to maintain my diet for my health
- I am not judging what you eat, so please do not judge me
- this is how I enjoy myself

Whatever you are comfortable saying and repeat. I totally get the concern. Some people can only enjoy themselves if everyone is eating crap. Be strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I’m sorry I gave the impression I bring up my diet or weight at all! I absolutely do not do that, in fact, I’d prefer not to talk about it with anyone. But my family is food obsessed and I’m not judging, just stating fact. I sure don’t tell them they don’t need that extra slice of pizza, and they should give me the same respect and not tell me I need a slice. (“You’re on vacation. Have it. HAVE IT! Be bad with us! You deserve this!”)

So the advice to not bring it up isn't to counter you yammering about it all the time. It's to just take Food and Diet off the list for conversations entirely. You have to NOT ENGAGE in a debate with your pushy family members. That's the point. If you go somewhere and eat egg whites and they are shoving waffles at you, just say "no thank you". If your family is really so pushy that they won't drop it, then I'd find ways to spend meals apart here and there. Maybe have dinner together, but be too busy the rest of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

Not everyone is a fat ass.

Please don't be mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your breakfast sounds normal. They sound pushy and like over-eaters. Stay strong, OP!

This. OP, your relatives are the ones with the eating disorder, though it's so common most people can't even recognize it in themselves. Overweight people lie to themselves and tell themselves they are eating normal portions, or they are "just having a treat", or that there is nothing wrong with "indulging a little". They also reassure themselves that their weight gain is out of their control. When they meet someone who has lost weight by eating normal sized portions it makes them defensive because it threatens every lie they are telling themselves. I mean, just look at the number of people who have jumped in on this thread to find fault with you. "OP lost weight by eating less? I don't want to eat less! La la la OP must be really annoying and talk about this all the time. I'm going to accuse her of that!"

As overweight over eaters, your relatives will find fault with you no matter what you do, the same way alcoholics complain that people who drink less "can't relax and have a good time" or "join in the celebration." You will just have to be strong and remember the things they say are related to their pathology and not you. You will not be able to control their comments, you can only not engage. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your breakfast sounds normal. They sound pushy and like over-eaters. Stay strong, OP!

This. OP, your relatives are the ones with the eating disorder, though it's so common most people can't even recognize it in themselves. Overweight people lie to themselves and tell themselves they are eating normal portions, or they are "just having a treat", or that there is nothing wrong with "indulging a little". They also reassure themselves that their weight gain is out of their control. When they meet someone who has lost weight by eating normal sized portions it makes them defensive because it threatens every lie they are telling themselves. I mean, just look at the number of people who have jumped in on this thread to find fault with you. "OP lost weight by eating less? I don't want to eat less! La la la OP must be really annoying and talk about this all the time. I'm going to accuse her of that!"

As overweight over eaters, your relatives will find fault with you no matter what you do, the same way alcoholics complain that people who drink less "can't relax and have a good time" or "join in the celebration." You will just have to be strong and remember the things they say are related to their pathology and not you. You will not be able to control their comments, you can only not engage. Good luck to you!

DP. People who are dieting and/or losing weight talk about food all the time. OP is dieting and/or losing weight but wants to avoid talking about food *during vacation/while visiting family*. The way to do that is to not talk about food. The reason she's worried about it is because she knows that she talks about food all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your breakfast sounds normal. They sound pushy and like over-eaters. Stay strong, OP!

This. OP, your relatives are the ones with the eating disorder, though it's so common most people can't even recognize it in themselves. Overweight people lie to themselves and tell themselves they are eating normal portions, or they are "just having a treat", or that there is nothing wrong with "indulging a little". They also reassure themselves that their weight gain is out of their control. When they meet someone who has lost weight by eating normal sized portions it makes them defensive because it threatens every lie they are telling themselves. I mean, just look at the number of people who have jumped in on this thread to find fault with you. "OP lost weight by eating less? I don't want to eat less! La la la OP must be really annoying and talk about this all the time. I'm going to accuse her of that!"

+1.

As overweight over eaters, your relatives will find fault with you no matter what you do, the same way alcoholics complain that people who drink less "can't relax and have a good time" or "join in the celebration." You will just have to be strong and remember the things they say are related to their pathology and not you. You will not be able to control their comments, you can only not engage. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everybody is eating like that. NBD. Everyone takes buns off, dressing on side, etc.

No, no they dont.

Yes, yes they do. -np

Ew, no. I’m not eating a burger without a bun, that’s absurd. You do you, but don’t act like the rest of us have to be that strict to maintain a healthy weight.

Actually, most fast-food burger buns are gross. I think maybe Shake Shack is the only bun worth eating. Lettuce burgers are actually really delicious -- kind of like Vietnamese lettuce wraps. Maintaining a healthy weight in an obesogenic setting unfortunately does require doing things like taking the bun off, sometimes. Not all the time, but if you're on a vacation where you don't have control over your diet the way you do at home, then removing the bun is one way to keep things on track over all.

[Anonymous]

Above pp - I meant, +1

[Anonymous]

I feel for Op. Vacations affect diet big time. I can only think Salad trips to Whole Foods and pre planning as much as possible. Avoid soda and drink coconut water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everybody is eating like that. NBD. Everyone takes buns off, dressing on side, etc.

No, no they dont.

Yes, yes they do. -np

Ew, no. I’m not eating a burger without a bun, that’s absurd. You do you, but don’t act like the rest of us have to be that strict to maintain a healthy weight.

Actually, most fast-food burger buns are gross. I think maybe Shake Shack is the only bun worth eating. Lettuce burgers are actually really delicious -- kind of like Vietnamese lettuce wraps. Maintaining a healthy weight in an obesogenic setting unfortunately does require doing things like taking the bun off, sometimes. Not all the time, but if you're on a vacation where you don't have control over your diet the way you do at home, then removing the bun is one way to keep things on track over all.

I love a toasted, buttery bun on my burger. But if I get a burger, I'm not getting it from McDonald's. I'm either going to not care about my diet and eat a burger, bun and all, or I'm going to eat a salad or something else more healthy. When I indulge though, I go all out. (But I don't do keto and the like, so burgers are rare for me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't relax a bit on vacation? Why not just stay home?
You do sound disordered.

No. I have no self control and I own it. I know in my heart of hearts that I will continue eating like crap once I get back home if I allow myself to do so on this vacation. Vacations have ruined every single attempt at weight loss over the last few years, and I refuse to give in again this time.

Good for you OP! I admire your commitment.

[Anonymous]

If you are going on vacation with these people, you must be fairly close to them so they most likely have noticed your weight loss. People who recognize your struggle or are generally polite won't say anything. Only rude or clueless people will make comments - and people like that typically aren't worth worrying about. You can't change how they see things or what they''ll say, so come up with some canned responses you can use when they start making comments. And then avoid those people at meal times if at all possible.

I think people who have issues with food themselves are the biggest offenders about stuff like this - with everyone. Stay true to what works for you. It's YOUR vacation too, so you can choose to spend it however you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everybody is eating like that. NBD. Everyone takes buns off, dressing on side, etc.

No, no they dont.

Yes, yes they do. -np

Ew, no. I’m not eating a burger without a bun, that’s absurd. You do you, but don’t act like the rest of us have to be that strict to maintain a healthy weight.

Actually, most fast-food burger buns are gross. I think maybe Shake Shack is the only bun worth eating. Lettuce burgers are actually really delicious -- kind of like Vietnamese lettuce wraps. Maintaining a healthy weight in an obesogenic setting unfortunately does require doing things like taking the bun off, sometimes. Not all the time, but if you're on a vacation where you don't have control over your diet the way you do at home, then removing the bun is one way to keep things on track over all.

I love a toasted, buttery bun on my burger. But if I get a burger, I'm not getting it from McDonald's. I'm either going to not care about my diet and eat a burger, bun and all, or I'm going to eat a salad or something else more healthy. When I indulge though, I go all out. (But I don't do keto and the like, so burgers are rare for me).

What would you do, hypothetically, on a poorly planned So. Cal roadtrip where In & Out is on the menu basically every day?? Protein style all the way

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others about not talking about your food choices. Don't talk about others choices either- look longingly at their food and ask "how are the french fries- they look great but I can't eat them"? The group will get used to how you eat in a day or so and no one will notice after awhile. If you don't make a deal out of it they probably won't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your breakfast sounds normal. They sound pushy and like over-eaters. Stay strong, OP!

This. OP, your relatives are the ones with the eating disorder, though it's so common most people can't even recognize it in themselves. Overweight people lie to themselves and tell themselves they are eating normal portions, or they are "just having a treat", or that there is nothing wrong with "indulging a little". They also reassure themselves that their weight gain is out of their control. When they meet someone who has lost weight by eating normal sized portions it makes them defensive because it threatens every lie they are telling themselves. I mean, just look at the number of people who have jumped in on this thread to find fault with you. "OP lost weight by eating less? I don't want to eat less! La la la OP must be really annoying and talk about this all the time. I'm going to accuse her of that!"

As overweight over eaters, your relatives will find fault with you no matter what you do, the same way alcoholics complain that people who drink less "can't relax and have a good time" or "join in the celebration." You will just have to be strong and remember the things they say are related to their pathology and not you. You will not be able to control their comments, you can only not engage. Good luck to you!

This. Loads of people have concluded that OP talks about her weight loss -- despite her stating flatly that she doesn't. In my life, the people who do things like that are people who are threatened by the reality that when you stop overeating you lose weight. These are the same people who seek me out to trumpet every BS NTY article claiming that long term weight loss is impossible -- which is weird, because the people saying this to me mostly have known me for more than 20 years and know that I've lost more than 30 pounds and kept if off for about 15 years.