Allow your almost 15 year old daughter to move away for skating with her partner?
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Anonymous
| This has been a *constant* discussion in our house for really years, but seriously for the last few months. My daughter is a skater and has a partner. They are very talented, too talented for the training they get at their home rink. They have been poached by coaches that are extremely well-known and respected in the discipline - it is all a skater could ever want to be coached by them, really. To train with them, the kids would have to move to a different state and live with host families in the area. I just don't know what to think about this and sometimes wonder if I'm a horrible parent by even entertaining the idea or by saying no right away. They have talent, a lot of it. But, I don't know how much that's worth sometimes. They would have each other, although that opens a whole other can of worms (although we love him, trust, him, and are friends with his family, he is still a 16 year old boy). I know no one knows the exact situations we are in but I guess I am wondering, what would you do? I need different points of view to be able to start seeing this clearly. |
Anonymous
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DO they both want to be Olympic skaters? is that their end goal or is skating more of a passion and an interest.
Are they prepared to sacrifice everything (friends, other hobbies etc) for their sport? What is the cost and how does this cost impact the rest of the family? I might be prepared to do it for a short test period to see how it goes IF they want to be Olympians and are prepared to give us everything AND if we could afford it without changing the quality of life for the rest of the family. |
Anonymous
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I've never been in this situations, but as a skating fan I know this is very common. Obviously, for those it works out for it's worth it. Seems like most skaters (especially ice dancers and pairs skaters) need to move at some point when they outgrow their local rink/coaching situation.
As a parent of young kids, I can't put myself in your shoes, but if I could, I think I would want to give my child the opportunity to pursue their dream. |
Anonymous
| I would be afraid of molestation by coaches |
Anonymous
| OP here. I know it's impossible to give all the information/I want to keep some semblance of privacy on here but I will say a few things. 1. Both families are extremely lucky in the fact that cost isn't really a part of the equation here. It certainly factors, but would not make it or break it. 2. The Olympics are absolutely the end goal. These kids are both ridiculously driven, which is part of the reason I hesitate to say no, even though it really goes against my entire being. I really believe they have a chance. |
Anonymous
Or by anyone involved. This is how so many vulnerable children and teens are assaulted. Their parents are not around and are relying on some sort of chaperone. Can you relocate the entire family to where the training is? I realize that means new jobs for the parents, but if this something you really think your child can be successful in, it’s a better choice to go with them than to leave them without parental oversight. |
Anonymous
Can you move to the same city? |
Anonymous
+1. Skating is awful for young girls... I don't know if the fact that she's not a singles skater would make this better or worse. |
Anonymous
This is what would concern me, too. |
Anonymous
| If they’re as promising as you say, of course the answer is she goes. Is it possible for your whole family to move? |
Anonymous
We absolutely cannot uproot the entire family but it is potentially possible that I could move there or at least spend a lot of time there... |
Anonymous
| you need to move as a family. |
Anonymous
Not of course. I don't think I'd do it. The Olympics are amazing but... is it worth all this to win a gold medal in ice skating? Personally, I think investing so much into sports is kind of ridiculous. |
Anonymous
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While not skating, I was a gymnast who moved with my mom at 12 to a gym in Texas (originally from the Midwest) to train with coaches once I outgrew my old gym. By the time we decided to make the move I had already given up “traditional” childhood things. I had been homeschooled, didn’t have time for other hobbies and definitely not other sports. However, I also knew no different. I loved training 30 hours a week and the sport came naturally to me. Due to my size and body shape, coaches were always reaching out to my parents and coach. I ended up competing at the senior elite level before going on to college gymnastics. However, people I trained with went on to be Olympians.
I can’t imagine the sacrifice of my parents now that I am a parent. My dad and siblings ended up moving to TX 2 years after we moved. To offset training costs my mom worked at the gym doing admin work. Looking back I am thankful for the opportunity my parents gave me. I was able to travel the world while representing team USA. However, now as a parent I can’t imagine having to make the same decision. |
Anonymous
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How apropros. Read this article and tell me that's how you want your daughter to turn out in 15 years...
https://thewalrus.ca/the-olympics-are-over-but-tessa-virtue-is-just-getting-started/ |