Allow your almost 15 year old daughter to move away for skating with her partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

You have trouble with reading comprehension.

Don't let your anti male bias get in the way of balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

You have trouble with reading comprehension.

Don't let your anti male bias get in the way of balance.

So you can’t. Thanks for confirming.

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't male sex abuse. The question is would you let your 14 year old live with a host family and train competitively. My answer is no and I'd get an apartment if needed if they had to move and be with my child or entire family move.

[Anonymous]

Isolated data point. I sort of knew an area family with an elite level skater (ice dance). Every year we got an Christmas card detailing the son’s successes and trials/tribulations in the ice dance world. Eventually he moved away to train too. Several of his partners quit due to eating disorders, being burnt out, etc. Eventually he himself snapped, had a breakdown, and disappeared to Canada for months (pretty sure he was still a teenager at this point). Not sure what he’s doing now.

Turns out his mom was sending this Christmas letter to all of her work colleagues and former clients too! I was really disturbed by her over sharing but part of me wonders if it wasn’t partly a PSA warning other parents not to let their kids go down this path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does something like this get a kid into college? No. So my answer would be no. I value education more than sports glory.

Not everyone goes to college.

Some athletes are talented enough that they make a career out of their sport and related interests. Coaching, choreography if applicaple etc.

Doing well in their sport offers opportunities later.

[Anonymous]

Yea, I don't know about this. I would look to successful female skaters and see what they have to say about moving away and training so competitively at such a young age. Mirai Nagasu, Ashley Wagner, Gracie Gold, Tessa Virtue... they've all said they thought it was worth it but probably wouldn't let their own daughters do it. They've all dealt with issues such as eating disorders, sexual abuse, anxiety, body image issues, etc. Do you want that for your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

You have trouble with reading comprehension.

Don't let your anti male bias get in the way of balance.

So you can’t. Thanks for confirming.

DP. I see you have a dim understanding of statistics. Unfortunate.

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer: I have not read all of the posts after page 2

I have friends who were in a similar position 15 years. The family moved to XXXX to be near the coach for a partner related sport. Their child had a medical condition and they were not comfortable with the child being hosted. For them they were comfortable with the host family model - they had hosted children once they were settled in the area. They never needed to really make the same decision - because they would not let their child go with the reasoning of medical.

You know your child, the relationship you have, the safety elements you are putting in place etc.

I think that there probably is a lot as a parent you can do to help support you and your child with this decision. I know some children are ready and some are not.

I also think the dynamics of a sport like ice dancing are different than women's gymnastics - but there are lessons learned and safety items that need to be open conversations about.

[Anonymous]

I am glad it's likely that I'll never have to make this choice.

1 question that hasn't been asked. How many other skaters does their prospective coach(es) coach? Are any of the others about the same age? How much contact will she have w/them? Even if I had to rely on a host family, I'd feel more comfortable if there were other similarly-aged skaters w/whom my D was going to be in regular contact during practice and maybe academic tutoring than if the only similarly aged person my D would have contact w/ for months on end was her skating partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does something like this get a kid into college? No. So my answer would be no. I value education more than sports glory.

Not everyone goes to college.

Some athletes are talented enough that they make a career out of their sport and related interests. Coaching, choreography if applicaple etc.

Doing well in their sport offers opportunities later.

I would prefer my child to go to college but if they were that talented and I could afford it, I would encourage it. You can get your degree later in life, my spouse did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

DP. Don't be stupid. It's well known that sexual abuse of boys is thought to be significantly underreported. But if you don't care about your male children, finding the voluminous discussion about the underreporting of abuse of boys isn't going to help your poor kid.

I think its ironic that the parents arguing this are probably the ones who drop off their kids for sports practice starting at 6-7-8 and leave them for an hour or two and come back not at all concerned about kids in the locker rooms or bathrooms where incidents have and do happen. At least these kids are teens and you teach them to protect or tell a parent. I wouldn't agree to it but I'd also be willing to move if money was not an issue for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

DP. Don't be stupid. It's well known that sexual abuse of boys is thought to be significantly underreported. But if you don't care about your male children, finding the voluminous discussion about the underreporting of abuse of boys isn't going to help your poor kid.

I think its ironic that the parents arguing this are probably the ones who drop off their kids for sports practice starting at 6-7-8 and leave them for an hour or two and come back not at all concerned about kids in the locker rooms or bathrooms where incidents have and do happen. At least these kids are teens and you teach them to protect or tell a parent. I wouldn't agree to it but I'd also be willing to move if money was not an issue for a few years.

So nice of you to create a fictional storyline that has nothing to do with any of this discussion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

DP. Don't be stupid. It's well known that sexual abuse of boys is thought to be significantly underreported. But if you don't care about your male children, finding the voluminous discussion about the underreporting of abuse of boys isn't going to help your poor kid.

I think its ironic that the parents arguing this are probably the ones who drop off their kids for sports practice starting at 6-7-8 and leave them for an hour or two and come back not at all concerned about kids in the locker rooms or bathrooms where incidents have and do happen. At least these kids are teens and you teach them to protect or tell a parent. I wouldn't agree to it but I'd also be willing to move if money was not an issue for a few years.

My kids don't do any sports where they are ever by themselves with adults or in any sort of locker rooms. And they've done a wide variety of sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pairs or dance?

This is an important question, where Olympic aspirations are concerned. US ice dance is really, really crowded at the top right now. It will be hard to break in, even at their ages. If they are pair skaters, on the other hand, the world is their oyster! There is a big void to fill.

I didn’t see if the OP answered this, but I’m guessing dance. Washington FSC has had a number of successful dance teams at the lower levels at recent Nationals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[/b]I would be less worried about my hockey player son being assaulted. I also think teens still need some parental guidance. In this case, the traveling makes the situation harder for a parent. As much as possible I would want to travel with him, and would certainly live near the training facility with him.

You haven't done your research then.

Where are you reading that male hockey players are sexually assaulted more than female athletes? I have seen the studies that speak to all male athletes saying they are sexually assaulted more than female athletes. But when you remove peer to peer sexual assault, then female athletes are more often sexually assualted by adults.

I’m curious what makes hockey player sexual assault more prevelant than female athletes across all sports.

No where did I say "all" female sports.

I was responding to the statement that you should be far less concerned about your teen boy hockey player being sexually abused than your teen gurl figure skater.

Youth elite and travel hockey has been rocked by multiple sex abuse scandals of players by coaches in the past few years. New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Vermont have all had institutionalized sexual abuse of players some to light recently, including one that was discovered when an NHL player who played at very high levels of youth hockey (probably similar to what that poster describes) went public with the abuse he and other players suffered.[b]

You are hiding your head in the sand to think that figure skating girls are more at risk than hockey playing boys. Is it because one wears rhinestones and the others carry sticks?

Frankly, I would worry more about my son than my daughter. There is far less support and way more stigma for a teen boy to speak up about abuse, particularly at the hands of other male teammates (like Damascus football) or by trusted coaches (like Sandusky and countless others).

Again. What studies support your claims that male hockey players are more abused?

Your hysteria must be coming from actual facts. Educate us.

DP. Don't be stupid. It's well known that sexual abuse of boys is thought to be significantly underreported. But if you don't care about your male children, finding the voluminous discussion about the underreporting of abuse of boys isn't going to help your poor kid.

I think its ironic that the parents arguing this are probably the ones who drop off their kids for sports practice starting at 6-7-8 and leave them for an hour or two and come back not at all concerned about kids in the locker rooms or bathrooms where incidents have and do happen. At least these kids are teens and you teach them to protect or tell a parent. I wouldn't agree to it but I'd also be willing to move if money was not an issue for a few years.

My kids don't do any sports where they are ever by themselves with adults or in any sort of locker rooms. And they've done a wide variety of sports.

Mine do. Yours probably are doing rec and not team sports.