Allow your almost 15 year old daughter to move away for skating with her partner?

[Anonymous]

The short answer is no, I would not let her move in with another family. Only you and your husband know in your hearts what to do.

If you can move together as a family then it's a whole other conversation and maybe a yes if she has that much potential and if she wants to be at an Olympic level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How apropros. Read this article and tell me that's how you want your daughter to turn out in 15 years...

https://thewalrus.ca/the-olympics-are-over-but-tessa-virtue-is-just-getting-started/

Huh, that's an interesting article. I remember watching them at the olympics. I'm sure that working your whole life toward one thing for hours and hours on end and then suddenly not having that structure anymore must be a difficult transition. No wonder many olympic athletes wind up depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know it's impossible to give all the information/I want to keep some semblance of privacy on here but I will say a few things. 1. Both families are extremely lucky in the fact that cost isn't really a part of the equation here. It certainly factors, but would not make it or break it. 2. The Olympics are absolutely the end goal. These kids are both ridiculously driven, which is part of the reason I hesitate to say no, even though it really goes against my entire being. I really believe they have a chance.

Can you move to the same city?

We absolutely cannot uproot the entire family but it is potentially possible that I could move there or at least spend a lot of time there...

Do you have other children? Ages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be afraid of molestation by coaches

Or a member of the host family, or anyone in the community who sees a vulnerable young person. I would lean toward not letting her move, but I do think it depends on the particular kid and the case she makes to you.

[Anonymous]

Is she pairs or dance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you need to move as a family.

Or split the family. If money isn’t a problem one parent needs to move. I wouldn’t hand my kids over to anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you need to move as a family.

Absolutely insane.

Is there a pair of retired grandparents that could go? You buy or rent a condo for them and she stays with grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you need to move as a family.

Or split the family. If money isn’t a problem one parent needs to move. I wouldn’t hand my kids over to anyone

But you would abandon your other kid for one kid's dreams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you need to move as a family.

Or split the family. If money isn’t a problem one parent needs to move. I wouldn’t hand my kids over to anyone

But you would abandon your other kid for one kid's dreams?

I don’t think it’s abandoning. They seem to have enough money for frequent visits both ways.

I’d probably be honest with everyone and say we are going to do a six month trial. Two weekends home a month. Then reassess. But be absolutely clear with the skater, partner and partners family it is only a trial. Family comes before everything until the child is 18.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who’s son is traveling the world with the u.s.national under 18 hockey team. Maybe it’s different because he is with an entire team but when they are at the training facility the kids all live with host families. He committed to a D1 school (as much as it is allowed) as a fresh and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NHL draft this year. So for him it’s a dream come true.

[Anonymous]

My kids are not Olympic caliber athletes so I will never have to really decide this.
I personally wouldn’t do the host family thing. I would figure out some other way to do it. Depending on whether you have other kids etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be afraid of molestation by coaches

Or by anyone involved. This is how so many vulnerable children and teens are assaulted. Their parents are not around and are relying on some sort of chaperone.

Can you relocate the entire family to where the training is? I realize that means new jobs for the parents, but if this something you really think your child can be successful in, it’s a better choice to go with them than to leave them without parental oversight.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she pairs or dance?

This is an important question, where Olympic aspirations are concerned. US ice dance is really, really crowded at the top right now. It will be hard to break in, even at their ages. If they are pair skaters, on the other hand, the world is their oyster! There is a big void to fill.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised no one is worried about the partner aspect of all this. Yes, living with a host family/splitting up the family is a huge decision but allowing your 15 year old daughter to move to a different state with a 16 year old boy in an incredibly high stress environment?? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pairs or dance?

This is an important question, where Olympic aspirations are concerned. US ice dance is really, really crowded at the top right now. It will be hard to break in, even at their ages. If they are pair skaters, on the other hand, the world is their oyster! There is a big void to fill.

Oof, I disagree! Your knowledge might be correct but I would never in a million years even allow my child to do pairs, even recreationally. It is so incredibly, horrifyingly dangerous.