Why doesn't my attractive daughter have any boys that like her?

[Anonymous]

I want to start out by saying I am NOT a troll, because I know someone is going to accuse me of being one. But I have a 14 year old daughter who is attractive (but not intimidatingly so) that is very upset because as far as she is aware, no boys like her. She is at an age where a lot of her friends are coupling up, and she hears boys talking about liking other girls she is friends with and is upset that "no one likes her" I try to comfort her of course and tell her that she is young and will meet someone eventually, and that there are probably boys who do like her, but are too shy to say anything, but I have to admit, I also wonder why she is not getting any obvious attention from boys. I have a daughter in 7th grade who often hears about boys who have crushes on her, so I'm not really sure what to think, much less say to my older daughter about why she doesn't get the same attention.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

It’s likely that there are boys who like her, but those aren’t the boys she is chasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s likely that there are boys who like her, but those aren’t the boys she is chasing.

My daughter's not "chasing" anyone. She's way too shy for that. In fact, I think that might be a large part of the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why roll your eyes? Were you never a teenage girl? How would you have felt if all your friends had boys liking them, an no one ever expressed interest in you? This is the kind of thing that bothers teenage girls (and presumably boys as well).

[Anonymous]

Why, I don't know,my model attractive DD now 17, also had no boys chasing her at 14. Which was awesome, because why on earth would I want her to be chased by boys at 14?! She is plenty chased now.... she dated and now she keeps the boys all as friends, as in her words "It is stupid to date now when I am off to college in the summer." You know not all 14 year old boys are into girls, just like many 14 year old girls aren't truly into boys? Quite frankly there is something really wrong with 14 year olds dating, because here it is not innocent gazes and hand holding, here and now it is sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s likely that there are boys who like her, but those aren’t the boys she is chasing.

My daughter's not "chasing" anyone. She's way too shy for that. In fact, I think that might be a large part of the reason.

Ok. Let me rephrase: there are boys who are staring doe-eyed at your daughter, but she doesn’t notice, because she is staring doe-eyed at the “popular” boys her friends are hooking up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why roll your eyes? Were you never a teenage girl? How would you have felt if all your friends had boys liking them, an no one ever expressed interest in you? This is the kind of thing that bothers teenage girls (and presumably boys as well).

Eye roll is called for here. This OP should understand that this is a blessing and tell her DD that 14 year olds who are into boys are not mature enough to know anything about anything. If this is OP, your DD is having out with the wrong crowd, plenty of 14 year olds are not into boys apart from some platonic crushes and gazes, same for boys.

[Anonymous]

She’s probably giving off a vibe that she isn’t interested. At this age, boys are drawn to a more “sure thing”.

[Anonymous]

My 17 DD is gorgeous and brilliant and has not really had a boyfriend. I think she intimidates the boys. I look forward to her meeting some more confident boys in college. Also I believe she is not into sex or drugs/drinking which impacts her popularity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why roll your eyes? Were you never a teenage girl? How would you have felt if all your friends had boys liking them, an no one ever expressed interest in you? This is the kind of thing that bothers teenage girls (and presumably boys as well).

Eye roll is called for here. This OP should understand that this is a blessing and tell her DD that 14 year olds who are into boys are not mature enough to know anything about anything. If this is OP, your DD is having out with the wrong crowd, plenty of 14 year olds are not into boys apart from some platonic crushes and gazes, same for boys.

Look, I would rather not have my 14 year old daughter date. It's not that I want her to have a boyfriend at her age but I hate to see my daughter sad, when to hear her perspective it seems like everyone else either has a boyfriend or someone who likes them. And she in no way, hangs out with a "fast" crowd. She and all her friends are Orchestra nerds, in advanced classes, go to science camps etc. It's quite normal for 14 year olds to express interest in the opposite sex. Who are all these 14 year old kids that aren't yet developing crushes? That would seem to be an anomaly.

[Anonymous]

This is a bizarre thread. Just because a girl is attractive, boys should want to date her? Is it possible she is mean? Has annoying habits? Etc? There are many, many reasons a boy wouldn't want to date a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably giving off a vibe that she isn’t interested. At this age, boys are drawn to a more “sure thing”.

I think this could be it. She is very shy and that probably comes across as standoffish.

[Anonymous]

Boys are weird. There were girls who were decidedly not pretty in my class at that age but they were the most popular because they were worldly, outgoing, sporty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Just because a girl is attractive, boys should want to date her? Is it possible she is mean? Has annoying habits? Etc? There are many, many reasons a boy wouldn't want to date a girl.

She is extremely sweet but very shy. I also think it's possible some boys might be intimidated by her intelligence, which is a nauseating mom thing to say for sure, but I still think there could be some truth to that. But I assure you she is definitely not mean nor has any annoying habits.