Why doesn't my attractive daughter have any boys that like her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably giving off a vibe that she isn’t interested. At this age, boys are drawn to a more “sure thing”.

did you see that in some movie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why roll your eyes? Were you never a teenage girl? How would you have felt if all your friends had boys liking them, an no one ever expressed interest in you? This is the kind of thing that bothers teenage girls (and presumably boys as well).

Eye roll is called for here. This OP should understand that this is a blessing and tell her DD that 14 year olds who are into boys are not mature enough to know anything about anything. If this is OP, your DD is having out with the wrong crowd, plenty of 14 year olds are not into boys apart from some platonic crushes and gazes, same for boys.

Look, I would rather not have my 14 year old daughter date. It's not that I want her to have a boyfriend at her age but I hate to see my daughter sad, when to hear her perspective it seems like everyone else either has a boyfriend or someone who likes them. And she in no way, hangs out with a "fast" crowd. She and all her friends are Orchestra nerds, in advanced classes, go to science camps etc. It's quite normal for 14 year olds to express interest in the opposite sex. Who are all these 14 year old kids that aren't yet developing crushes? That would seem to be an anomaly.

You are not listening. It is not an anomaly despite what your daughter tells you. Many 14 year olds of both genders are not dating. They may be secretly crushing but it isn’t the focus of their lives. At least that is true for my DD’s crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

I have boys and at 14....not so much. Video Games...sure.

As the mother of a 14 year old boy, some boys don't have a clue about how to ask a girl out, express interest in a girl, etc. My son is good looking and there are girls that call and text him. His reaction is 'I don't know why they are doing this'. Um, I do. I let him be who he is and not pressure him to do anything he's not comfortable with. There are savvy boys just like there are savvy girls at this age. They have many years to ask out and be asked out. Maybe she should take the initiative and ask a boy out?

What a 14 year old boy not knowing what to do about the attention girls give him? That’s just crazy all boys know exactly what to do and would never be shy or awkward. Have you had a talk with him...you know like you would have with your daughter? You might want to tell him he does not have to “go out” or have sex with a girl because she is aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys are weird. There were girls who were decidedly not pretty in my class at that age but they were the most popular because they were worldly, outgoing, sporty.

It's true. Boys at that age go more for personality than looks. It changes as they get older and are more influenced by media.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like she is 75 and grew up in the 50s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

I have boys and at 14....not so much. Video Games...sure.

As the mother of a 14 year old boy, some boys don't have a clue about how to ask a girl out, express interest in a girl, etc. My son is good looking and there are girls that call and text him. His reaction is 'I don't know why they are doing this'. Um, I do. I let him be who he is and not pressure him to do anything he's not comfortable with. There are savvy boys just like there are savvy girls at this age. They have many years to ask out and be asked out. Maybe she should take the initiative and ask a boy out?

What a 14 year old boy not knowing what to do about the attention girls give him? That’s just crazy all boys know exactly what to do and would never be shy or awkward. Have you had a talk with him...you know like you would have with your daughter? You might want to tell him he does not have to “go out” or have sex with a girl because she is aggressive.

Is this sarcasm?

My 14 year old still thinks sex and kissing are gross. He's just as immature and childish as I was when I was his age. We're late bloomers in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to start out by saying I am NOT a troll, because I know someone is going to accuse me of being one. But I have a 14 year old daughter who is attractive (but not intimidatingly so) that is very upset because as far as she is aware, no boys like her. She is at an age where a lot of her friends are coupling up, and she hears boys talking about liking other girls she is friends with and is upset that "no one likes her" I try to comfort her of course and tell her that she is young and will meet someone eventually, and that there are probably boys who do like her, but are too shy to say anything, but I have to admit, I also wonder why she is not getting any obvious attention from boys. I have a daughter in 7th grade who often hears about boys who have crushes on her, so I'm not really sure what to think, much less say to my older daughter about why she doesn't get the same attention.

Perhaps ask your DD if she is upset that "boys don't seem to pay attention to her" or if she really wants a boyfriend? These are really two different discussions - one is about craving validation, the other is about the responsibilities of dating/relationships. I have this conversation from her perspective as a listening ear vs. a lecture. It's easy for parents to be dismissive because we do know there is all the time in the world. That' a fast way to have a kid shut down and assume that we don't understand what they are experiencing.

I don't know if she really wants a boyfriend, but she is bothered that there doesn't appear to be any boys interested in her, because she thinks she might not be very pretty. -(

pp here- I think this is where you need to emphasize the importance of developing other qualities. Intellect, ambition, compassion, being a reliable/supportive friend-- sure, let her know that she is outwardly pretty and it's only a matter of time before the boys notice, but physical qualities are secondary when it comes to happiness. Being a person of character will help her choose the right relationships and people who appreciate who she is, not just what she looks like.

No, teenagers don't want to hear this, but it's a message they will come to appreciate as they mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

I have boys and at 14....not so much. Video Games...sure.

As the mother of a 14 year old boy, some boys don't have a clue about how to ask a girl out, express interest in a girl, etc. My son is good looking and there are girls that call and text him. His reaction is 'I don't know why they are doing this'. Um, I do. I let him be who he is and not pressure him to do anything he's not comfortable with. There are savvy boys just like there are savvy girls at this age. They have many years to ask out and be asked out. Maybe she should take the initiative and ask a boy out?

What a 14 year old boy not knowing what to do about the attention girls give him? That’s just crazy all boys know exactly what to do and would never be shy or awkward. Have you had a talk with him...you know like you would have with your daughter? You might want to tell him he does not have to “go out” or have sex with a girl because she is aggressive.

Do you know any real boys? You seem clueless and out of touch with actual teen boys living in the DMV right now. Many are just not interested in doing the work of dating and just prefer to chat with girls in a group situation. They might ask a girl to a big dance at school, but very few have a real girlfriend until their Junior year.

Watch out how much you push, Mom. Boys also know that girls (and their Moms) tend to over-orchestrate their dates to the point that it's awkward and uncomfortable. No teen boy is going to seek out an experience like that.

[Anonymous]

OP, your DD is 14. Op, there is something wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a son, not a daughter, but I am a high school teacher, and I would NOT want a daughter (or son) dating at 14.

Encourage her to focus on a hobby or extracurricular. Encourage her to find friends who HAVE hobbies and interests other than boys. The kids who are going places have other things going on in 8/9th grade, and they date later.

[Anonymous]

Most parents are pushing their kids to be gay these days. It's not cool to be straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a son, not a daughter, but I am a high school teacher, and I would NOT want a daughter (or son) dating at 14.

Encourage her to focus on a hobby or extracurricular. Encourage her to find friends who HAVE hobbies and interests other than boys. The kids who are going places have other things going on in 8/9th grade, and they date later.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why roll your eyes? Were you never a teenage girl? How would you have felt if all your friends had boys liking them, an no one ever expressed interest in you? This is the kind of thing that bothers teenage girls (and presumably boys as well).

Eye roll is called for here. This OP should understand that this is a blessing and tell her DD that 14 year olds who are into boys are not mature enough to know anything about anything. If this is OP, your DD is having out with the wrong crowd, plenty of 14 year olds are not into boys apart from some platonic crushes and gazes, same for boys.

Look, I would rather not have my 14 year old daughter date. It's not that I want her to have a boyfriend at her age but I hate to see my daughter sad, when to hear her perspective it seems like everyone else either has a boyfriend or someone who likes them. And she in no way, hangs out with a "fast" crowd. She and all her friends are Orchestra nerds, in advanced classes, go to science camps etc. It's quite normal for 14 year olds to express interest in the opposite sex. Who are all these 14 year old kids that aren't yet developing crushes? That would seem to be an anomaly.

You are not listening. It is not an anomaly despite what your daughter tells you. Many 14 year olds of both genders are not dating. They may be secretly crushing but it isn’t the focus of their lives. At least that is true for my DD’s crowd.

Maybe your DD doesn’t feel comfortable discussing these things with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are obnoxious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like she is 75 and grew up in the 50s

Nope 46 and grew up in the 80’s. And has the world really changed so much that most people would be unphased about not receiving any interest from the opposite sex when it feels to them as if everyone else does?