Why doesn't my attractive daughter have any boys that like her?

[Anonymous]

I would be thrilled. 14 is very young.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, if we take at face value your description of her attractiveness, we are left to conclude that it is her personality that is repelling potential suitors.

[Anonymous]

Girls are never truly happy in high school until they have a boyfriend that they think is hot. Until then it is a circular fireing squad with their girl"friends".

[Anonymous]

Personality, not as attractive as you think, RBF or maybe she stinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls are never truly happy in high school until they have a boyfriend that they think is hot. Until then it is a circular fireing squad with their girl"friends".

I'm the OP and I don't remember high school being that way. Yes, I wanted a boyfriend as well, but I don't ever remember being in any sort of competition with my friends about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Just because a girl is attractive, boys should want to date her? Is it possible she is mean? Has annoying habits? Etc? There are many, many reasons a boy wouldn't want to date a girl.

She is extremely sweet but very shy. I also think it's possible some boys might be intimidated by her intelligence, which is a nauseating mom thing to say for sure, but I still think there could be some truth to that. But I assure you she is definitely not mean nor has any annoying habits.

This is great - the reason boys aren't interested in her is some combination of her being shy and too awesome for them.

Glad to hear you're open to hearing honest answers to the question you asked, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personality, not as attractive as you think, RBF or maybe she stinks

What is RBF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to start out by saying I am NOT a troll, because I know someone is going to accuse me of being one. But I have a 14 year old daughter who is attractive (but not intimidatingly so) that is very upset because as far as she is aware, no boys like her. She is at an age where a lot of her friends are coupling up, and she hears boys talking about liking other girls she is friends with and is upset that "no one likes her" I try to comfort her of course and tell her that she is young and will meet someone eventually, and that there are probably boys who do like her, but are too shy to say anything, but I have to admit, I also wonder why she is not getting any obvious attention from boys. I have a daughter in 7th grade who often hears about boys who have crushes on her, so I'm not really sure what to think, much less say to my older daughter about why she doesn't get the same attention.

Perhaps ask your DD if she is upset that "boys don't seem to pay attention to her" or if she really wants a boyfriend? These are really two different discussions - one is about craving validation, the other is about the responsibilities of dating/relationships. I have this conversation from her perspective as a listening ear vs. a lecture. It's easy for parents to be dismissive because we do know there is all the time in the world. That' a fast way to have a kid shut down and assume that we don't understand what they are experiencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Just because a girl is attractive, boys should want to date her? Is it possible she is mean? Has annoying habits? Etc? There are many, many reasons a boy wouldn't want to date a girl.

She is extremely sweet but very shy. I also think it's possible some boys might be intimidated by her intelligence, which is a nauseating mom thing to say for sure, but I still think there could be some truth to that. But I assure you she is definitely not mean nor has any annoying habits.

This is great - the reason boys aren't interested in her is some combination of her being shy and too awesome for them.

Glad to hear you're open to hearing honest answers to the question you asked, OP.

Well the other answer I'm hearing is that she's mean or stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to start out by saying I am NOT a troll, because I know someone is going to accuse me of being one. But I have a 14 year old daughter who is attractive (but not intimidatingly so) that is very upset because as far as she is aware, no boys like her. She is at an age where a lot of her friends are coupling up, and she hears boys talking about liking other girls she is friends with and is upset that "no one likes her" I try to comfort her of course and tell her that she is young and will meet someone eventually, and that there are probably boys who do like her, but are too shy to say anything, but I have to admit, I also wonder why she is not getting any obvious attention from boys. I have a daughter in 7th grade who often hears about boys who have crushes on her, so I'm not really sure what to think, much less say to my older daughter about why she doesn't get the same attention.

Perhaps ask your DD if she is upset that "boys don't seem to pay attention to her" or if she really wants a boyfriend? These are really two different discussions - one is about craving validation, the other is about the responsibilities of dating/relationships. I have this conversation from her perspective as a listening ear vs. a lecture. It's easy for parents to be dismissive because we do know there is all the time in the world. That' a fast way to have a kid shut down and assume that we don't understand what they are experiencing.

I don't know if she really wants a boyfriend, but she is bothered that there doesn't appear to be any boys interested in her, because she thinks she might not be very pretty. -(

[Anonymous]

Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age.

[Anonymous]

As the mother of a teen boy I have found that the girls he pursues have all made the first "move" or asked him out first. My son and I talk about the girls he likes and has gone out with I always ask him how he met them and without a doubt they have all approached him 1st. He has met most of his girl friends through his other friends at soccer or football games or the mall or through social media.

At this age she should just hang out, be friendly, I am sure there are guys who like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

[Anonymous]

Boys her age are childish
It is rare for a girl her age to like any of them

Or
Perhaps your kid is gay

[Anonymous]

careful what you wish for. The boys will come around sooner or later.