A question for SAHM's - would you be annoyed if your husband came home for lunch 4 days per week?

[Anonymous]

My husband has been doing this since our son was born 3 years ago. He used to work from home but now he just comes home for lunch Monday- Thursday. It's not normal to be around your spouse this much, right? It's disruptive to our sons nap schedule and my husband is only here for 15-20 minutes. Our son gets upset because he wants to play with dada. Is this one of those things I should just suck up and deal with? I think a lot a lot of it is in my head. I feel guilty that the house looks messy or I haven't cooked dinner yet or this or that. We also live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Sometimes our son is napping and he wakes up because he hears the front door open. Today I just blew up at my husband and told him to stop coming home. He gave our son puzzles that I had put away on purpose because of the mess he creates. Some days he will give him play dough for example and it creates such a mess! I am scrubbing the rub for hours after this. I remember my husbands friend made a comment about my husband working from home all the time when our son was a newborn. He asked us how we can stand being around each other 247. It got me thinking that it may not be a good idea to see each other everyday for lunch. On Fridays my husband goes to a church lunch and he always annoys me every Friday and ask if I am coming too.

[Anonymous]

I would love it, actually.

The child will adjust but if you make your DH feel like he cant do this it can have a very negative ripple effect on your marriage and your DH's relationship with his child. Don't go down that road. Apologize and ask forgiveness. Tell him you love to see him during the day. Fake it.

[Anonymous]

He wants to see his son. He has just as much right to see his son as you. You are staying at home because you want to see your son.

[Anonymous]

Why would you feel guilty that you haven't made dinner by lunch time? That makes no sense.

You and your DH need to communicate - he needs to know the nap schedule and come home before nap time or after.

[Anonymous]

Ask him to time it so it doesn't interfere with naps and tell him when he's giving toys that are not out for a reason - don't wait and scrub for hours or blow up at him.

But other than that, no I would not mind. Stop feeling guilty for not having dinner ready at lunchtime, that's nuts. If you have a one-bedroom apartment and a toddler it's going to be messy, that's life. But I wouldn't tell him to stop coming home, just work with him so it's a pleasant part of your schedule and not an interruption.

[Anonymous]

I wish my husband did this! He goes to the gym and eats out insteD

[Anonymous]

Ask him to avoid nap time

[Anonymous]

Does he come home at the same time very day?
Can he text in the am when he knows what time he will be home so you can plan around it?
I think its fine.

If DC is asleep and can hear the front door open you need to put white noise in his room. Fan, noise machine, whatever.

[Anonymous]

He wants to see your son. He has flexibility to do this. He is not complaining about the state of your apartment. Chill out. Bring your son and go to church lunch. Be happy your DH wants to be with his family.

[Anonymous]

Mine is home for lunch all the time. I love it.

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. I would be annoyed. Some days I need my alone time. Time away makes the heart grow fonder. Does your DH expect you to make lunch everyday? Coming home for lunch everyday is too much.

[Anonymous]

My DH comes home for lunch often and we love it. if your son is 3, he should be dropping the nap soon anyway, or you could easily push it to a little later.

You say it's in your head- does your DH pressure you to have a spotless house, or dinner cooked at lunchtime? If not, just chill. My DH and I both recognize that our house is going to be a mess for awhile, and that it's more important for me to enrich our kid's life than clean all day. Kids need loving parents more than they need a spotless house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to avoid nap time

+1. Any nap interruption would annoy me, be it DH or anyone else!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I would be annoyed. Some days I need my alone time. Time away makes the heart grow fonder. Does your DH expect you to make lunch everyday? Coming home for lunch everyday is too much.

Don’t you have alone time between when he leaves for the office and between lunch and the end of the day? Asking this as a former SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?