A question for SAHM's - would you be annoyed if your husband came home for lunch 4 days per week?

[Anonymous]

Uh no. You're saying he can't come to HIS house to eat and see his kid (both of which he's working to pay for) because it makes you feel guilty? You sound crazy and selfish.

[Anonymous]

You sound exceedingly insecure and anxious about your housework and parenting. Please realize this before you drive everyone away with unreasonable expectations and anger.

My husband and I are home every day, due to our work arrangements. I don't mind where he works, or when he comes home. If yours disturbs the baby, then ask him not to. Plenty of options in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

When the child is a baby, I think it's a fine idea if you can swing it. I'd say it's harder when the child is older, like op's child's age, because transitions get more difficult, and stopping by for 15 minutes can be incredibly disruptive. I've done the WAH thing, and I can see why op is having a hard time with it. I had sitters to look after my kids while I worked, and I know popping in for 15 minutes would have been far more trouble than it was worth at that age.

[Anonymous]

What on Earth is your son doing with play dough that it causes you to scrub for hours. That's not normal. You sound insecure and anxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I would be annoyed. Some days I need my alone time. Time away makes the heart grow fonder. Does your DH expect you to make lunch everyday? Coming home for lunch everyday is too much.

Lunch and a blowie. I would leave you if you were my wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What on Earth is your son doing with play dough that it causes you to scrub for hours. That's not normal. You sound insecure and anxious.

This. My kid gets play doh all over the house and it takes me 15 minutes tops to clean it up.

Also, my life became much happier once I stopped stressing over having the perfect, spotless home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

When the child is a baby, I think it's a fine idea if you can swing it. I'd say it's harder when the child is older, like op's child's age, because transitions get more difficult, and stopping by for 15 minutes can be incredibly disruptive. I've done the WAH thing, and I can see why op is having a hard time with it. I had sitters to look after my kids while I worked, and I know popping in for 15 minutes would have been far more trouble than it was worth at that age.

I'll keep this in mind. Though my wife seems to be more on a lax side, but who knows how she'll get once the kiddo comes along.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would find that annoying, just because it kind of disrupts the flow of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

When the child is a baby, I think it's a fine idea if you can swing it. I'd say it's harder when the child is older, like op's child's age, because transitions get more difficult, and stopping by for 15 minutes can be incredibly disruptive. I've done the WAH thing, and I can see why op is having a hard time with it. I had sitters to look after my kids while I worked, and I know popping in for 15 minutes would have been far more trouble than it was worth at that age.

This is so stupid. The kid will survive even if daddy comes home 4x a week for lunch break. Psycho DCUMers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been doing this since our son was born 3 years ago. He used to work from home but now he just comes home for lunch Monday- Thursday. It's not normal to be around your spouse this much, right? It's disruptive to our sons nap schedule and my husband is only here for 15-20 minutes. Our son gets upset because he wants to play with dada. Is this one of those things I should just suck up and deal with? I think a lot a lot of it is in my head. I feel guilty that the house looks messy or I haven't cooked dinner yet or this or that. We also live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Sometimes our son is napping and he wakes up because he hears the front door open. Today I just blew up at my husband and told him to stop coming home. He gave our son puzzles that I had put away on purpose because of the mess he creates. Some days he will give him play dough for example and it creates such a mess! I am scrubbing the rub for hours after this. I remember my husbands friend made a comment about my husband working from home all the time when our son was a newborn. He asked us how we can stand being around each other 247. It got me thinking that it may not be a good idea to see each other everyday for lunch. On Fridays my husband goes to a church lunch and he always annoys me every Friday and ask if I am coming too.

First, you have been dealing with this FOR THREE YEARS and have stored that much pent up anger and are only now complaining about it? What the hell is wrong with your communication with your spouse?

Second, my husband and I finally work close enough to each other to have lunch together some days and it's awesome. You don't want to see him for an extra 15 minutes a day? You think that's too much? How much other time do you spend with him? I find this to be super weird.

Third, your kid is 3 - what time is he napping and what time is your husband coming home? Also, where does your kid sleep in a one-bedroom apartment?

Fourth, you need to have a serious talk about you being a SAHM. It sounds like either your husband resents that you don't work outside the house or you have some anxiety/insecurity about your decision.

Fifth, do you not have a white noise machine? A fan? Something? We lived in a two-bedroom apartment when our twins were that age and they would never wake up from someone coming or going through the front door.

Ugh, there's so much more. You may need to talk to someone in real life. Your anxiety is off the charts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

PP, how old are you? I don't think I'm that old but I don't know a single dad that would say "the wife" and "kiddo" and "hubs"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I would be annoyed. Some days I need my alone time. Time away makes the heart grow fonder. Does your DH expect you to make lunch everyday? Coming home for lunch everyday is too much.

Don’t you have alone time between when he leaves for the office and between lunch and the end of the day? Asking this as a former SAHM.

OP here: Nap time is my alone time. My husband doesn't come at a consistent time everyday. Some days it's 1 pm and others it's between 2-3 pm. The play dough thing was just an example. I got the play dough from Lush. It's play dough and soap. We have a sisal rug and yes I did have to scrub our rug for an hour one day. I told my husband not to give our son this play dough and his response was, "so what. he likes playing with it!" 15 minutes isn't really enough time to be helpful. He's focused on eating his lunch and freshening up in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

PP, how old are you? I don't think I'm that old but I don't know a single dad that would say "the wife" and "kiddo" and "hubs"...

32.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be dad here. I plan on stopping by during lunch breaks to see the wife and soon to be kiddo. I would assume the wife would love to see me at home helping change a diaper, feed, or play with the little one, but this post has got me thinking! Maybe moms that have given birth recently, don't want too much contact with their hubs?

When the child is a baby, I think it's a fine idea if you can swing it. I'd say it's harder when the child is older, like op's child's age, because transitions get more difficult, and stopping by for 15 minutes can be incredibly disruptive. I've done the WAH thing, and I can see why op is having a hard time with it. I had sitters to look after my kids while I worked, and I know popping in for 15 minutes would have been far more trouble than it was worth at that age.

This is so stupid. The kid will survive even if daddy comes home 4x a week for lunch break. Psycho DCUMers!

I think OP has a good point. I don't think it's healthy to see your spouse everyday for lunch. You need time away from each other. It sounds like they spend too much time together. And also as a first time mom you need to have some independence. Help your wife feel like she can do it on her own.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same poster whose husband was being difficult about finding a new apartment—something about how it needed to be close to your church and maybe his work too? Did you say that he comes home to poop at lunch? If I’m getting even a fraction of this right, he seems pretty annoying, and I feel for you.