Worried About His Age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

If you and your friends can’t relate to someone only 8 years older, you’re not nearly as educated and worldly as you think.

Who said anything about relating? I’m just not attracted them and don’t appreciate being seen as bait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

You sound really high maintenance.

It’s the opposite - it’s the women who just can’t find that super perfect guy to marry that end up missing the boat and getting stuck with older guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 7 years older than me and was 44 and 46 when our kids were born. He's 50 now. Our 6 year old is particularly rambunctious and active and my husband keeps up very well with him. Is he tired at the end of the day? Sure, but so am I!

There are other advantages. He lived on his own for a long time, and is therefore great at cooking/cleaning etc. and is truly a hands-on dad and father who takes on at least half the load.

I’m looking into freezing my eggs because I’m considering wanting kids ideally around the ages you were. How was the TTC journey if you don’t mind me asking? I’m so on the fence be freezing my eggs , but pretty set on wanting kids after 36 or so.

I'm the PP you're asking here. So, I was 37 and 39 when my kids were born. I have PCOS so we needed fertility treatments, but it worked with IUI -- in both cases it worked the first time we used injectables. We got started as soon as we got married, so we didn't have much of a honeymoon stage, but we knew that's what we were signing up for. We both had many years of fun, obviously, so having kids right away didn't bother us. I'm fit and both pregnancies were pretty uncomplicated. My OBGYN practice is full of women doctors who had kids after 35 so being a "geriatric" pregnancy didn't even come up.

[Anonymous]

OP. I'm the PP whose husband was 44 and 46 when our kids were born. I've only scanned a few pages so hopefully I didn't miss a major detail, but he sounds like a good dude. He's not screwing around with you. He knows what he wants and if you do too, it can be great. I was pretty honest with my husband within a few months of dating that I was only interested in pursuing a relationship that was going to go somewhere. Within 6 months he'd told me he loved me (he said it first and well before I was ready to reciprocate) and also that he wasn't planning on going anywhere. Maturity makes a big difference.

He had not had a serious relationship that lasted more than a year prior to meeting me. He just didn't see the value in sticking with someone that it didn't feel right with. We got engaged after about 2 years and married 9 months later. We've been together 10 years now.

One of the things that I remember Carolyn Hax saying was really important was to think about what your partner would be like if you were to break up. Vindictive or mean? Do not marry. But if he'd likely be fair and reasonable, to pursue. That really stuck with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

If you and your friends can’t relate to someone only 8 years older, you’re not nearly as educated and worldly as you think.

Who said anything about relating? I’m just not attracted them and don’t appreciate being seen as bait.

I seriously doubt anyone would consider a 7/8 year age difference when the parties are 32 and nearly 40 as jailbait, weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

Half of your friends will be divorced within 10 years. Some people don’t settle or find that person until later in life.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Some you of you people are really rude. The age gap is not an issue. I’m 32, not 22, or 18. A 40 year old man dating a 32 year old woman is not creepy or weird. I’ve always been attracted to older men and dated a couple of years older than me.

There is nothing wrong with him. Why would he settle and marry someone if he wasn’t sure it would last? Maybe that is the problem with so many unhappy marriages or people getting divorced. Too many people settle or try to marry by a certain age.

I’m not embarrassed by him. My family and friends love him. That statement was beyond ridiculous and stupid. We all turn 40 at some point.

I’m 32 and single but who cares? There is nothing wrong with me, just like there is nothing wrong with him. I could have married previous partners but didn’t because they were met right for me. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you find someone you want to spend your life with. Marriage is not something to be rushed.

I said that I thought my question was stupid. I never even thought about his age until my friends husbands started making those comments. Both are physically and work out. I started to worry about his age. I do know he is a wonderful guy who will make a great partner and father. I never said anything about being in love on this thread because I’m not super emotional. I do love him and can see a future with him. He’s the first guy I’ve ever thought about marrying. Our relationship is so easy and comfortable. I’m letting stupid comments get in my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

Yes and your same age husband will dump you for someone at least 7-10+ years younger in the future. Karma is coming for you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he single at 40?

Because he is smart! Lots of jealousy on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some you of you people are really rude. The age gap is not an issue. I’m 32, not 22, or 18. A 40 year old man dating a 32 year old woman is not creepy or weird. I’ve always been attracted to older men and dated a couple of years older than me.

There is nothing wrong with him. Why would he settle and marry someone if he wasn’t sure it would last? Maybe that is the problem with so many unhappy marriages or people getting divorced. Too many people settle or try to marry by a certain age.

I’m not embarrassed by him. My family and friends love him. That statement was beyond ridiculous and stupid. We all turn 40 at some point.

I’m 32 and single but who cares? There is nothing wrong with me, just like there is nothing wrong with him. I could have married previous partners but didn’t because they were met right for me. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you find someone you want to spend your life with. Marriage is not something to be rushed.

I said that I thought my question was stupid. I never even thought about his age until my friends husbands started making those comments. Both are physically and work out. I started to worry about his age. I do know he is a wonderful guy who will make a great partner and father. I never said anything about being in love on this thread because I’m not super emotional. I do love him and can see a future with him. He’s the first guy I’ve ever thought about marrying. Our relationship is so easy and comfortable. I’m letting stupid comments get in my head.

The people responding are just jealous op. You and the guy are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

Yes and your same age husband will dump you for someone at least 7-10+ years younger in the future. Karma is coming for you. Good luck!

DP. With your attitude, it sounds like that might happen to you first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

Half of your friends will be divorced within 10 years. Some people don’t settle or find that person until later in life.

Absolutely true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of an age difference for me. I just don’t like the vibe of being with older guys and I’m less attracted to them but sounds like that’s not a problem for you.

Much bigger problem - I’d also be worried about any 40 year old who hadn’t settled down yet and who is dating younger women.

This.

LOL. She's 32. Completely age-appropriate.

That’s old for a 32 year old, especially in educated/upper class circles. Why settle for an old guy. I’d be kind of embarrassed to introduce him to friends and family. Plus I’d be worried he has Peter Pan syndrome.

Embarrassed? This is why some of you will single forever.

Nope, I married a 26 year old guy when I was 26 as did most of my law school mates. We were all married before 30. Never considered dating an old creep looking for younger women because I had plenty of guys my age to choose from. Like most girls in their 20s. I’m not special. If you’re not married by 32 there is something wrong - either you are not that desirable or your picker is screwed up. Not married at 40 is a big red flag.

Yes and your same age husband will dump you for someone at least 7-10+ years younger in the future. Karma is coming for you. Good luck!

DP. With your attitude, it sounds like that might happen to you first.

Nope! Already married 43 years. And guess what? We are 7 years apart. Good try though! 😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should be worried about being involved with a dipshit like you I'm not sure you should be left alone with kids.. You're 32 too old to be lacking this much in critical thinking.

Again…..another jealous poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 7 years older than me and was 44 and 46 when our kids were born. He's 50 now. Our 6 year old is particularly rambunctious and active and my husband keeps up very well with him. Is he tired at the end of the day? Sure, but so am I!

There are other advantages. He lived on his own for a long time, and is therefore great at cooking/cleaning etc. and is truly a hands-on dad and father who takes on at least half the load.

I’m looking into freezing my eggs because I’m considering wanting kids ideally around the ages you were. How was the TTC journey if you don’t mind me asking? I’m so on the fence be freezing my eggs , but pretty set on wanting kids after 36 or so.

I'm the PP you're asking here. So, I was 37 and 39 when my kids were born. I have PCOS so we needed fertility treatments, but it worked with IUI -- in both cases it worked the first time we used injectables. We got started as soon as we got married, so we didn't have much of a honeymoon stage, but we knew that's what we were signing up for. We both had many years of fun, obviously, so having kids right away didn't bother us. I'm fit and both pregnancies were pretty uncomplicated. My OBGYN practice is full of women doctors who had kids after 35 so being a "geriatric" pregnancy didn't even come up.

Amazing! This is encouraging. Thank you so much!! Sigh, not sure if I really should go with freezing them. I don’t really have any concerns with having healthy pregnancies at an older age. Do you mind sharing your practice of your OBGYJN if you’re in the DC area?