Sleeping in on family vacation: what is reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

[Anonymous]

How is 8:30-9 not enough time to obtain breakfast? Seems like plenty to me. The idea that kids that age would be willing to sit for more than 30 mins is unrealistic anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is 8:30-9 not enough time to obtain breakfast? Seems like plenty to me. The idea that kids that age would be willing to sit for more than 30 mins is unrealistic anyway.

Exactly. Plus the “stop serving” hours make it clear that this is the free, included breakfast. Which means you walk up, there are maybe two or three hot options, and the rest is cereal, bananas, and muffins. Grab and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

I know how I like to travel and some people do it my way and some don't. So I know it's not going to be fun to vacation with people who like a slower pace. Or if we do travel it's more of a "let's meet for dinner" after we spend the day we like. But I like to get up and go, knock some of the activities out early before the crowds, and have a busy day and maybe chill for a few hours later in the day before dinner. Other people seem to like to linger longer in the morning. So maybe we spend the same about of time being active but different times of day.

[Anonymous]

I want to know how they get the kids to sleep that late so that I can implement it on my almost 12 year old, who is still up and raring to go at 7:15am every single day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

I know how I like to travel and some people do it my way and some don't. So I know it's not going to be fun to vacation with people who like a slower pace. Or if we do travel it's more of a "let's meet for dinner" after we spend the day we like. But I like to get up and go, knock some of the activities out early before the crowds, and have a busy day and maybe chill for a few hours later in the day before dinner. Other people seem to like to linger longer in the morning. So maybe we spend the same about of time being active but different times of day.

I think that is a healthy outlook—“maybe we spend the same amount of time being active but at different times of day.” All the early birds I know “retire” after dinner, and I’m getting to know other couples at the bar!

Plus, I think activities are to be enjoyed, not “knocked out.” But you do you! I like your awareness and attitude.

[Anonymous]

I predict they may not take you up on your future offers, op.

[Anonymous]

I’m not horrible! I end up cutting food and fetching more juice instead of enjoying my own food half the time.

Well, perhaps part of the problem is that all of you seem to be infantilizing an 8 year old, who should be able to do both of those things by now. Even the five year old should be able to do much of them, unless the juice is in a heavy pitcher or on a high up counter. But everyone should be cutting their own food by this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not horrible! I end up cutting food and fetching more juice instead of enjoying my own food half the time.

Well, perhaps part of the problem is that all of you seem to be infantilizing an 8 year old, who should be able to do both of those things by now. Even the five year old should be able to do much of them, unless the juice is in a heavy pitcher or on a high up counter. But everyone should be cutting their own food by this point.

Likely OP is hovering and inserting herself, and everyone goes with it because it’s just easier to indulge the old bird than to tell her to knock it off.

[Anonymous]

Lololololol!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed in OP's shoes, too. It sounds like this comes down to misaligned expectations and desires.

I agree with the others that OP will be happiest if she lets go a little of the idea that the family has to do everything together.

But I think she needs to talk to her son and his family about what she wants out of this trip, too. It sounds like she wants to be busy doing things - that's how I like to travel, too - whereas they are happier taking things more slowly. Can you come to a compromise? One activity, and two meals, per day, maybe?

In order to be showered and dressed for breakfast by 8:30, in sharing-a-bathroom scenario, I’d have to start waking people up at 7:15 a.m. That’s…not fun on a vacation. That’s the daily grind. Not to mention the kids would be extra tired

I can’t believe you would be annoyed that a family is still showing up with kids in tow ON TIME to eat the free breakfast that grandparents are so desperate to consume to “get their money’s worth.”

I want all of my family members to feel well-rested and relaxed on vacation. I don’t care who pays. You want to eat early? Go do. You want morning excursions? GO DO. I can’t stand go-go-go types on vacations.

Right. So that's why they need to talk. Assuming everyone wants to enjoy the trip, and wants everyone else to enjoy the trip, I think they've gotten a taste of how it doesn't work - so figure out how it does.

I go on vacation sometimes with my parents, and with my husband's parents. We and they understand that we are going to do some things separately, and some things together. But we talk about it. It sounds like that's what is needed here. Not for OP to be upset and the kids to be scrambling to make some ridiculously early breakfast deadline. But for them to decide that is reasonable and what is doable, together. Communicate, OP. Try to get them to communicate, too. They might be working their tails off to get to breakfast, and feel upset that you still aren't happy - and if you could just let them get breakfast in the room, then you all go do something together later in the morning, perhaps that solves the problem.

Also no more resorts where breakfast stops at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

I know how I like to travel and some people do it my way and some don't. So I know it's not going to be fun to vacation with people who like a slower pace. Or if we do travel it's more of a "let's meet for dinner" after we spend the day we like. But I like to get up and go, knock some of the activities out early before the crowds, and have a busy day and maybe chill for a few hours later in the day before dinner. Other people seem to like to linger longer in the morning. So maybe we spend the same about of time being active but different times of day.

This is what we try to do, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

I know how I like to travel and some people do it my way and some don't. So I know it's not going to be fun to vacation with people who like a slower pace. Or if we do travel it's more of a "let's meet for dinner" after we spend the day we like. But I like to get up and go, knock some of the activities out early before the crowds, and have a busy day and maybe chill for a few hours later in the day before dinner. Other people seem to like to linger longer in the morning. So maybe we spend the same about of time being active but different times of day.

I think that is a healthy outlook—“maybe we spend the same amount of time being active but at different times of day.” All the early birds I know “retire” after dinner, and I’m getting to know other couples at the bar!

Plus, I think activities are to be enjoyed, not “knocked out.” But you do you! I like your awareness and attitude.

Knocking out activities is how I roll in Rome or Paris or something. Not so much at the beach. It sounds like the lake trip is more like a beach, what "activities" are there to do? Renting a boat and water skiing for the day? It's not clear what OP wants to do on this trip which sounds like more of a relaxing weekend than super tourist.

[Anonymous]

Four people have to get up and get ready. Two are kids who are out of their routine, and one of those is young enough to still need shepherding. Everyone may not be sleeping well, especially if the four of them are sharing one room. Mom and dad may be undercaffeinated and more tired than usual (that’s what happens to me when I travel). 8:3 breakfast is about what I’d be able to manage. You should eat earlier, separately, and then enjoy a second cup of coffee to sip and sit with them when they come down to breakfast. Find activities that work for everyone’s schedule. Kids slow everything down during travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

It’s good that you recognize the misalignment and don’t expect people to be early risers on VACATION. Vacations do not include alarm clocks or agendas, in my world. I honestly applaud your self-awareness.

I know how I like to travel and some people do it my way and some don't. So I know it's not going to be fun to vacation with people who like a slower pace. Or if we do travel it's more of a "let's meet for dinner" after we spend the day we like. But I like to get up and go, knock some of the activities out early before the crowds, and have a busy day and maybe chill for a few hours later in the day before dinner. Other people seem to like to linger longer in the morning. So maybe we spend the same about of time being active but different times of day.

I think that is a healthy outlook—“maybe we spend the same amount of time being active but at different times of day.” All the early birds I know “retire” after dinner, and I’m getting to know other couples at the bar!

Plus, I think activities are to be enjoyed, not “knocked out.” But you do you! I like your awareness and attitude.

DP. I wouldn’t pick on the phrasing. I personally find activities and sights more enjoyable when less crowded and the day is cooler, which is often in the morning. I’m not really an early bird (8:30 breakfast sounds fine), just find the implication that early birds are vacationing totally differently than you off. It really is just a different schedule. I don’t retire after dinner, but like to go in by 10 or 11. Ideally, down time is in the afternoon instead of the morning, that’s all.