Sleeping in on family vacation: what is reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm pushing back. Several of these posts are mine and I'm 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'm pushing back. Several of these posts are mine and I'm 60.

Pushing back on what? I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

What is reasonable is letting everyone do what they want.

There are no compulsory activities on a vacation. You don’t need to be together all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

[Anonymous]

It's reasonable to discuss your plan for the day. Including what time people expect to wake and have breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's reasonable to discuss your plan for the day. Including what time people expect to wake and have breakfast

Yes but every time I bring this up, they say “whenever we wake up.” Kind of hard to plan.

[Anonymous]

Just wait till they are teens. You will not see them till early afternoon. You go down when you want and they come down when they want.

[Anonymous]

I have the opposite problem. Me and DD are morning people. ILs are not so we end up
Waiting for them all the time..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

Missing out on what? The pleasure of overtired 5 and 8 year old children who were made to wake up early and sit for an hour long meal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's reasonable to discuss your plan for the day. Including what time people expect to wake and have breakfast

Yes but every time I bring this up, they say “whenever we wake up.” Kind of hard to plan.

I just can't wrap my head around grandparents who want their son and DIL to set alarms for their little kids to be awake and downstairs while on a vacation. Do you want your grandkids to have fun on this trip that you treated them to? I'm assuming yes? So why don't you want them to be rested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

My eyes hurt from rolling soooo far back here.

[Anonymous]

Op just curious what type of activities are being missed out on? I had to learn not to overschedule activities on vacation because although I am a go go go type of person, my DH and kids need more down time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op just curious what type of activities are being missed out on? I had to learn not to overschedule activities on vacation because although I am a go go go type of person, my DH and kids need more down time.

Oh God. There is no “go go go” on vacation. Glad you adapted.

[Anonymous]

Before bed tonight, say to them, we are going to breakfast at 8 tomorrow. Would you like to join us or should we meet up after for x activity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before bed tonight, say to them, we are going to breakfast at 8 tomorrow. Would you like to join us or should we meet up after for x activity?

But the point of a family vacation is to do activities and meals together! We want to do activities with them.