Started seeing this new guy. Overhead him on the phone say “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

I’m going to say something that may sound insensitive but I don’t want to be. I don’t like the term. But this is what comes to mind from his response:

Sloppy Seconds.


I’m good without that.

PP, how does his response come off as OP is the sloppy seconds? I could definitely be wrong with how he meant it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

He still feels obliged to take a phone call from and provide and explanation to his Ex..... while on a date. You can't move forward if you are looking backwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

A guy who just started dating two months ago isn’t going to try to soothe everyone’s feelings, he’d own up to it. He’s barely luke warm on her and eh, it’s not like that. I wouldn’t want to date a guy who’s just kinda stringing along and “doesn’t hate me” lol I ain’t wasting my time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

He still feels obliged to take a phone call from and provide and explanation to his Ex..... while on a date. You can't move forward if you are looking backwards.

Totally agree. Not sure if you’ll agree or not but the fact just he feels obligated to the ex proves that his “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that.” indicates that he doesn’t see OP as more than probably a FWB. If he actually liked her he would’ve said yes he does or it’s none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

A guy who just started dating two months ago isn’t going to try to soothe everyone’s feelings, he’d own up to it. He’s barely luke warm on her and eh, it’s not like that. I wouldn’t want to date a guy who’s just kinda stringing along and “doesn’t hate me” lol I ain’t wasting my time.

PP, if he still cares about his ex why wouldn’t he downplay his feelings for OP?

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm hoping he has a good explanation. At least one that you find acceptable. Sorry for all the people on here who are not being supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'm hoping he has a good explanation. At least one that you find acceptable. Sorry for all the people on here who are not being supportive.

Hope is great but the writing is on the wall. It could turn around but is not looking good, especially the “emergency” page when he’s on the hot seat? Sorry, OP. Not saying to drop him right now but do please pay attention to his response to this matter. And no, you do not look crazy for asking what’s going on. If this is someone you could see yourself with, you should feel comfortable broaching uncomfortable topics, especially if it would result in your own peace. Very rude of him to accept a call from his ex in your presence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

I’m going to say something that may sound insensitive but I don’t want to be. I don’t like the term. But this is what comes to mind from his response:

Sloppy Seconds.


I’m good without that.

PP, how does his response come off as OP is the sloppy seconds? I could definitely be wrong with how he meant it.

PP here. How does this sound to you?


“I mean —- it’s “okay” for now.”
“She’s alright”.
Nah, we ain’t there yet.
“Nah, it ain’t like that.”
“She knows what this is.”
“(Laughing) okay, maybe.”



How does this sound?

“Don’t talk like that. I’m not going to listen to this.”
“She’s not going anywhere and you shoullda been be gone, so what difference does it make? For real?”
“You’re wasting your time with this bull shit. Matter of fact, I am too, so I’ve got to bounce. Peace.”


Neutral:
“Nah, son”
“Yeah...you know”
“Yo, let me hit you back”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

I’m going to say something that may sound insensitive but I don’t want to be. I don’t like the term. But this is what comes to mind from his response:

Sloppy Seconds.


I’m good without that.

PP, how does his response come off as OP is the sloppy seconds? I could definitely be wrong with how he meant it.

PP here. How does this sound to you?


“I mean —- it’s “okay” for now.”
“She’s alright”.
Nah, we ain’t there yet.
“Nah, it ain’t like that.”
“She knows what this is.”
“(Laughing) okay, maybe.”



How does this sound?

“Don’t talk like that. I’m not going to listen to this.”
“She’s not going anywhere and you shoullda been be gone, so what difference does it make? For real?”
“You’re wasting your time with this bull shit. Matter of fact, I am too, so I’ve got to bounce. Peace.”


Neutral:
“Nah, son”
“Yeah...you know”
“Yo, let me hit you back”

......ummm huh? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you the Valentine’s Day poster that flew to Atlanta to be with this guy, drove a second time to see him, and most recently saw him while he was visiting his family for Mother’s Day? Was this a convo overheard during his visit here?

If so — c’mon.

No, I’m not. He and I both live in NoVa.

I think you’d advise your friend if this was her situation to drop him or to honestly ask where this is going and decide from there. Are you biased bc he’s a doctor?

Drop him for what? As another PP said he was simply downplaying to his that he likes her by saying “I don’t hate her”.

I’m going to say something that may sound insensitive but I don’t want to be. I don’t like the term. But this is what comes to mind from his response:

Sloppy Seconds.


I’m good without that.

PP, how does his response come off as OP is the sloppy seconds? I could definitely be wrong with how he meant it.

PP here. How does this sound to you?


“I mean —- it’s “okay” for now.”
“She’s alright”.
Nah, we ain’t there yet.
“Nah, it ain’t like that.”
“She knows what this is.”
“(Laughing) okay, maybe.”



How does this sound?

“Don’t talk like that. I’m not going to listen to this.”
“She’s not going anywhere and you shoullda been be gone, so what difference does it make? For real?”
“You’re wasting your time with this bull shit. Matter of fact, I am too, so I’ve got to bounce. Peace.”


Neutral:
“Nah, son”
“Yeah...you know”
“Yo, let me hit you back”

......ummm huh? lol

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

What happened OP?

[Anonymous]

It’s obviously something like this:

Ex: Do you love this new girl?
Him: (minimizing ) I don’t hate her.
Ex: So that’s a yes.
Him: it’s not like that

Basically, he’s downplaying you to appease her which means to some extent he still cares about what she thinks and doesn’t want her to get the impression he’s too serious about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s obviously something like this:

Ex: Do you love this new girl?
Him: (minimizing ) I don’t hate her.
Ex: So that’s a yes.
Him: it’s not like that

Basically, he’s downplaying you to appease her which means to some extent he still cares about what she thinks and doesn’t want her to get the impression he’s too serious about you.

Why would you think he’s “downplaying” vs that’s exactly how he actually feels about OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened OP?

He called me when he had a free moment at work and I asked him exactly what was said. He said the part I heard went like this:

Her: do you have feelings for her?
Him: I don’t hate her
Her: but do you have feelings for her?
Him: I don’t hate her
Her: that’s not what I’m asking. Do you have romantic feelings for her? Butterflies in your stomach, can’t wait to see her, etc?
Him: It’s not like that.

He said he had to go back to work but wanted to come over and talk in person. So he should be by in the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened OP?

He called me when he had a free moment at work and I asked him exactly what was said. He said the part I heard went like this:

Her: do you have feelings for her?
Him: I don’t hate her
Her: but do you have feelings for her?
Him: I don’t hate her
Her: that’s not what I’m asking. Do you have romantic feelings for her? Butterflies in your stomach, can’t wait to see her, etc?
Him: It’s not like that.

He said he had to go back to work but wanted to come over and talk in person. So he should be by in the afternoon.

Actually it may have been *do you like her? Then it went into do you have feelings. I can’t remember, ugh.