Started seeing this new guy. Overhead him on the phone say “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that”?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy almost 2 months. We’re not exclusive (yet) but I like him a lot and can definitely see a future with him. Things have been going really well with us. Anyways, a group of us were over his house (we’ve all been vaccinated btw) having drinks and then we were all going to take an Uber together to this restaurant for dinner. So we’re all laughing, music is blasting, drinks are flowing - having a real good time. The guy I’m seeing is standing on the other side of the table talking to some friends when I see his phone light up and I see the name Michelle pop up on his screen. His ex’s name is Michelle. It’s such a generic name so I don’t know if it was really her. He steps away to go take the call. Meanwhile, our Uber has arrived so I go to grab my jacket and I hear him on the phone. I only caught the end of what she said but all I heard was, “feelings for her”. Then I heard him say, “I don’t hate her” pause “it’s not like that”.

Am I crazy for assuming they were discussing me? Pending that was even his ex. If they were, what the heck does “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” even mean?

[Anonymous]

Who knows? Maybe Michelle was upset because she thinks he hates her and her friend took the phone to talk to him. How can anyone here know if you don’t??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knows? Maybe Michelle was upset because she thinks he hates her and her friend took the phone to talk to him. How can anyone here know if you don’t??

If it was about Michelle he would’ve said, “I don’t hate you.

My money is on that they were in fact talking about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows? Maybe Michelle was upset because she thinks he hates her and her friend took the phone to talk to him. How can anyone here know if you don’t??

If it was about Michelle he would’ve said, “I don’t hate you.

My money is on that they were in fact talking about you.

Not in the outlined scenario.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows? Maybe Michelle was upset because she thinks he hates her and her friend took the phone to talk to him. How can anyone here know if you don’t??

If it was about Michelle he would’ve said, “I don’t hate you.

My money is on that they were in fact talking about you.

Not in the outlined scenario.

If his ex/Michelle called and asked do you have feelings for her why would he respond I don’t hate her if they were talking about Michelle/the ex? Unless she’s some weirdo who talks in third person they were talking about OP

[Anonymous]

Drop him, too much drama, and Michelles are always trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows? Maybe Michelle was upset because she thinks he hates her and her friend took the phone to talk to him. How can anyone here know if you don’t??

If it was about Michelle he would’ve said, “I don’t hate you.

My money is on that they were in fact talking about you.

Not in the outlined scenario.

If his ex/Michelle called and asked do you have feelings for her why would he respond I don’t hate her if they were talking about Michelle/the ex? Unless she’s some weirdo who talks in third person they were talking about OP

Michelle is with friend and calls guy. Michelle gets upset because he is dismissive, friend takes phone and says “she thinks you hate her.” Guy says “I don’t hate her”, etc.

[Anonymous]

Just ask him. None of us can tell you what he meant, we have no idea.

[Anonymous]

He picked up a call from his ex while on a date with you, not a good sign.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it sounds like he is still talking to her. He is probably keeping his options open and telling her one thing. I wouldn’t trust him. He sounds like he is playing both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it sounds like he is still talking to her. He is probably keeping his options open and telling her one thing. I wouldn’t trust him. He sounds like he is playing both sides.

Why are you assuming he’s lying to the ex by telling her “one thing?”

He and OP are not in a relationship, they’re not even exclusive so he’s allowed to do whatever he wants as long as he’s not leading OP on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

[Anonymous]

Please come back and tell us when you find out, OP. This is quite the mystery.