Men, how do you find a wife who makes around the same as you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

Because financial stress and arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce. OP is smart to look for a higher earner in such an expensive place like the DMV area. This doesn't mean he won't love her. I'm a 45 y/o woman with a high paying job who married her college boyfriend and is happily married. Having financial security really lessen the other crap that life throws at you over the years.

Women usually marry for financial security, not men.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband in grad school both should have been highish earners. I’m 35 and at $290k and he made some poor career choices and is at $50k at 40. It’s infuriating. I love my husband but it’s been rough. We were supposed to be equalish partners and I have the burden of finances and the large share of child stuff on my shoulders. He is in charge of house stuff which means it’s perpetually in disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband in grad school both should have been highish earners. I’m 35 and at $290k and he made some poor career choices and is at $50k at 40. It’s infuriating. I love my husband but it’s been rough. We were supposed to be equalish partners and I have the burden of finances and the large share of child stuff on my shoulders. He is in charge of house stuff which means it’s perpetually in disorder.

Just going to leave this here https://jessica.substack.com/p/is-divorce-the-only-answer-to-an

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

Because financial stress and arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce. OP is smart to look for a higher earner in such an expensive place like the DMV area. This doesn't mean he won't love her. I'm a 45 y/o woman with a high paying job who married her college boyfriend and is happily married. Having financial security really lessen the other crap that life throws at you over the years.

Women usually marry for financial security, not men.

Maybe they should re-think that. DH didn’t mean to marry a high income woman, but he constantly crows about how glad he is that he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband in grad school both should have been highish earners. I’m 35 and at $290k and he made some poor career choices and is at $50k at 40. It’s infuriating. I love my husband but it’s been rough. We were supposed to be equalish partners and I have the burden of finances and the large share of child stuff on my shoulders. He is in charge of house stuff which means it’s perpetually in disorder.

Just going to leave this here https://jessica.substack.com/p/is-divorce-the-only-answer-to-an

DP but maybe I should not have read that because now I want to scream into the abyss...

[Anonymous]

Unattractive lawyers always find matches they pull like magnets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like every other poster here makes 200-300k and is married to someone else making a salary in this range. How do you guys find women like this? I make in this range as well but every girl I’ve dated earns below 50k. I’m not sure I want to enter a marriage with such a disparity in earnings, but I cannot for the life of me find a single woman who is at my level career wise. Am I dating too young? I mostly stick with women 25-30. I’m
32.

My wife is 43. She does not have a college degree. At age 25 she was making 55k as an "account manager ". Doesn't hurt that she's a smoke show. She's in IT sales and now on average pulls 400k/yr.

Her qualities:
-very hard worker
-great communicator
-very social, people like her
-smart
-hot

Just don't marry someone who wants to have babies and quit working. Also don't marry a beta woman. They are boring and lack ambition.

At this point I would not object to her to quit working. She was with a company who went IPO (so major options) and has spent almost 20 years contributing to a 401k. However it is not in her personality to sit at home watching Oprah and organizing PTA bake sales.

[Anonymous]

When I met my husband, I made $60k. Granted that was over 15 yrs ago. After we got married, I quit to take care of the kids and start my own business. I made a negligible amount of money for years. My husband supported me through this, which was a massive sacrifice for him and I’m forever grateful. I now make roughly $350k as WAHM at 40.

The income increase is a journey and usually one that doesn’t peak in early 20s. Meet a woman with a good education and work ethic. If you support each other in your careers, you’ll hopefully get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

Because financial stress and arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce. OP is smart to look for a higher earner in such an expensive place like the DMV area. This doesn't mean he won't love her. I'm a 45 y/o woman with a high paying job who married her college boyfriend and is happily married. Having financial security really lessen the other crap that life throws at you over the years.

Women usually marry for financial security, not men.

Maybe they should re-think that. DH didn’t mean to marry a high income woman, but he constantly crows about how glad he is that he did.

+100. Men need to rethink that. Many are left destitute when thier low-earning spouse takes everything in divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

Because financial stress and arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce. OP is smart to look for a higher earner in such an expensive place like the DMV area. This doesn't mean he won't love her. I'm a 45 y/o woman with a high paying job who married her college boyfriend and is happily married. Having financial security really lessen the other crap that life throws at you over the years.

Women usually marry for financial security, not men.

Maybe they should re-think that. DH didn’t mean to marry a high income woman, but he constantly crows about how glad he is that he did.

+100. Men need to rethink that. Many are left destitute when thier low-earning spouse takes everything in divorce.

Hard to feel sorry for them if they married the hottest woman they could without paying any attention to what kind of professional she was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I met my husband, I made $60k. Granted that was over 15 yrs ago. After we got married, I quit to take care of the kids and start my own business. I made a negligible amount of money for years. My husband supported me through this, which was a massive sacrifice for him and I’m forever grateful. I now make roughly $350k as WAHM at 40.

The income increase is a journey and usually one that doesn’t peak in early 20s. Meet a woman with a good education and work ethic. If you support each other in your careers, you’ll hopefully get there.

Wow! What field are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I met my husband, I made $60k. Granted that was over 15 yrs ago. After we got married, I quit to take care of the kids and start my own business. I made a negligible amount of money for years. My husband supported me through this, which was a massive sacrifice for him and I’m forever grateful. I now make roughly $350k as WAHM at 40.

The income increase is a journey and usually one that doesn’t peak in early 20s. Meet a woman with a good education and work ethic. If you support each other in your careers, you’ll hopefully get there.

Wow! What field are you in?

Im a lawyer, but I do t work in a traditionally “big money” field. I left work as an associate to take care of kids bc I wanted to be very involved in the child rearing. Not everyone wants that, I know. DH encouraged me to work as solo and start my own firm. It took a while to build up bc of the kids. Now I’m doing alright but could be better if youngest will ever get to school. She’s K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At work

+1 woman here - We met at work just after we both had received our MBA’s so we had the same salary. Yes, dating a coworker is risky but it worked for us. Years later I chose a different career path to do something far more fulfilling - non profit - but at that point money was not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Date your equals, professionally. Not women you meet at bars. Socialize with people in your profession.

But make sure you want an equal partner, not someone who will be content washing your dishes and cooking your food.

This thread is vile to me. There are other definitions of “equal partnership” beyond salary. OP seems to be looking at this from the perspective of someone who has very little real-world relationship experience. But what do I know - DH and I make 175k combined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make 300k and DH makes 500k. We met 20 yrs ago on the beach in Dewey, DE.

Poodle beach?

Nope. That is in Rehoboth. We met on Dewey beach.

Love this! Meeting in grad school or at work is so boring.