Men, how do you find a wife who makes around the same as you?
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Anonymous
DP but I think PP is right that you’re going to have to sacrifice something. A gorgeous biglawyer doesn’t need to marry a fellow lawyer. One of those married George Clooney. A gorgeous receptionist might be thrilled to marry a $150k/yr engineer. |
Anonymous
OP here, so I work in tech which is well known for not valuing anything over a Bachelor’s unless you go into some very specialized work like AI, thus I only have a BS in Computer Science. I have zero plans on ever getting a Master’s degree because I simply don’t need and nobody I work with has one. I guess I’m screwed? |
Anonymous
| State your age. That may help some |
Anonymous
| *Date your age |
Anonymous
| Ask to see her tax returns on the first date. |
Anonymous
Good advice. Plenty of professionally successful single women in their early or mid 30s who would like to marry a guy supportive of his career. |
Anonymous
| You all make me sick. |
Anonymous
| I'm a woman - H and I met in undergrad (Ivy). He makes more, but I'm also bringing 200K and the benefits and job security as a fed. I didn't make as much at 25 y/o, so if you want to date a 25 y/o, you need to look at her potential and consider someone with potential for a well-paid job - IB, doctor, lawyer, computer engineer, brand name consulting. Another option is someone with family $. My landlord was a young woman who was managing her family's properties - I think they had like 10 SFH and townhouses in McLean/Vienna area. |
Anonymous
Why? What's wrong with wanting to date someone with similar earnings? |
Anonymous
| We met in law school. |
Anonymous
at your level - career wise - or at your level - salary wise? As others stated, many accomplished professionals do not make high salaries. You mentioned you are in tech - what are your career accomplishments? I'd bet that you could much more easily find ~30 y/o women who are about where you are in terms of career accomplishments, rather than those making $200K+. |
Anonymous
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We met in college but weren't an item, reconnected at a conference many years later. OP, maybe socialize with people you went to school with? Go to more industry events (post-COVID)?
I will also say that for some of our friends the problem OP is describing is that they are turned off by ambitious, driven women who don't have time to fuss over them and don't take nonsense from anyone. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who has a comparable career to you, but you have to be prepared (and happy!) for them to be your true equal. |
Anonymous
| I make 300K now, but I didn’t until my mid-late 30s. DH makes 1M now but he made 125K when we met ( 1st year associate in big law) and I made 18K as a TA in grad school. We built a partnership together. Everyone’s salary is a snapshot in time. You are dating women who are just starting out in careers. Some will have almost topped out because some professions have flat salary scales. Some will start earning more as they move up. No one is only worth their income in life. You should find a nice person with similar interests who is a hard worker and then be a supportive husband who doesn’t expect her to do the lion’s share of housework and childrearing. That is your best bet for a similar salary in a spouse, but only if you actually share those duties. If you don’t plan to, you need to be prepared to pay for it in terms of lessening your partner’s earning power. You can’t have it both ways. |
Anonymous
| I believe in dating someone the same age as me. Salary didn’t matter to me- career goals and being a good father were #1. I’d make my own money. We also met very early. I think the high earners get picked earlier just because they have everything together. |
Anonymous
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OP, is it possible women in your salary range are looking for something else?
Just for fun, here's the hot and crazy matrix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbpGkrViOcE&ab_channel=SamPotter |