Men, how do you find a wife who makes around the same as you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost everyone I know is in two career marriages with high incomes and they all met in grad school.

+1. This is us.

If you don’t meet in school, you meet via very small social networks where the men date with an eye to the high earning overachiever (even if she wants to step back once you have kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost everyone I know is in two career marriages with high incomes and they all met in grad school.

+1. This is us.

If you don’t meet in school, you meet via very small social networks where the men date with an eye to the high earning overachiever (even if she wants to step back once you have kids).

Or you get lucky and meet on the beach!

[Anonymous]

You also need to remember that income at any time is only a snapshot. My DC is 22 and will make $190k this year, so right now you would think that’s attractive. What you wouldn’t know is DC hates the job and won’t stay more than another year, and is unlikely to find another job that pays anywhere near as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At work

+1 that's how we met.

Where is OP meeting these women? Tinder?

Right?

How are you meeting so many women making $50k when you are looking for a much higher earner, OP?

[Anonymous]

Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost everyone I know is in two career marriages with high incomes and they all met in grad school.

+1. This is us.

If you don’t meet in school, you meet via very small social networks where the men date with an eye to the high earning overachiever (even if she wants to step back once you have kids).

I was a high earning overachiever. So was DH. I decided to stay home with the kids. I didn’t expect to want to spend so much time with the kids. I hated outsourcing everything.

Op, be prepared to outsource your life if you expect your high earning wife to continue working.

We had a nanny, cook, cleaner and tutor.

[Anonymous]

My DH met me in grad school. He was working a pretty good job while I did 4 years of that and 2 years of postdoc. Now I outearn him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hilarious

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First -
Totally unlikely a 25 year old will make $200K. That’s still entry level age.

I married at 33, my husband was 36. He made twice as much as me at the time. After 10 years I made
$25K more. Then he got laid off. Was is employed for a time. He is employed now. Makes decent money, but I make way
More now.

You have no idea how life will turn out.

That's what an entry level lawyer in Biglaw will make. Plenty of those folks around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not try to marry for love?
If you want money, you are better off trying to find a trust fund baby.

DH and I met in grad school. I actually earned more than him when we got married. Now I am a SAHM of 3 kids and he earns a seven figure income.

Lawyers, doctors and bankers/finance girls earn as much as you. If they are hot and smart, they are most likely taken. You can meet these girls at elite grad schools.

Because financial stress and arguments are one of the leading causes of divorce. OP is smart to look for a higher earner in such an expensive place like the DMV area. This doesn't mean he won't love her. I'm a 45 y/o woman with a high paying job who married her college boyfriend and is happily married. Having financial security really lessen the other crap that life throws at you over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We met in college but weren't an item, reconnected at a conference many years later. OP, maybe socialize with people you went to school with? Go to more industry events (post-COVID)?

I will also say that for some of our friends the problem OP is describing is that they are turned off by ambitious, driven women who don't have time to fuss over them and don't take nonsense from anyone. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who has a comparable career to you, but you have to be prepared (and happy!) for them to be your true equal.

When I (Biglaw) was engaged to my husband (Biglaw), I met one of his friends for the first time. After, the friend told my husband “She’s great, but you do realize that you’re not going to get away with anything?”

I took that as a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like every other poster here makes 200-300k and is married to someone else making a salary in this range. How do you guys find women like this? I make in this range as well but every girl I’ve dated earns below 50k. I’m not sure I want to enter a marriage with such a disparity in earnings, but I cannot for the life of me find a single woman who is at my level career wise. Am I dating too young? I mostly stick with women 25-30. I’m
32.

At this point, you should be dating women, not “girls”.

You’re dating too young and too attractive.

[Anonymous]

High earning women don’t need to settle for old guys like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High earning women don’t need to settle for old guys like OP.

I would have loved to meet someone like OP when I was in my twenties in med school/residency. Men who are willing to compromise their own goals and priorities somewhat in order to support their wives/girlfriends careers are hard to find.

It seemed like all of the men I dated were either high achieving and expected me to do all of the understanding and all of the compromising, or they had a 9-5 and didn’t understand my insane schedule:

I am going to work Monday morning, but I won’t get off until Tuesday afternoon. Yes, I want to see you on Tuesday afternoon, but only you. I have 15 hours to bathe, eat, and get in two nights of sleep, and I don’t want to spend any of them at your buddy Dave’s house.

I would have loved to have met a man who would have come over after work with take-out on Tuesday evening .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like every other poster here makes 200-300k and is married to someone else making a salary in this range. How do you guys find women like this? I make in this range as well but every girl I’ve dated earns below 50k. I’m not sure I want to enter a marriage with such a disparity in earnings, but I cannot for the life of me find a single woman who is at my level career wise. Am I dating too young? I mostly stick with women 25-30. I’m
32.

Stop dating "girls".