Girlfriend Turned Down Offer - She We Break Up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

So, you just want friends with benefits and not a real commitment. I'd say no too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

It seems like you're the one who is playing games. I really hope your gf figures this out You are far too immature to be a husband and father, and I'm shocked you're 39.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

Np. Are you going to tell her this? Because if that is how you feel and dont tell her than you are a jerk. Break up with her now and spare her a life of misery with you.

[Anonymous]

Wow, op. If you love her enough to want to propose in another 6 months how could you change your mind so quickly. You are doing exactly what you say she is doing.....saying one thing and changing mind the next day.

My dh and I were 30 and 31 and had been dating 8 mos. His lease was ending and he asked me to move in together and I said “ sure , when we’re married.”

If she’s the one she’s the one. Be vulnerable and just ask her why the change, how you feel hurt etc. you sound petulant...” she said no so I’ll teach her and not propose now!” Does not sound like she is the one for you if you can turn away so easy. Married 20 years and hurt feelings, disappointments, and misunderstandings is part of a life together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

I would never marry someone I hadn't lived with first.

How do you look your kids in the eye and tell them you lived with DH before marriage? Good luck.....your kids will do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

That’s you. Many people aren’t you.

Waiting until marriage is the stupidest thing ever. You need to know you can live together before becoming married.

funny

70 years ago living together was unheard of. Yet the divorce rate was much lower.

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen a lot of girlfriends make very bad choices to live with guys. They move into the guys house, have to pay 1/2 his mortgage (more than her rent before) and then they get dumped and are homeless. They cook and clean for the guys too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

That’s you. Many people aren’t you.

Waiting until marriage is the stupidest thing ever. You need to know you can live together before becoming married.

funny

70 years ago living together was unheard of. Yet the divorce rate was much lower.

Ehh women had no options and no education to afford to leave

[Anonymous]

OP, don’t talk about breaking up when you discuss how you feel tonight. That would complicate things and would weaken your commitment to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

You sound like a petulant child. "It's not fair!" "I'm taking my proposal and going home!" Act like a almost-40 yr old and discuss this with her like a rational human.

All of this. I seriously question whether you are emotionally mature enough for the kind of relationship you’re contemplating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

I would never marry someone I hadn't lived with first.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

I would never marry someone I hadn't lived with first.

How do you look your kids in the eye and tell them you lived with DH before marriage? Good luck.....your kids will do the same thing.

Not pp but, I would encourage them to do so. Nothing to be ashamed of. I would only suggest it if they were getting married but, it's their life ultimately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never live with a guy before marriage

That’s you. Many people aren’t you.

Waiting until marriage is the stupidest thing ever. You need to know you can live together before becoming married.

funny

70 years ago living together was unheard of. Yet the divorce rate was much lower.

Ehh women had no options and no education to afford to leave

+1

Women couldn't even rent their own apartments or buy their own homes 70 years ago - where were they going to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

It seems like you're the one who is playing games. I really hope your gf figures this out You are far too immature to be a husband and father, and I'm shocked you're 39.

Nope. I’m with OP on this one. She has reneged after saying yes to moving in. I wouldn’t propose because who knows if she will not be ready for that then. She seems like she is playing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I’ve gotta agree that you two need to learn to communicate better. You kind of lost me at “it’s not fair” that she said no, and quite frankly it makes me a bit concerned for *her*, if this is the way you react to her expressing her needs.

It would be extremely premature to break up over this without really sitting down and hashing out both of your thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations, and it’s essential that you’re able to do that if you’re to have a healthy future together.

I’m wondering - does she still envision getting engaged at the year mark, even if you’re not yet living together? I doesn’t sound like you’re really understanding where she’s coming from.

OP here. I don’t think it matter because I won’t propose at 1 year anymore.

It seems like you're the one who is playing games. I really hope your gf figures this out You are far too immature to be a husband and father, and I'm shocked you're 39.

Nope. I’m with OP on this one. She has reneged after saying yes to moving in. I wouldn’t propose because who knows if she will not be ready for that then. She seems like she is playing games.

You are just as immature as OP, if you're not OP sockpuppeting because you're feelings are hurt no one is agreeing with.