to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

several different posters, btw, that all have a narrative different from your own, sexless marriage guy (SMG).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

several different posters, btw, that all have a narrative different from your own, sexless marriage guy (SMG).

I'm simply surprised he can't figure out why? I can from his posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative!

She is addressing 'affairs save the marriage'. You don't even fully read the threads in order. You just throw out you stupid blanket proclamation. She said no they don't. When she discovered, he was immediately dead to her. Good-bye. Continue trying to justify your actions. If you have to stay on dcum all day to justify to yourself what you are doing, it's pretty sick. Don't you have to work or an AP waiting for you? Or is your sexless wife the breadwinner?

[Anonymous]

I can't wait untilSMG gets caught. He is going to be a groveling, pathetic p*ss bag when it happens. Big tough guy in his anonymous posts

[Anonymous]

SMG what is your plan when your wife eventually finds out? Deny? Divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative!

She is addressing 'affairs save the marriage'. You don't even fully read the threads in order. You just throw out you stupid blanket proclamation. She said no they don't. When she discovered, he was immediately dead to her. Good-bye. Continue trying to justify your actions. If you have to stay on dcum all day to justify to yourself what you are doing, it's pretty sick. Don't you have to work or an AP waiting for you? Or is your sexless wife the breadwinner?

Read the title. She is addressing sexless marriage guy's claim that affairs save the marriage. Affairs DO save a sexless marriage from otherwise certain divorce.

Stop conflating non-sexless marriage topics (like cheating) in a thread that is PER THE VERY TITLE entirely about sexless marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative!

She is addressing 'affairs save the marriage'. You don't even fully read the threads in order. You just throw out you stupid blanket proclamation. She said no they don't. When she discovered, he was immediately dead to her. Good-bye. Continue trying to justify your actions. If you have to stay on dcum all day to justify to yourself what you are doing, it's pretty sick. Don't you have to work or an AP waiting for you? Or is your sexless wife the breadwinner?

Read the title. She is addressing sexless marriage guy's claim that affairs save the marriage. Affairs DO save a sexless marriage from otherwise certain divorce.

Stop conflating non-sexless marriage topics (like cheating) in a thread that is PER THE VERY TITLE entirely about sexless marriages.

To be clear: I despise cheating and I have never posted anything about "affairs saving a NON sexless marriage". So if I seem confused it's because OP may be challenging me for something I have NEVER said, and this entire thread may be invalid. If you have a normal active sex life and your partner cheats, no wonder this would lead to a marriage ending divorce! I have nothing to say about cheating (in a NON sexless marriage) except:
a) it is terribly evil, don't do it
b) if you are cheated upon, you have my full sympathy and wish you will in the divorce
c) very very few men who are NOT in a sexless marriage actually cheat (so that's good right?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.

See there you go, President. You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage. We had sex multiple times per week.

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court. I answered. It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack. I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative!

She is addressing 'affairs save the marriage'. You don't even fully read the threads in order. You just throw out you stupid blanket proclamation. She said no they don't. When she discovered, he was immediately dead to her. Good-bye. Continue trying to justify your actions. If you have to stay on dcum all day to justify to yourself what you are doing, it's pretty sick. Don't you have to work or an AP waiting for you? Or is your sexless wife the breadwinner?

Read the title. She is addressing sexless marriage guy's claim that affairs save the marriage. Affairs DO save a sexless marriage from otherwise certain divorce.

Stop conflating non-sexless marriage topics (like cheating) in a thread that is PER THE VERY TITLE entirely about sexless marriages.

To be clear: I despise cheating and I have never posted anything about "affairs saving a NON sexless marriage". So if I seem confused it's because OP may be challenging me for something I have NEVER said, and this entire thread may be invalid. If you have a normal active sex life and your partner cheats, no wonder this would lead to a marriage ending divorce! I have nothing to say about cheating (in a NON sexless marriage) except:
a) it is terribly evil, don't do it
b) if you are cheated upon, you have my full sympathy and wish you will in the divorce
c) very very few men who are NOT in a sexless marriage actually cheat (so that's good right?)

All good. Except for c). That is where you are stuck.

I just ended a therapy session with a therapist that was stressing how much cheating actually happens in good marriages with sex. She said this with no prompting from me, btw. She stressed what a fallacy it is that something was missing from a partner or they weren't giving enough/including sex. She said if a person is going to cheat it doesn't matter what is going on at home or in the bedroom. Period. She said it is a fallacy women tend to tell themselves so they feel like they have control: I stayed fit and attractive, I was a beast in the bedroom, earned $, put dinner on the table, etc. etc. and all of those things would shield me against cheating in my marriage. Sadly, that is one of the biggest myths about cheating out there. And many, many posters on this board have stated they were having sex with their male or female spouse and they still cheated.

She gave a long, long list of motivations that someone would cheat and many did not include 'sexless'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
To be clear: I despise cheating and I have never posted anything about "affairs saving a NON sexless marriage". So if I seem confused it's because OP may be challenging me for something I have NEVER said, and this entire thread may be invalid. If you have a normal active sex life and your partner cheats, no wonder this would lead to a marriage ending divorce! I have nothing to say about cheating (in a NON sexless marriage) except:
a) it is terribly evil, don't do it
b) if you are cheated upon, you have my full sympathy and wish you will in the divorce
c) very very few men who are NOT in a sexless marriage actually cheat (so that's good right?)

All good. Except for c). That is where you are stuck.

I just ended a therapy session with a therapist that was stressing how much cheating actually happens in good marriages with sex. She said this with no prompting from me, btw. She stressed what a fallacy it is that something was missing from a partner or they weren't giving enough/including sex. She said if a person is going to cheat it doesn't matter what is going on at home or in the bedroom. Period. She said it is a fallacy women tend to tell themselves so they feel like they have control: I stayed fit and attractive, I was a beast in the bedroom, earned $, put dinner on the table, etc. etc. and all of those things would shield me against cheating in my marriage. Sadly, that is one of the biggest myths about cheating out there. And many, many posters on this board have stated they were having sex with their male or female spouse and they still cheated.

She gave a long, long list of motivations that someone would cheat and many did not include 'sexless'.

Again: the “affair is necessary to save marriage” advice is exclusive to sexless marriage scenario. Many folks here don’t like that fact but almost nobody has disputed this, and many have (reluctantly) agreed.

Since you now want to switch topics and discuss cheating, let’s limit this to why MEN cheat.
Google “why do married men cheat”. Answer: sexual dissatisfaction. Of course the puritanical liberal media likes to soften the blow by making broader more generic statements. But the bottom line is most men who cheat do so to get more sex. Period !!! Whatever long list of motivations you come up with, the simplest of these (not enough sex with wife) sits at the too far above any distant second.

Women cheat for very different reasons, rarely is it due to an unwilling husband.

[Anonymous]

^ more sex which includes variety (a different person) after 20 years screwing the same one.

This does not mean the marriage is sexless. It’s like when a boyfriend cheats on his girlfriend. They were having sex. The opportunity was there for sex with somebody different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ more sex which includes variety (a different person) after 20 years screwing the same one.

This does not mean the marriage is sexless. It’s like when a boyfriend cheats on his girlfriend. They were having sex. The opportunity was there for sex with somebody different.

I am specifically talking why married men cheat. not frequent enough sex, wherein the wife is not interested. In other words a sexless marriage. THAT is (bad far) the most common reason why married men cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ more sex which includes variety (a different person) after 20 years screwing the same one.

This does not mean the marriage is sexless. It’s like when a boyfriend cheats on his girlfriend. They were having sex. The opportunity was there for sex with somebody different.

I am specifically talking why married men cheat. not frequent enough sex, wherein the wife is not interested. In other words a sexless marriage. THAT is (bad far) the most common reason why married men cheat.

And I’m telling you at midlife men getting sex at home often due it solely for variety. They have only had the same woman for 20-years. 20-years of vanilla, if chocolate presents an easy no strings opportunity when they are at a time in life they feel they are getting old and didn’t accomplish what they wanted by now: Hello chocolate!!

It’s a story as old as time. They haven’t stopped banging vanilla and they don’t even plan to ever runaway with chocolate.

It happens more often with high libido men which you don’t sound like which is why you can’t fathom it. I don’t know any woman that completely stopped having sex with their husbands who were cheated on...which is why they all were booking STI appointments. As a gynecologist, there are so many women I treat that have caught something from a cheating spouse...or were cheating themselves.