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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP this is nothing new, I'm sure most know it.

When I was cheated on he was immediately dead to me. It certainly didn't save anything, lol. All I can add, a outsider isn't worth losing your spouse, kids, and finances over. Years ago I worked in family court, I can't tell you how many men cried foul at all the consequences of their cheating. Women too, but mostly men who didn't want to accept the domino effect. I'm sure when they were cheating though it was a different story, lol.  [/quote]

But you skipped a crucial detail. What was your marital sex life BEFORE he cheated? If you had lost interest such that his sexual needs were no longer being met, then your marriage was already on the fast track to divorce BEFORE he cheated. So his cheating in fact DID save your low sex marriage.

Whatever happened in family courts is not a consequence of cheating, it's a consequence of the sexless marriage which preceded the cheating.[/quote]

See there you go, President.  You ASSUME once again, it had to be the result of a sexless marriage.  We had sex multiple times per week.[/quote]

Yours is a rare special case. Sorry for your betrayal, but go start a thread about cheating because this is a sexless marriage thread, not a cheating thread.[/quote]

You are the one that directly asked me if I were in a sexless marriage when my husband cheater...and then you want to put down family court.  I answered.  It doesn't fit your narrative so you attack.  I think you are confusing several different posters for one person.[/quote]

Right. Because look what thread you are on. This is a sexless marriage thread. This is NOT a cheating thread. You weren't in a sexless marriage, you were in a cheating marriage. So why are you even posting here on this thread at all? Of course a non-sexless marriage does not fit the sexless marriage narrative![/quote]

She is addressing 'affairs save the marriage'.  You don't even fully read the threads in order.  You just throw out you stupid blanket proclamation.  She said no they don't.  When she discovered, he was immediately dead to her.    Good-bye. Continue trying to justify your actions.  If you have to stay on dcum all day to justify to yourself what you are doing, it's pretty sick.  Don't you have to work or an AP waiting for you?  Or is your sexless wife the breadwinner?[/quote]

Read the title. She is addressing sexless marriage guy's claim that affairs save the marriage. Affairs DO save a sexless marriage from otherwise certain divorce.

Stop conflating non-sexless marriage topics (like cheating) in a thread that is PER THE VERY TITLE entirely about sexless marriages.[/quote]

To be clear: I despise cheating and I have never posted anything about "affairs saving a NON sexless marriage".  So if I seem confused it's because OP may be challenging me for something I have NEVER said, and this entire thread may be invalid. If you have a normal active sex life and your partner cheats, no wonder this would lead to a marriage ending divorce! I have nothing to say about cheating (in a NON sexless marriage) except:
a) it is terribly evil, don't do it
b) if you are cheated upon, you have my full sympathy and wish you will in the divorce
c) very very few men who are NOT in a sexless marriage actually cheat (so that's good right?)[/quote]

All good.  Except for c).  That is where you are stuck.

I just ended a therapy session with a therapist that was stressing how much cheating actually happens in good marriages with sex.  She said this with no prompting from me, btw:).  She stressed what a fallacy it is that something was missing from a partner or they weren't giving enough/including sex.  She said if a person is going to cheat it doesn't matter what is going on at home or in the bedroom. Period.   She said it is a fallacy women tend to tell themselves so they feel like they have control: I stayed fit and attractive, I was a beast in the bedroom, earned $, put dinner on the table, etc. etc. and all of those things would shield me against cheating in my marriage.  Sadly, that is one of the biggest myths about cheating out there.  And many, many posters on this board have stated they were having sex with their male or female spouse and they still cheated.

She gave a long, long list of motivations that someone would cheat and many did not include 'sexless'.[/quote]

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